Music makes my heart flutter

illustrated sheet music notes
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There are a lot of ways to add the word ‘music‘ to sentences. Thank you for the music. Music for my ears. Music makes the people come together. We all have our favourites when it comes to music taste. You don’t need to listen to what others are listening to. It doesn’t matter what age you are. You can still listen to classical music even if you’re a teen. For me, music is a part of life. It’s an escape or it can be something that inspired you. It helps you through your sorrow. It makes your heart flutter with joy. I don’t what I would do without music. It would be very silent for sure.

I’ve written about music on this blog before. Here are a couple. I don’t want to repeat things so you have to read it yourself if you want.

I’ve only been once in a live concert and that was Robbie Williams in 2017. I don’t know how that Elton John concert in September will go so I’m not gonna add that yet. That would be my second. I’ve been to performances but I think they were playbacks. Live music is totally different. It should because if it isn’t live, it’s better to stay home and listen to a record instead. Or places like Spotify. I loved the Robbie Williams concert and I wish I could experience the live concert feeling again. Fingers crossed for the Elton John concert that it won’t be cancelled because of this coronavirus thing.

I always have the radio on or listening to lists I created on Spotify. I have the paid version since last December because I couldn’t stand the ads. I listen to all kinds but pop and rock are the best. I especially love 80’s music. On Spotify, you can find songs you haven’t heard for years. I mostly listen to classics but sometimes I like new songs too. A lot of bands and artists I like are still active. I still buy CD’s so not all music is online. I love singing to tunes I really love. When I’m alone though. There is no place for a live audience. Even if I haven’t listened to a song for years, I still remember the lyrics. The songs still flutter my heart years later. I think I never get tired of them.

You hear the names of new artists and bands but you don’t listen to their music. But I’m not that interested to follow the music industry the way I did when I was a teenager. There are so many older bands and artists to care about so there is no time for anything new. Unless it’s a new song for a movie. Like the new James Bond song sang by Billie Eilish. ‘No time to die‘ A lot of people complained about it before it was even released. Then when they heard it, they got on the bandwagon and saying it’s the best Bond tune ever. I don’t get how people judge music before they even heard it. I don’t usually find new songs I like by new artists but this one I liked it from the start. It really got that Bond feels to it. Her voice suits it very well too.

So music flutters my heart when it’s something I like. If I didn’t have Spotify on my mobile, I would probably only listen at home. Trips without music would be a very boring one. Then you would have to listen to other people chatting about things you don’t want to hear about. Sometimes when I’ve travelled by bus, the internet connection has failed so I couldn’t listen to music but at least my mobile (old and newer) has a radio. Once I forgot the headphones at home so I couldn’t listen to anything and it was hell. The trip felt forever. Music does make time go faster. I can even concentrate better if there is music in the background. It’s talking that disturbs me the most. Hearing neighbours talking or the noise outside, makes me lose focus. Music is better than having to listen to things that make you upset. Music will always be a part of me and that’s how I keep going.

Finally orchestrated what I want

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Finding something that satisfies you the most can be difficult. Especially when you’re young and need to decide what you want to do with your life. You think you have to decide there and then what you want to do for the rest of your life. But it’s not that easy. You can’t decide on your whole life. It changes and your opinions changes. You’re allowed to change your mind. What you thought as a teen doesn’t necessarily apply when you’re an adult. It shouldn’t even be like that. You should grow and move on. Experiences change you. People change you. You should become wiser as you get older. Maybe still make the same mistakes because in certain things you never learn. When you finally orchestrate what you want, you feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

It took me years to discover what I wanted to do in life. I tried to study different things but I didn’t find anything that I would feel passionate about. Nothing seemed to feel right. I was so concentrated on what job I wanted to do so I missed out on other things. You can’t really miss anything that you never had though. I was independent and I didn’t need anyone else. My priorities were elsewhere so I didn’t think much about it. I’m also very hard to please in certain things but that will remain private. I didn’t want a so-called normal job. I wasn’t looking for a miracle either. If you want things done, you need to do them on your own terms. I was lucky to have parents who supported me to choose what profession I wanted. Some parents might push their kids to the limits and that can cause other problems later on. I was free to do what felt most natural. My parents knew I couldn’t be told what to do so they didn’t force me to. I’m still like that. Apparently, before I learned to walk, they wondered when do I actually start to do that. I crawled a lot and one day I just stood up and started walking. That’s a story my dad told me. Maybe I was just careful or I was afraid to start walking. It could also be because I didn’t want to get rushed. I wanted to do it in my own time and that’s how my life has been. I don’t like rushing things because then the quality won’t be good. In that sense, I’m a perfectionist. In certain other things, I’m not that fussy.

When I finally find that thing I want to do, I don’t get to do them. That’s graphic design. At my current job (which I’m temporarily laid off from) I don’t get to do much design. I was only there for two weeks until this coronavirus came. The job is mostly internal and external communication. Now when I have free time I could practice the programs but now I think about something else instead. I don’t even think I’m good enough to be a graphic designer but I still want to do it. I’ve thought about the web design but that seems too much work. I can hardly update my own website. I would like graphic design to be the main thing. When my current job contract ends I wish I didn’t need to look for a job in the open market. Maybe this break from the job is a sign for me to start something on my own. The time is probably not right now because businesses are in trouble and it’s harder to find clients. This would be a good time to at least think what kind of services I should have. I’m just glad I don’t have to think about what to do in life anymore. Finally orchestrated what I want and that is a relief.