Bloganuary: Close your eyes and concentrate

lottery tickes
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What would you do if you won the lottery?

Bloganuary 2024

I’ve never gambled and never will. I have no money to either. My dad used to buy lottery tickets, but he never won anything significant. Maybe small amounts, but there is no point in spending money on that. You need to have luck to win by chance. That’s what it is. I would only win in a dream world. I would use my concentration on something more likely. I don’t know what I would do if I won the lottery. You don’t know before you win.

I have no mortgage to pay or something I need money for. If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can probably imagine what I would do if I won the lottery. It depends on how much I have won. Some of it I would use for travel and for living. Then, I would give some to my dad. The rest I would give to charity. You know what they say: mo money, mo problems. Or it’s actually Notorious B.I.G. sang it. Money doesn’t make you happy; it only gives you people you don’t want to have around.

In a way, I already won the lottery, being born in a peaceful country where you can express your opinion without fear of consequences. Winning is more than having money, you know.

Bloganuary: Dream job in a tangled web

sleeping person with book on face
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What’s your dream job?

Bloganuary 2024

Wouldn’t it be great if you got paid for sleeping? That would be a dream job for me. But getting back to reality. My dream job is in a tangled web. I like to do many things, which was difficult when I decided what kind of job I wanted. I always wanted to do something creative and something that wasn’t a regular job. I’ve studied this and that, but I had no luck when it came to getting job experience. They’ve mostly been short internships, but employers don’t appreciate them. I’ve never been a go-getter, so maybe I haven’t gotten anywhere because of that. I’ve had dream jobs, but they’ve changed through the years. Perhaps I’ve been naïve for thinking someone would give me a job after my different studies.

When I was 6, I wanted to become a baker because I liked to help Mum in the kitchen. But then I realised you need to get up early in the morning. I’m not a morning person. Once, as a kid, I wanted to own a candy/sweet shop because I thought I could eat them as much as I wanted. But of course, you can’t. It was only something I thought about. Some people know since they are kids what occupation they want and work for it to reach their goals. For some, it can change through the years. Maybe I’ve looked for something that doesn’t exist. When I finally knew what I wanted to do, I didn’t even get an internship to get field experience. Some employers I’ve sent applications to don’t even get in touch. Job search, in general, is a tangled web, and it’s mentally draining trying to impress people. Then you don’t even get a thank you note.

A dream job would be something where you can control what you do. You can work whenever you feel like it, and you would get paid enough so you wouldn’t need to worry about your financials. No one wants to admit they want a well-paid job without struggling to succeed. But you should also love what you do, regardless of your salary. I couldn’t do a job if I didn’t like doing it. I don’t want to be rich. I only want a job that I’m excited about. I’ve been in enough workplaces I didn’t want to be in. Life should be about what you enjoy and not what others want you to do. Money is nice, but it shouldn’t be the only motivation.

 

Bloganuary: I wanna be loved by you

rock giving a heart to another smaller rock
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Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Bloganuary 2024

The words, I love you, have never been used in my home. But caring about one another is love, too. You don’t need to say those words. Showing that you care is love, which is more important. If you love me, show me how I say.

I feel love when someone shows they care. My parents have shown me they do. Especially my mother. She was also dedicated to how I did in school and kept in touch with my teachers. She always worried about me. Sometimes, it was a little too much for my liking. Even when she was sick, she still worried about how I would manage. I knew she meant well, even if it sometimes agitated me. Now, there are times I wish she was still alive. I wouldn’t need to meet all the problems that might be ahead with my father. Honestly, I’ve felt a little lost after she passed away. She knew about things my father didn’t, so I could ask her for advice. My father always thought about his work, so my mother was the caretaker. This wasn’t a positive example because it also brought sadness.

If I could hatch again from the eggshell of life, I wish I could have the same family without illnesses and deaths. My big sister was a significant part of my life. It was short, but I felt loved by her. She was excited when I was born. I was only 6 when she died, so I don’t have many memories of her besides the photos and videos of her. Sometimes, I think about how things would be if she were still alive. Losing a family member at an early age changes a person. Thinking about the positive memories makes it feel better.

sisters
Me and my big sister, Nina

The closest people in your life make you feel loved. When the world gets cold, your family is the one to count on. They don’t need to say they love you because those are only words. Showing them how is the key to one’s life.