I have no mother anymore (nor grandmothers) but for those who have, don’t take her for granted and enjoy this Mother’s Day because one day they will be gone.
Tag: Life
No rapid decisions found here
When it comes to life choices my decision making is nothing but rapid. As a matter of fact, it’s really slow. Quite dead slow actually. It sometimes bugs me. I wish I could make up my mind a bit faster. I’m not impulsive at all. I don’t know what I’ll do the end of the week little less what I’ll do in 5 years. I really admire those who got it all figured it out. They’ve come much further than me. I’m still waiting for my train when others have already taken different trains. Get out of your comfort zone people say but it’s not as easy as it sounds. It doesn’t happen overnight. I can’t suddenly become brave and do something. It takes a lot of time and effort. I’m an introvert after all.
It’s soon a year ago since I graduated from web design and nothing has happened. I still have no job. I went to that entrepreneurship course but now I have nothing. Of course, I have that graphic design course in the Autumn. But I should have something else too besides that. I’ve just been passive lately. I sleep late and then half of the day is gone. It doesn’t help that the weather is getting warmer which makes me even lazier. I’ve got so much else to do so I don’t have the time. Or things that are more enjoyable to do then job search. This is where this decision making is slow. To be an entrepreneur or not. First I had difficulties to know what I occupation I should have and now this. I’m not good at neither. I should have found out what I wanted to do years ago but everything seemed so uninteresting. Now when I do know what I want to do, getting started is the hardest thing.
What is the hurry anyway? Do I miss the train of opportunities and I’ll never get anywhere as long as I live? Life is short but it’s not that short that you have to do things this second. If you want things done properly, it’s better doing it slowly. I might be in the shadows right now but that’s only because I’m waiting for my time. That time will come and if doesn’t too bad. I can settle for less. I don’t need to live a glamorous life to feel good. I don’t even like that kind of attention. I don’t make any rapid decisions so the world just has to wait.
So where is my Genie?
Life ain’t easy but it shouldn’t be this hard. Things that come easy for some, doesn’t mean it will happen to you. If it’s love or getting a job. You often see how someone has got lucky and they brag about it like it was so easy. It’s like they’ve rubbed a lamp and the genie comes out. It’s good for them but why would others really care. It only brings jealousy in others. Some can be happy for them but that doesn’t make things better for others. Not everyone is as lucky as them. So where is my genie?
I think mine has a life sentence in jail because I’ve never been that lucky. Sure, my things are better than for some but it could be better. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and think about things you don’t have. I wish there would be a parallel universe where everything you want will go like planned. I could get the guy I want and the job I want. There it wouldn’t matter how you look and the society would be flawless. In this life, you’re either lucky, not that lucky or really bad luck. I don’t believe in this you can make your own luck. You can’t choose who you meet or being in right place at the right time. You can’t make that kind of luck. You can’t even choose in which country you get born to. Even if you do live in a country with a lot of opportunities, nothing is certain. It was proven today again when the course of entrepreneurship ended that a few of the students got a job. It’s good for them and you can be happy for them. Maybe this isn’t luck but a few of them can start their entrepreneurship already and they even have clients. I’m not even close. I still only think about it. I’m worried my business will fail because I’m not lucky enough. It’s like in space where no one hears you scream. When it comes to jobs, no one ever offered me one. If I even shouted from the rooftop I’m looking for a job, no one would notice. Maybe I’m just being too pessimistic. But if you never really had that genie, you don’t believe anything good will ever happen.
I’ve taken part in many competitions to win products but I never won. Only once which was a box of candy/sweets when I was a child but that’s about it. I see no point in entering because I’ll never win anyway. The same with everything else. If someone asked what is my greatest achievement, there isn’t many. At least nothing to brag about. Wishing good luck to me isn’t really helpful because I never have. My genie must in the parallel universe because it isn’t in this one.
In my world 