There will be no white flag above my door

flags
Made in Canva. Flags made by me.

The blog title is from Dido’s song “White Flag” Like the song says, “And I won’t put my hands up and surrender” If you give in, well you give in. But giving up should not be an option. If you’re tired you should take a rest and not force yourself to do things. Yesterday I had a very tiring day after all the sneezing I had. My note kept itching and I sneezed several times all day. That is very tiring. I didn’t feel like doing anything. I was supposed to do my school assignments but I was just too tired. But then I took a rest and now I feel much better. I could just have given up and let it be the way I’ve done them so far. But I don’t want to leave them unfinished. I didn’t want to do a bad job. I’m almost finished with the assignments but I still have some writing to do. Tomorrow I might get some more ideas. This was just one example of giving up. Or the lack of it. When I study something I take it seriously. I wasn’t always like that.

When I was younger I gave up with school work because I thought it was hard. But I had to pay for that later. I’ve given up twice when it came to education. One was in photography and the other was a business school. The later was for a different reason. The photography one was something I wanted to study but it was in a place where it was quite difficult to get to. I had a great roommate but that was probably the only reason it was OK to be there. If only digital photography was more common at the time. If I had continued who knows where I would have been now. In 2009 I studied graphic design and I decided then I would not quit ever no matter what. It was a 2-year education and I did have moments where I wanted to quit. But because of the teachers and a psychologist I could talk to, I didn’t. It was quite lonely in the evening because all my classmates lived at home. Only one of them lived in the dorm but she had her own friends. The education itself was interesting but the rest was quite hard. I wasn’t really friends with my classmates. Sometimes we talked but that’s it. Most of them were smokers so I didn’t belong in that group. They were nice people but still, they had their own little world. A bit unfair if you ask me. Smokers united. Yuck.

I really haven’t quit any education after that. When you get older you’re more resilient when it comes to drawbacks. Everything can’t always be fun games. Sometimes you have to do things that you’re not comfortable with or hate doing. You should never give up on yourself even if someone else does. A lot of people will be jealous because you know what you want to do with your life. Anyone can give advice but it’s up to you if you should act on it or not. If you do everything someone else says, you will lose yourself. If they say you can’t do it, prove them wrong. If not for them, do it for yourself. No one knows you better than you. If everyone would give up, a lot of things would have been undone. You don’t have to invent something that will change the world. You should do things that make you happy. If someone tries to rush you to do things, just relax and take your time. No one should be in that kind of hurry that they can’t wait. People stress needlessly about choices they think they have to make. If it’s meant to happen it will and if not, then move on. You shouldn’t dwell on things you can’t control. Maybe it’s because of my laid-back attitude but I don’t worry too much about anything. I do obsess over things but I do it in my head. I might look calm on the outside but my mind is full of different conflicts. After I’ve been thinking through them, I move on.

Life is never easy for anyone. If you give up as soon as you hit problems, you don’t appreciate life well enough. Strong people should help the ones who aren’t but it seems people have forgotten how. There are so much greed and rudeness in the world. You don’t have to like a person but at least be nice to them. Even a fake smile is better than no smile at all. People give up too easily when it comes to meeting new people. I really dislike this first impression thing. In others words, you have to be something you’re not. If people wouldn’t wave the white flag so easily when they first meet me, I could have at least one friend outside the internet. You should get to know the person before judging them. Already having enough friends, is not a good excuse. But if they’re so set in their ways, they’re not worth having. Being alone is better than being with people who give up on you as soon as things change. Not finding friends is probably the only time I have the white flag above my door.

 

Having a blast by myself

fireworks
Made in Canva

I like doing things by myself. I don’t need a lot of people around me. In fact, other people stress me out. I like having a blast by myself. It might sound boring for some but so is partying in my opinion. I hate all the noise and talking nonsense. That’s just not my thing and it has never been. When I’m around people, waiting to go home as soon as possible is my thing. Other people expect for you to be social and if you don’t speak, they say you’re anti-social. Like that’s a bad thing. I just don’t want to waste my time on something I don’t care about or want to do. It’s better to be alone than being with the wrong people. If you want to be with someone, you’ll never get the chance to be with that person because they live in another country or they already have someone to be with. Or they won’t like you the way you like them. You just have to accept it and try to think about something else than the company of another human being. There are other things to think about.

I go to the movies by myself because then you can concentrate on the movie. Even staying there until the end credits without having that other person to get irritated. I take bike rides alone. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone to talk to but not many want to take long bike trips. I used to do that with my mother when she was still alive. But now I only go by myself. I can cycle in my own pace and stop whenever I want. It’s really relaxing to be around silence. Yesterday I took one of this trips. It wasn’t long but still. It was to an outdoor museum where they have horses and sheep. There were some people there but it was still silent. A lot of beautiful colours on the trees and blue sky with sunshine. Here are some photos.

Nature has always been one of the greatest things in Finland. When tourist wonder why we want distance they should really experience this side of our country and then they might understand why.

Taking it easy is my kind of a blast. I think better when I’m alone. I tried to write out on the balcony one of my fictions but there was too much noise from the traffic so I always write inside. If someone kept talking I couldn’t concentrate. It different when I’m listening to music. Actually, I’m even more motivated when the music blasts in the background. Or since I listen to Spotify on my laptop, at the front. Not only when I write fiction but also when I write this blog. I get more distracted if the neighbours are coming or going from their flat. Or noise from the outside. All the small sounds irritate me but not the loud ones. Except if it’s the neighbour’s loud stereos where it doesn’t sound like music at all. Or the people shouting when they talk to each other. I can listen to music quite loud but still, I can concentrate. Sometimes I’m so in my thoughts I don’t even hear it’s being loud.

For some doing things alone can be difficult but for me, it’s in my nature. I never feel totally lonely even if sometimes it can feel like that. Some have a blast with other people but I’m having a blast by myself. You don’t necessarily need big things to have a blast. If pets get excited from a toy and kids get excited about something new they’ve learned. Adults should be able to have a blast from the small things in life too.

 

It takes a lot to get things out of you

creative mess
Made in Canva

Sometimes things you do feels like psychical labour. If it’s blogging or job search. It takes a lot to get things out of you. You try to figure out what to write but nothing comes out. You stare at the white paper or screen and you get nothing. You need to write that blog post or that cover letter but you can’t find the right words. That’s what happens to me a lot. I dislike writing cover letters because I never know what to write. Blogging is easier because most of the time I know what to say.

Recently though, I noticed in the stats that my posts haven’t drawn that much traffic to this blog. Things like this shouldn’t bother me but I would be lying if it didn’t. Maybe August was just a slow month. Luckily this blog is as a hobby so I don’t have any pressure to blog. I write to write and not make a profit from it. I haven’t really had anything to write about. Maybe it’s one of those dry spells. It’s like swimming in tar. This is my 5th year in blogging and every post can’t get a lot of traffic. Stats don’t tell the whole truth either, remember that. Especially if you only write it as a hobby.

Trying to find blogging tips if you don’t want a living of it, is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. That’s almost forced labour. All you find is how to make money. Maybe one day I should write a post about blogging as a hobby. It’s just that I’m not good at giving advice. I can only give my view on it but I’m not very helpful in that field. If you really search on Google, you might find advice about hobby blogging. Blogging is not rocket science. It’s easy to start one. It’s getting readers and followers to your blog that needs work. It really depends on what kind of blog you have. For me, it took some years but I got there in the end (515 follows so far) Taking part in writing challenges is one way to get noticed. Like this, Ragtag daily prompt. It doesn’t feel like labour at all. On the contrary, it gives you more motivation to keep blogging and fun is the word that should describe it all.