No one says happy birthday anymore, except if you mention it’s your birthday. On Facebook, you get notifications when it’s a birthday. Maybe the people who follow me don’t have it on. I used to get much more in the past. I wish people happy birthday, but I don’t get one back. Birthdays are not the same anymore anyway. It won’t ruin my day if no one says Happy Birthday. Either way, it’s nice when someone does say it. I only celebrate a birthday by going out to eat and maybe a cake. But that’s about it. I don’t want to fuss about any of that.
I don’t need birthday presents either because I already have everything I want. It was different when I was a kid. Birthday parties were necessary too. Why would you like to celebrate becoming older? Life is strange. When you’re young, you want to get older, but when you are, you wish you could be younger. Nothing is ever good enough in a person’s life.
If no one says happy birthday to you. You should say it to yourself because there is nothing wrong with saying that. So I say Happy Birthday to me.
My life right now has no direction. Whatever I do or go, it’s a dead end. It’s controlled by the employers and the employment office. Try to align a life when you’re not given a desired direction. I should apply for one job each month, and I’ve done so. But they are open applications, so it’s only a thank you for it, and that’s it. You can’t get a job with that. Not in the line of field I’m in, at least. Maybe if you want to work in a store or a ‘normal’ job like that. It’s challenging to even find a job to apply for. They want people with work experience and with a super portfolio. It makes me feel like a loser, even if I don’t think I am. But that’s what a job search feels like. I don’t think I want to work in a company for several years anyway.
I try to live day by day and wait for the day I know things will happen. Next week it’s the filmmaking course and then later in the summer two pop concerts. There is no point in thinking about things that might not happen. Other people can’t take away the direction I want to go. I don’t want my life to be aligned because that’s boring. Ultimately, I choose in what direction to take my life, and no one can take that away.
I have a lot of topics that I like to discuss but no one to do it with. I write a blog instead. It’s mostly talk and no action, but at least I get my thoughts down. Some things are important to me but don’t seem like that to others. If I had a pet, I would talk to it. Since I don’t, I speak to Mon Ami, my favourite toy monkey. Maybe it’s weird, but I like some weirdness, and I don’t care what people think. Certain things you can’t write in a blog. They are private. I also don’t want people to know about my sad infatuations. Talking or writing is food for the mind, and you need to take it out of your mind one way or another.
I like to discuss music, movies, photography, graphic design, blogging, sport etc. But I don’t talk politics or religion. Or private things. I might say other facts about me, but nothing intimate. It’s no one’s business but my own. For specific topics, I only have opinions and short answers. Other issues I could talk about for hours. A shame; not many people want to know what I have to say. I don’t like talking about things just to talk. What most people are talking about doesn’t interest me. I don’t like networking because there is no soul in them. I like deep conversations. Unfortunately, people who want to do that don’t exist in real life. Without the internet, there would be no one to share thoughts with. It’s a wide, wide world. Blogging is a great way to express yourself when you are an introvert like me. It’s no point explaining what an introvert is to people who don’t want to understand. But that is a topic for another day.