Tag: job

This post has no anachronism in it

Mia2 Comments
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This post has no anachronism in it because I’m a modern person. I don’t know if I understood the word right, though. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t the movies ‘Back to the future’ and ‘Kate and Leopold‘ about that? There are characters in them that come from different times. Anyway, I belong in this time, but I yet don’t belong. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one with sense. I always thought I was a misfit. I wasn’t a typical teenager. I liked staying at home. I didn’t want to spend time in a youth centre or hang around in shopping centres. I didn’t need to be there. People who don’t like staying home must have a reason for not wanting to be there. I have never had that problem. I have never understood getting drunk. I don’t even like alcohol and not forgetting throwing up. It’s ridiculous to drink so much you can barely walk. It’s embarrassing to watch. Drunk people are boring too. Trying to get a decent conversation with people like that.

I was born at the right time. At least, that’s what I thought when I was younger. I’m not sure now. Sometimes I wish I could be younger, and sometimes older. I’m lucky to have experienced the world without computers and with computers. Kids today have no idea how things were in the past. Certain things were better then. We weren’t occupied with mobiles. You talked to people face to face. Parents trusted their kids. Even the music was better than it is today. Young people had respect for older people. Now parents are lost on how to raise their kids. Mental issues have increased, and so on. The list is endless.

The good thing about the present is that things are more accessible. You can buy food without leaving your home. You can use different apps to do many things without queueing anywhere. I’m glad I am the age I am right now. For example, I’m not a novice when it comes to technology. Many seniors have trouble with that. Certain things are complicated for many different ages, like a job search. It has become a sci-fi project where you need to be perfect. People tell you how to answer questions in a job interview; if you answer incorrectly, you won’t get the job. Why are things made so complicated? It’s a competition where only the pretty and lucky ones get anything. Modern technology is one of the reasons to blame for the world’s problems.

It’s good that I’m not a kid or a teenager. They need to see fake photos on social media, and they compare themselves to that. If you get bullied in school, they will also bully you online. There are a lot of expectations from other people. I don’t envy them. A lot of things seem to end up on social media. When I was young, we didn’t need computers and mobiles to feel alive. We lived for real then, and no one bothered what you did in your private life. There was pressure from other people, but they were people you knew. No stranger told you what to do and what to look like. The internet has made life easier, but it has also given more problems. But you can never go back, so you must live with what you have. You should think about the positive side of it all. That’s how you go by.

The golden moment came and went

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I have a temporary enthusiasm when it comes to interests. I get excited about one thing, but then the golden moment passes. For example, I applied for a job, and they would contact me the following week. Now it’s almost a month, and still no message. I could reach the place, but I’m no longer interested in the job. I prefer to apply for something else instead. I rarely get excited about things, but then when I do, it doesn’t take long. If there were ADHD for making decisions, I would probably have it. My mind is easily distracted. That’s maybe the reason why I have so much unfinished fictions.

I read a column about how you these days need to know what you want to do at 15. It was the same when I was that age; so things haven’t changed. In Finland, you can choose where to study after elementary school. You can go to high school or training school. I didn’t choose either. I didn’t know what I wanted to be. I knew I didn’t want anything ordinary. I went to a folk school for a year in education I didn’t want to be in. But my late mother said you need to start somewhere. I’ve had a few schools I didn’t want to be in, but that’s another story. The column reminded me of how many different subjects I’ve studied. It hasn’t got me a job, but I’m versatile. You don’t need to know what you want to be at 15. You have the right to change your mind. Your interests change. I don’t understand why people tell kids they must choose a career at a young age or they’ll be screwed. Everyone doesn’t know what they want to be. We can’t all be made in the same format. No wonder young people get stressed and depressed when they are lied to. Pressure is the worse kind of motivating factor. The golden moment might never happen but never say never. Life is about trying different things; try again if one doesn’t work.

I had an enthusiasm for becoming an entrepreneur. When I studied web design some years ago, I had a taste of working with clients. It appealed to me not having to go anywhere and working when I wanted. I even went on a course about entrepreneurship in 2018. I still had that as an option later on. But now I’m trying the easier way out, finding a job, because starting a business seems too much work and time-consuming. I’m not afraid of working hard, but I’m not getting any younger. Once, I wanted to become a professional photographer. I put all my thoughts into it. I studied it at the beginning of the 2000s. I enjoyed it for two months, but then I quit. One of the teachers put me off it. He was against digital cameras. It was only film cameras, and nothing else mattered. Developing film and all that was too difficult for me as well. I didn’t think about photography as a profession for years. Thanks to digital cameras, my interest in photography was on again. To make the story short. I came to the conclusion I wanted to do more than photography. It’s only been a hobby for me. It would be nice if I could also use it in a job.

People change, and interests change. What you wanted to do when you were a kid, you might not want when you’re an adult. People change jobs and careers every day. Everything is temporary. Once upon a time, people stayed in a job until they retired, but today and in the future, nothing lasts forever. Doing variable jobs during your lifetime is much better than doing one position for the rest of your life. I would feel trapped if I wasn’t allowed to do different things. I end this post with one of the ‘Lord of the rings’ quotes I can relate to.

“What do you fear, lady?” [Aragorn] asked.
“A cage,” [Éowyn] said. “To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

Confidence or imprecation

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How would you rate your confidence level?

Daily Prompt

My confidence level depends on the day. Some days it’s 0, the others is 9. I don’t know if it’s an imprecation or just the way I work. I never seem to know what I want out of life. I don’t feel confident around other people. When I’m on my own, I feel I can be myself. In the beginning, when I meet new people, I try to be outgoing. But then it gets tiring, and I keep to myself. It feels like no one is responding to me, so I let it go. Why stress about it how others see you? For example, when I started the filmmaking course, I talked to a person, but now I don’t say anything to anyone. Maybe it’s a Finnish thing, but people never ask me anything. I have to take the initiative, and it’s stressful for an introvert. Finns are only open when they know the person. Or if you’re a tourist, they are nice to you. It’s hard to make friends with a Finn. Even for the Finns themselves. We are all strangers at first, but I don’t know how people become friends if they never ask things about you. I don’t know how I had friends when I was a kid. It was easier then, I guess.

I’m confident about certain things, but then reality hits, and they are dashed. One of them is working somewhere, and I do my job well. But others might not think the same. How would they know when I’m not getting a job anywhere? I’m confident I can get a job one day, but those hopes disappear when I don’t get one. There is some kind of imprecation hanging over me regarding job searches. A healthy person shouldn’t be treated like this. But there are a lot of others who won’t get hired either, no matter what they try. You can’t get more confidence if no one wants to give you a chance. Many people lose their confidence when things don’t go how they want. I haven’t lost mine because my confidence level rarely gets to zero. If you lose your faith in yourself, feeling blue is easier. What others think about you is not relevant. Especially those who want you harm. Like the song, ‘Greatest Love of all’ by Whitney Houston, whatever they take away from me. They can’t take away my dignity.

At our latest meeting in school, we had a producer who taught us about movie production. He said you should do things even if you’re afraid. It’s true, but it’s not easy for someone who prefers getting away from situations like that. I don’t have that kind of confidence. I have been running away from things I’m afraid of all my life. I’m a dreamer and not a risk-taker. I have a temporary confidence period, but then I get nothing done anyway. I know I should, but something stops me from acting. It’s not about being afraid of failure; I’ve been through that many times; it’s about not having enough confidence in my skills. I don’t want to spend time with something that won’t get results. It’s not easy to start something when you don’t know if you got what it takes. Becoming an entrepreneur is one of the most challenging things, to begin with. That’s better than having to try to please employers to hire you. At least then you can get more confidence in what you do. One thing is for sure, my confidence level is better than it was when I was younger. I guess that’s what life experiences give you.