Follow your dreams so I went back to bed

follow your dreams
From Canva

Ever feel like you’re the only perspicacious one in this world and others are idiots? You don’t think you’re better than others though. Everyone makes stupid decisions sometimes. I have days I feel like an idiot. But I don’t make a habit of it like some people do. Some days you don’t want to get out of bed because you meet idiots all day anyway. Dreams you dream at night are much better than following your dreams in real life. In life, some don’t want you to become anything. No one should give in for idiots but yet you’re too afraid to take risks. I really admire people who do anything for their dreams no matter what others say. I wish I was like that but in this case, I’m an idiot.

I’m a dreamer and honestly, it’s upsetting me. My mother used to say I’m not firm enough. Especially when searching for a job. I don’t believe in my own abilities. Even now when I study graphic design, it feels like I haven’t improved much. I’m always in doubt if it’s my thing after all. Others seem to be much better at what they do and I’m just an amateur that no one wants to hire. Not even for free. At least I know what I’m not good at. You should concentrate on things you’re good at. Drawing is one I always sucked at. One of our school assignments for this month is drawing an Easter bunny. But it’s really hard.

bunny sketches
My sketches of bunnies that I did on the plane to Playa del Ingles.

None of these is good for an Easter bunny. I’ve done more but they all awful. It should be on a package of a bag of Easter candy/sweets. I looked for how to draw bunnies step by step on Pinterest but the ones I draw look nothing alike. I can’t draw a good bunny out of my head. They all look like crap in the picture. I won’t be saving my life with illustrations.

It’s mostly about your attitude of how you see things. I try to think positive even if it’s sometimes hard. Some things can bring you down so you think nothing will ever change. There is a lot of motivational quotes on Pinterest and online so reading those makes you feel better. The world is full of idiots but do not let them spoil your spirit. Don’t lose your perspicacious because the world is going mad.

An abandon plan opens a new one

cracked wall
Made in Canva. Image by Pexels from Pixabay

When you’re young you think you need to make final decisions about your future and stick with it. But in life, you never know. Sometimes you have to abandon a plan and start all over. It’s fine to change your mind. I’ve started a lot of things over again. If it’s about choosing an occupation or even starting a blog. A lot of people made bucket lists and if they don’t achieve them they feel they have failed. Life is not gonna be over. You can achieve them at any age. You don’t need to do everything before you’re 20 or 30. Not even in your life. Some things are impossible to achieve anyway. For example, everyone won’t invent something that still doesn’t exist. Your goals should be little things.

An abandon plan opens a new one and it can be something much better. I have many times abandoned my fanfictions and starting a new one. So I have quite a lot of unfinished stories I’ve posted online. I get new ideas and then I forget the old ones. It’s either boredom of the stories or my interests have changed. It can also be because I feel people aren’t reading them anymore. I don’t know if the new ideas are better though. I post them on AO3 (Archive of our own) and some older stories still get kudos even if I finished them ages ago. I use to post them on my fanfiction blog here on WordPress but it’s a bit difficult because my stories are quite long. I just can’t seem to write short stories. I plan it to be short but then when I get ideas, they keep on coming.

Before I started this blog I had a few but they didn’t pay off. You know what they say (or William Edward Hickson said), if you don’t first succeed, try try and again. So I did and here I am, still. I also have two on Tumblr but the whole place has gone downhill. I can’t find anything to post there. I had to start the main blog all over again so the old stuff I had there is gone. So no more pics of Tom Hiddleston. Not that I reblogged that very often. Now nothing interesting is coming on the Explore. It’s a place where you can find what is trending and recommendations for you. Since all the old things are gone on my blog the rest is gone too. I reblogged quite a lot but now there’s only boring stuff. I don’t bother searching for things to post myself either. Besides, Tumblr has always been a place for weird stuff. It was fun when I started to use it but now I’m quite bored with it. At least they banned pornographic stuff there. I hated it when people with half-naked photos of themselves started to follow my blog. I’m no prude but my blog wasn’t for people like that. The only thing I post there is this blog post but it’s probably going to deaf ears over there.

I wish I could make easy decisions with other things like I do with writing. I shouldn’t be worried about failing but I still do. With writing it doesn’t matter if I fail because it’s just a hobby but if I fail in life decisions things can go worse. Running out of money or end up on the street. That’s quite a radical example but it could happen. I think that’s one of the reasons why I keep thinking about becoming an entrepreneur or not. It’s easy to think about things in your head but the reality is much harder. I go back and forth with my thoughts but I can’t make a decision. As an unemployed, it’s not easy to start something because if you do, you get in trouble with the job centre. And other things could happen which I won’t get into. Some impatient person would probably be fed up with my indecisiveness already. No one should be hurried with deciding things. You should do them in your own time. Plans take time to fulfil. I wish I would have thought like this when I was younger. It would have saved a lot of time and less stress. Even though I don’t regret my past I wish I could have abandoned some things a bit faster than I did. What done is done.