Advent Calendar 2024 – Day 11

Christmas balls, stars and light part 11
Made with Canva

Day 11

The journey to the end of the year 2024 is going on. The year wasn’t the way I thought it would. My dad died, and that’s something I didn’t think would happen so soon. I hoped he would have lived as long as possible, but you don’t always get what you want. I didn’t think my mother would have passed away at 68 years of age. On Sunday, it’s been 11 years. You don’t think about the day your parents die when you’re younger. You only live your life, and you don’t think about it. I had classmates who lost one of their parents when they were in school, but I never thought I would lose mine as early as I did. It doesn’t matter what age you are; losing a loved one is never easy. You might as well be 5 years old. Except when you’re older, you know what it means. When I lost my big sister in 1983, I was only 6 years old, and luckily, I didn’t remember much about it. My dad used to say that I was smiling more before her death. It does change your whole life when you’re at the start of it. It’s tough, especially for the parents, to lose a child. We took a trip to Europe to get past the sorrow. We went to Germany, the Italy-Austrian Alps, Denmark and Switzerland. It was cheaper because I travelled for free. It was possible in the 1980s, and I don’t think you can do that anymore. Getting away was one way to handle grief. You get other things to think about.

I have to make my journey on Earth without them. I still have good memories of them and can always return to photos and videos. I believe things happen for a reason. When you experience life challenges, you get mentally stronger. You need to because life goes on, and you make the most of it. The loved ones want you to move on because life is for the living. There is a time and place for everything. My next journey is the Christmas cruise to Tallinn, which I’m looking forward to. It will be different without Dad. At least I don’t need to ask anyone else where to go.

On a journey and back again

StPeterLine
Princess Maria, Harbour of Helsinki 2016

Back from Saint Petersburg. Took over 300 photos so it will take some time before I get the report ready. That’s a journey I want to tell you about in later posts, dear readers.

When one journey ends, another begins. Actually life in general is a journey. Some have more and some have a less exciting ones. What I dislike the most is the tension I get when I experience unfamiliar things. It feels like my stomach is in a knot. It’s not anxiety, it’s just a temporary feeling that goes away after a while. It used to be much worse when I was younger. Even going to the unemployment agency was something I hated doing. Any social gatherings made me nervous. My heart was pounding like crazy and I kept thinking about everything that could go wrong. Even if my mother told me it’s just jitters and it will be a relief when it’s over, I was still nervous. She was right though which I only realised when I got older. It’s OK if you make a mistake. It’s human. Everyone gets nervous, even the famous ones.

Next journey I’m going to is an interview for a school I applied to. It’s in a small town in Western Finland. I sent the application before the holiday and there are gonna be an interview next month. It’s a Web Designer schooling, if anyone’s interested. I’m not very good at interviews so we’ll see how it goes. Since it’s in a small town, I’m a bit sceptic about how I’m gonna feel at home there if I get into the school. Living in a dorm again is a bit of a turn off. There are rooms for one but there are not many of those. Sharing a room with another is not my cup of tea. At least I get home on the weekends. The education takes about a year so maybe I manage. You never know what kind a journey it’s gonna be. Another concern is how to get there. The bus is the only thing but which one, that is the question. That’s another journey entirely.

There are some nice journeys and some bad. Even blogging is one. The difference is that you don’t need to go anywhere. I do like going to places but most times I don’t have the courage to do them. Some do things, I dream. If I lived in my head, the world would look different. In your mind things go they way you want them to. But then reality hits you and your dream bubble burst into pieces. If I go through life the way it is and I’m still around when I’m old, then I’ve done something right. My journey through life probably won’t be very eventful but it’s better be safe than sorry.

 

Tallenna