Connection lost at first sight

connection lost
Made in Canva

Ever felt that no matter what you do, you don’t find the connection with something or someone? You think you do all the right things but they still don’t work. You think it’s because of you. You might take it personally even if it isn’t. Some things don’t have an explanation. They just are. I feel or have felt like I’ve lost connection at first sight. When I meet new people I might talk to them but there is no other connection than friendliness. They say you should make connections so in the future you might need their help. But I have never met such people. They don’t even ask to keep in touch. Maybe I’m just not interesting enough. I don’t want to force people to keep in touch with me if they don’t want to. Making connections in job search seems to be important too. But since I never get any, I haven’t found anything. LinkedIn is a joke too. What a bunch of lies that is. No employer search for employees there. At least not in Finland. Here having relatives is very important or be very lucky.

I don’t get many connections on social media either. I really hate making up tags. Especially on Instagram. That spoils everything. It’s full of fake photos anyway. No one wants to be different. I don’t know why I even bothered starting to using it again. Sometimes I don’t even get any likes at all. It doesn’t matter how many tags I use or what kind of photos I have, they will never get more than 1 or 2. More if I’m lucky but never over 12. Using social media for job search are all lies too. You must be really an attention seeker or something special to rock someone’s world. It doesn’t boost your morale, it takes it out of you. I don’t how some get many likes. Are these people following them so they see the post or what? I just don’t get it. Never compare your followers to how many others have because it only brings you down. It’s all shallow about how to get people to notice/follow you. You should do this and you should do that. It takes forever and in the end, it’s all a waste of time. I just don’t want to bother with it anymore. I’m not gonna force out the tags. I just put what comes to mind and leave it at that. I get likes or I don’t, I’m only gonna post for my own entertainment. I’m tired of trying to impress people.

If someone wants to make a connection, it’s probably spam. You don’t see the difference between the truth and the lies because you haven’t had any real connections. Bad experiences make you doubt things. Especially when it comes to the Internet. You shouldn’t even believe what you see in there anyway. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t trust these platforms like LinkedIn in a job search because you never know if the connection might be an imposter. I rather use something else than use it. It only brings me down. So lies and connection do come together. Both of them are bad news in the end.

Domestic- the dark side of job search

man with a whip
Made in Canva. Photo: Pixabay

Even though the coronavirus thing is going on, people still need to find jobs. Especially young people who are looking for summer jobs. There is a lot of tips on how to make resumes. But the truth is, no matter how fancy your resume looks, if there is nothing to put in it, you won’t get the job. I don’t why people never talk about the domestic side of job search. These bosses probably have this fantasy that they want a young person so they can dominate them. Not literally but mentally. You don’t get your dream job without really good luck. All these job searching “tips” don’t work with everybody. The job courses are quite unnecessary too. It only gives jobs to the counsellors. The only time I had “luck” with these courses was when I found the web design education in 2016.

It’s been 3 years since that education but I haven’t done much web design since. I haven’t even got an internship in the field because you need to be young and/or study it. You can’t get experience if you don’t get a job anywhere. When you can’t practice at a job, then web design is not pleasant anymore. Maybe if I had found an internship after the education, maybe then I would have been more excited. Employers seem to want someone who is a “finished product” The same seems to happen to graphic design too. I wish I would have realised earlier what I wanted to do. Now it seems I’m too old. At least in the employer’s eyes. I wouldn’t even want to work for some domestic boss who tells me how to be. So maybe I’m just better off not having a job in design. At least I have a part-time job (might get back to work soon) or I wouldn’t have anything useful to do.

Then this LinkedIn business. If you do this, you get that and blah, blah. I think that platform is useless when it comes to job search. If you want domestic bosses and people, this is a place for you. You almost have to be popular if you get anything. What irritates me the most about LinkedIn is this how many new connections people get. I have only six. I don’t know how people get any new one’s. I doubt they know that many. LinkedIn is not like Twitter where you add random people. I don’t know anyone so therefore I don’t have many connections. It’s like school all over. I didn’t have many friends there either. Another thing is jobs you find on LinkedIn. Sometimes I get notifications about jobs I don’t even have any education in. If the jobs are about things I’ve studied, it’s always something I can’t do. You need 2-5 years of experience or more. You must be some kind of genius to find a job in there. Maybe LinkedIn works for some but don’t rely on it too positively.

If someone needs a good domestic spanking are those who think people are over the hill at 30+ in the working world. You don’t stop learning no matter what age. You should never judge someone by their age because all ages are different. You should never assume about anyone before you get to know them. The older you get, the harder is to get hired and only because some people think people are too old. Not just the age thing but also if you have a disability or gaps in your resume, some employers think you’re useless for their business. It’s all about the money and in a way, it’s understandable that they don’t hire just anyone. But you can’t generalise because not everyone is the same. The worst thing is an attitude problem. Then try to stay positive when these domestic bosses or hiring people don’t even want you in their company. Job search would be much easier if they had a heart and not only think about the money. Things were so much simpler when my parents were young. Then you could just walk into a company and ask for work. Now you have to fit in a mould to become anything. I won’t fall for that trap.

Throw a dart at empty promises

darts on board

Life is like a TV commercial, promises that are said to help you. But the truth is they’re just a shell with no substance. You should do this and you should do that and a miracle will happen. I’ve had so many disappointments in my life I just want to throw a dart at empty promises. One of the promises I dislike the most is these networking channels like LinkedIn. I’ve been there for 5 years and I only have 7 connections. I think it’s just a place where popular people get noticed. Maybe the service just isn’t for Finnish people. Our country is too small for this kind of thing. If you don’t have connections from your past, there is no use for it. Then you hear stories from people who actually have to find a job through LinkedIn and you just think who did they bribe because that person must be really lucky. It’s just too good to be true. LinkedIn in a job search is useless. I will only keep it as a memo for my past educations and work experiences to remind myself. It doesn’t matter if my CV is in this service or sending paper versions to employers. The result will still be the same, no job.

The other empty promises are education. They say it’s important because you have a better chance to find a job. That’s just BS. All these qualifications are useless. You can have hundreds of them but still, no one wants to give you a chance. The same with internships. If you get one you can get your foot between the door, you might get a job there in the future. Yeah right. All you get is a good luck and they shut the door behind you. Then when you get older, it’s even harder to get “your foot between the door” You don’t even have a look in. The the only use you have for your qualifications is keeping you sane. If I wasn’t used to being unemployed, I would be worried and feel unwanted. Lucky for me, I’m alone and I don’t have to support anyone. It’s different for those who have a family. Some of them can’t even afford food. It’s really difficult to stay motivated when there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. All these tips about how to find a job are empty promises. I’ve never got anything by chance. I’m never in the right place at the right place. There are times I just want to give up and live on well-fare the rest of my life. But I want to have meaning with my life. I want a job and not become one of those lowlives who doesn’t even bother looking for a job. But because I’m not suitable for companies images, I don’t get anything.

You shouldn’t give hope to a person who’s been disappointed so many times. Nothing is worse than empty promises. Telling them to be patient doesn’t help either. How much patience must a person have anyway? Will it take years, decades or never? Politicians are known for their empty promises but it shouldn’t happen in daily life. You learn from empty promises by not getting your hopes up. That’s probably the only good thing that comes out of it. If it’s even good. Next someone promises me something, I’m just gonna ignore them because once you lose trust, it’s hard to get it back. Sometimes it’s gone for good.