Ten years of nothing

blurry and dark nothing
Made in Canva

I don’t memorise years so I don’t know what happened when. All I know is that in 10 years I haven’t accomplished nothing to brag about. When others have had career moves, families and other things they’re proud of, I’ve just hung on. But I’ve learned to enjoy the small things because big things only disappoint. If I went to a school reunion I would feel like a failure because I haven’t done anything. I wouldn’t even go. Some people think they need to do something special so they can call them living life. I have never needed to go to some other place to find myself. Whatever finding yourself means. Anyway, the point with this post is going down the memory lane. I got this idea from a post on Instagram.

2010
I studied graphic design in a 2-year education. This was the 2nd year. That’s all of that year.

2011
I graduated from the graphic design education. This was the last year we went to Lapland to ski. I didn’t know it would be the last.

2012
My mother was diagnosed with cancer which was a big chocker. She got treatment and went through operations. There were still hope she would win the decease. The year was a lot of that so I don’t remember anything else. Oh, besides I got an internship in a local newspaper for two weeks as a photographer. Even if my mother was sick she was still concerned about me finding a job.

2013
This year was the most difficult time for me and my family. Mother told us her cancer couldn’t be cured. The doctor had done everything but nothing helped. Soon she got worse and maybe two weeks (or a week) at the hospice she was gone. That Christmas was the worse.

2014
This year I started this blog. I did write occasionally in 2013 but 2014 was the year I really started it. I also studied photography at Helsinki Design School.

2015
I finished photography education. I realised I didn’t want to do photography like a pro after all so it was time to think about something else once again.

2016
I found a web design education that lasted a year. I applied and got in. I wrote a blog about my education which is called ‘My Web Design Haven’. I don’t write it anymore but here it is. The education included on-the-job learning where you should find clients by yourself. Luckily I found at least one. That was hard because coding is not my favourite thing but luckily the client was very understanding. I got good feedback from the client as well.

2017
There was another on the job learning and this time we had to have at least 3 clients. I found them but only two of them was serious.  This was the time I really started to think about entrepreneurship. I really liked the thought of not having to go anywhere and I could choose my own time. To pass the education we had to have a presentation of our client work in front of 3 valuators. It was really nerve-wracking. In the end, I passed and graduated. I only had one job interview but that’s something I don’t want to remember. I went to my first ever live concert that summer and that was Robbie Williams. I wasn’t sure I would go but I’m glad I did.

2018
At the beginning of that year, I got accepted to a course about entrepreneurship. It was mostly done online but we had some meetings too. The hardest part was writing a business plan. After that course, I decided to apply to Helsinki Design School again. This time in graphic design. I applied to it twice and the 2nd time I got in. My plan was to add graphic design to my services if I would become an entrepreneur.

2019

I was on a plane for the first time in my life. I and dad went to the Canarian Islands. I got through the graphic design education. This is where I began to rethink about entrepreneurship and I’m still doubting. I applied for a job in something else but the interview was just that and nothing else. I hate it when I have to assume I didn’t get the job. Again they didn’t give me an answer. But I didn’t want the job anyway.

2020
Then there’s this year. I’m getting a new laptop because my old one has Windows 7 and they won’t update that anymore. I’m changing brands as well. It’s a Mac which I’ve used before so it’s nothing new. Then there’s the concert by Elton John at the end of summer. That’s all I know so far.

So there you have it. Ten years of nothing is not entirely true. I did do things so it’s not all boring. Both happy and sad things but nothing to brag about on social media and such. Where I will be ten years later is a question I don’t want to reply to. I don’t even know what I’m doing at the weekend. No one really knows what will happen in 10 years. It’s only wishful thinking.

Who do you think you are

two red nails middle fingers on table
Made in Canva

Every year in Finnish media they write about how much celebs or people with business have earned. Who the hell cares? There are a lot of people who don’t earn anything big. These “rich” people think they’re better than poor people. If they did care, they would share their wealth with others. But all they do is pomp their own existence. Who do they think they are? “Ooh, I’m so lucky. I worked hard for my money” And blah, blah. Instead of giving money to the less fortunate, they buy their houses, boats, cars and so on. They think they need all those things. If I was rich I would give back to society. I wouldn’t mind paying taxes. If you earn a lot then you should pay more. But they complain about how awful it is to pay them. Boohoo. Share, you greedy git.

Not only people with money are pomp. Also these 15 minutes of fame wannabees. Those people who make videos of themselves or take part in reality shows. “Look at me, I’m famous now when people have seen my face on the screen” Every year there is a new season and it starts all over again. No one will remember them. Didn’t they’re parents love them enough or what? If these people would have something to say but all they want is fame. One of these is a show like Love Island. Or whatever they’re called. Cheating is OK then. OK, idiots. I’m glad I don’t watch them. I hate all the commercials about them. They have no morals and they’re all pomp.

I hate people who brag about their life online. I’m not jealous. I feel sorry for them for having the urge to post about their life in almost anything they do. Are these people really happy or are they only pretending? I don’t care. I’ve got problems of my own. Some things just tick me off so I have to let it out somehow. Some people think they’re something special because they can afford to do things. They have fabulous jobs and think anyone can be what they want to be. Everyone is not born under lucky stars. Everyone doesn’t have a bubbly personality who get any job they want. To have the money you need a job or else you need to live with someone else’s money. The governments money. Everyone doesn’t want to put their faces on photos or videos either. That’s what it seems you need to succeed, to show yourself. Especially when social media is in the game too. Pomp all you want but don’t shove it down my throat, thank you very much.