Falling in love is hard on the mind

heart on sand
Made in Canva

I’ve never actually been in love with a person and I don’t believe in love at first sight. Except for that one time but it wasn’t falling in love. It was more about liking someone at first sight. But falling in love is hard on the mind despite that. You can fall in love with other things. I, for example, fell in love with music at a young age. It started with music for children. I also learned to play different instruments in school. Like acoustic guitar and drums. I also own a few instruments. I could almost form a band. I have a fipple flute, electronic keyboard, triangle instrument and a harmonica. The last two I can play by ear but no songs that really exists. I’ve learned some easy music notes and some songs I learned by heart. But those aren’t any hits or anything. Only short songs that are easy to learn. I can play some Christmas songs like ‘Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ I used to perform at home on Christmas Eve when I was a child. A few times with my electronic keyboard and a few times on my flute. I wouldn’t perform on stage or any of that. I would probably be too nervous and forget how to play songs.

I’ve fallen in love with movies. I saw my first movie when I was 3 years old. I always stay in the end because I’ve bought a ticket and I don’t want it to go to waste. It’s not everyday I can go and see movies. The tickets cost too much these days. I really admire actors and actresses. It’s amazing how brave they are and they can play different characters. I could never do that job. Especially love scenes or nude scenes. I wouldn’t even take up roles like that. I prefer being a moviegoer. Some movies franchises I haven’t cared about but later I’ve fallen in love with them. One of them is Star Wars. I’m actually as old as the first movie. I didn’t care about them before but now I love them. Like any franchise, they come to an end. ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ is the last one and then it’s all over. But the movies live forever. People have their opinions about them but I’m not that fussy. It’s entertainment and that’s what movies is all about. Some people just take these franchises too seriously.

Then there are movies you fall in love instantly and you keep watching them over and over again. Lord of the rings is one of them. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen those. Extended versions and the commentary ones. That’s how dedicated I am. The same with The Hobbit. I don’t know what some people complain about them. Love them and I don’t care what others think. We all have different tastes and it’s a waste of energy to have a disagreement about. There are movies I don’t like that seems to be popular. Like “The fight club” I don’t like it at all. If someone does it’s alright. Who am I to judge other people’s tastes. Falling in love is hard on the mind when you hear negative comments on your favourite things but you just have to agree to disagree.

Going back to falling in love with a person. You can’t really fall in love with a person you don’t really know. I’ve never known anyone that long that I could fall in love with. I’ve felt like I was in love but it’s just the feeling. It’s hard liking someone so much who doesn’t even know you exist. There are people who I could fall in love with if I really knew them. Maybe my fantasy about them is unrealistic. They seem to be someone you could imagine to be with but maybe they wouldn’t feel the same about me. Or perhaps they’re nothing like they appear to be. It’s just cover to the public and in their personal life, they’re totally different. People have met them and they were really nice. But that’s just a fan meeting and they’re not interested in their fans romantically and the feeling is mutual. In the end, it doesn’t matter because you live in another country and you probably never meet anyway. That’s why falling in love is hard on the mind when it’s with a person you don’t know in real life. It saddens you so you try to think about something else. You can only hope that feeling goes away because it usually does. It can take years but it will go away one day. You need to concentrate on your own life and what’s close to you. Besides, being in love for real isn’t easy either but how would I know. I’ve never been in love with a person. I can love people but I’m not in love with them. There is a difference.

At the libary for once

old library entre
The entry to the library in my town. It was founded in the 1860s

I haven’t been to the library in recent years. I’ve been there but I haven’t got a library card for ages. Not until last week that is. I don’t read books that much but these days you can borrow almost anything from a library. You don’t even need to look for the books in person. You can do that online and let others find them for you. All you need is to pick them up. Of course, when you find it yourself you get the touch and see the book. Or whatever you borrow. When I was a kid I used to go to the library more often. Today I’m just lazy to go. We’ll see how things will go now when I have a library card again.

I do read books from time to time but it’s books about real life rather than fiction. I prefer borrowing books more than buying them. I would never even have time to read all those books. I haven’t even watched some of my DVD’s or Blu-rays. I could soon almost own my own library at home with all the CDs and other discs I have. I wouldn’t have a library with books. It would be about movies, TV shows and music. They say reading books is good for you but my patience is too short. I’ve tried to read ‘Lord of the rings’ a couple of times and I still haven’t finished it. It’s so much easier to watch the movie. I really admire people who read books because I’m bad at it. I’m easily distracted. The last book I read was ‘The Hobbit” I’ve already read it twice. Short books like that are easier to read. I don’t really know why I’m not into fiction books because I used to read them when I was younger. I’ve read biographies or books about photography. That kind of books keeps my interests up. Other times I do something else besides reading books.

I’m more into writing than reading. You can still develop your imagination without reading books. You read all the time. If it’s the news or insights of other people. I’ve seen a lot of movies and I also studied screenplay writing so that way I’ve also practised my imagination. I don’t understand some people complaining about movie adaptions. Like when Lord of the rings movies was out. “It’s not in the books. It’s not in the books” complains. Of course not. The movie is the imagination of the writers and the director. You can’t put everything in a movie. If it’s straight from a book, the movies will take forever. Any books. Making movies also cost money and it take times to do them as well. When you read a book, it’s from your imagination. But when it’s made into a movie, it’s someone else imagination. Of course, you can’t please everyone. If you prefer reading books to watching movies then it’s your choice.

Next time when I go to the library I will try to find a novel that I’m actually gonna finish. I’m not into books with a small font because that’s something I know I’ll never read to the end. It doesn’t matter how good it might be. Books with a small print stay in the library. What’s the point with a library card if you don’t use it, heh? So I will try to make a habit of it.

On the long run

cyclers from the back

I hate running so I would never take a marathon. But if it comes to movies, then yes I’m up for one. People who run marathons must have great willpower training for one for months. I’ve seen competitions on TV and it really takes a lot out of the runners. Us normal humans, even getting off the couch, is a challenge. Some have never exercised in their life so they can’t understand how much time and effort it takes. The runners also need to think about the heat and what to eat. If running a marathon was easy, anyone could do it.

I can have a listening to music marathon. I could listen to different music all day and not getting tired of it. At the same time, writing or doing something productive. If you run, it’s just that. When you watch a movie marathon, that’s the only thing you do. In that you need to concentrate. I love all the Lord of the rings and The Hobbit movie, extended versions. One of these days I will watch all six of them. It takes forever and the only thing that’s gonna get sore is my eyes and back. I’ve watched them separately but never together. You need time to watch something like that. That’s part of my retirement plan. If I ever get that far.

Sometimes I have writing fiction marathons. One story at the time of course. Ideas comes flooding no matter what time it is. Once you start you can’t stop. There is times I’ve haven’t slept all night because I got so much to write. I don’t want to lose the train of thought. When I got into that world in my mind, even a little distraction gets me irritated. It’s difficult to get that mood back again. That was something my mother couldn’t really understand. That’s why I’m a writer and only writer’s understand the flow you sometimes get. Having so much thoughts in your head, your hand or fingers can’t keep up. That’s kind of marathons I take part in. Running? Nah, I rather do it in my head.