Bloganuary: I wanna be loved by you

rock giving a heart to another smaller rock
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Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Bloganuary 2024

The words, I love you, have never been used in my home. But caring about one another is love, too. You don’t need to say those words. Showing that you care is love, which is more important. If you love me, show me how I say.

I feel love when someone shows they care. My parents have shown me they do. Especially my mother. She was also dedicated to how I did in school and kept in touch with my teachers. She always worried about me. Sometimes, it was a little too much for my liking. Even when she was sick, she still worried about how I would manage. I knew she meant well, even if it sometimes agitated me. Now, there are times I wish she was still alive. I wouldn’t need to meet all the problems that might be ahead with my father. Honestly, I’ve felt a little lost after she passed away. She knew about things my father didn’t, so I could ask her for advice. My father always thought about his work, so my mother was the caretaker. This wasn’t a positive example because it also brought sadness.

If I could hatch again from the eggshell of life, I wish I could have the same family without illnesses and deaths. My big sister was a significant part of my life. It was short, but I felt loved by her. She was excited when I was born. I was only 6 when she died, so I don’t have many memories of her besides the photos and videos of her. Sometimes, I think about how things would be if she were still alive. Losing a family member at an early age changes a person. Thinking about the positive memories makes it feel better.

sisters
Me and my big sister, Nina

The closest people in your life make you feel loved. When the world gets cold, your family is the one to count on. They don’t need to say they love you because those are only words. Showing them how is the key to one’s life.

Bloganuary: Not that crazy business idea

blue book on pink background
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Come up with a crazy business idea.

Bloganuary 2024

I did a serious business plan when I studied entrepreneurship. It isn’t a crazy plan; it could be a serious one. My ideas aren’t crazy. They try to be as realistic as possible. The plan has changed since then. It was 2018. I must have been mad if I thought web design would be one of my services. You can call me a serial offender when it comes to making plans. But you are allowed to change your plans.

The general idea was to do digital graphic design. I would use my own photography and maybe sell them separately as well. My business would be for small and medium-sized companies based in Finland. Especially female entrepreneurs. My clients would also be foreigners living in Finland, so my clients could work with me in English. I can also work in the Swedish language. I’ve had clients when I studied web design, so working with people isn’t new. I liked it when I could work whenever I wanted, and for a while, I kept thinking about starting a graphic design business. I’m not a brave person who can start something like that. I don’t even have work experience in the field, and my portfolio isn’t super good. I thought about getting a part-time job, but I had no luck. I sent an application a few days ago but haven’t heard from them. Maybe that is a lost cause. It’s probably hopeless to get any work experience.

Having a business is a little romanticised. It’s hard work; they say it can take a few years to profit. That’s a bit of a turn-off. I don’t want to wait that long. I need to get money somewhere. It feels like I belong to a group of people who are destined to live on welfare. What worries me the most about having a business is finding paying clients. I don’t even get likes on Instagram. I have to like my own posts. Likes differ from getting a client, but marketing your business isn’t easy. Maybe it’s a crazy business idea of some sort, but it could also be a true one. I hope I can make a decision about what I truly want.

Bloganuary: The mission unknown

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What is your mission?

Bloganuary 2024

My mission depends on what it is. In life, I don’t know what my mission is. But my life isn’t planned ahead. In the end, it’s you who should have the choice of how to live it. At least as far as you can control it. You must have some luck, but I’m not a lucky dog. It doesn’t even get close to me. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. I’ve applied for a graphic design job, but who knows if I get close to it. At least, that’s a mission accomplished. No one can blame me for not trying.

I hope my mission is not about forgetting to live my own life. My father is turning 80 this year, and his memory is not the way it used to be. I hope I don’t need to take care of him and forget my own life. I don’t want my life to change that much. It might sound selfish thinking about this, but it feels like I haven’t lived as much as other people my age. So far, my father is doing fine by himself, but you never know how things could change.

My current mission is to find a job or some kind of work where I can earn money. Other missions are unknown.