Tag: my dad

An interview about me

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I thought it would be fun if you could interview yourself. Asking yourself questions you wish someone would ask, but no one ever does. This is not a selfish act like a particular American presidential candidate does *cough* Trump *cough* It’s only a bit of fun, and maybe get to know me better. The questions are from Gemini (Google AI)

Questions to Get to Know You Better

General Interest

What are you passionate about?

I’m not passionate about anything. I have opinions and things I like to do, but I wouldn’t call them passions.

What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?

I listen to all kinds of music, except music styles where they scream. My favourite band is Duran Duran and Bon Jovi. My favourite singers are Robbie Williams and Bryan Adams. If I wrote every band and singer, it would take forever to write them down. Besides Robbie, Bryan and DD, I’ve been to Pet Shop Boys and Toto concerts. That might give you a general idea of what kind of music I listened to.

Do you have any hobbies or interests?

My prominent hobby is writing this blog. But I also do photography, write fan fiction, cycle, and watch movies.

What is your favourite book or movie?

I don’t read much, but I like biographies and books about different subjects. I love movies, and I have many favourites. (FYI; When I was 10 years old, I belonged to a movie club.) I love Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. I’ve seen those movies several times on DVD. I also love The Hobbit movies, the most underrated trilogy ever.

Where would you like to travel if you could go anywhere in the world?

New Zeeland, but I probably never will. You need money to travel, and I can only afford cruises to Stockholm or Tallinn. Being unemployed sucks when it comes to money.

Personal and Background

What is your ideal day like?

I could sleep all day and stay up all night, but life is too short to do only that. It would be nice to do things I like, but you don’t get paid to do that.

What are you proud of achieving?

I might be proud of having a good upbringing and the courage to stay alive even if things weren’t always good.

What is something you’ve learned recently?

I feel that all my hard work on social media is being ignored. Maybe it’s the algorithms, or I’m not good enough to be liked for what I post there.

What’s one thing you’d like to improve about yourself?

I wish I weren’t so lazy about starting things. I also wish I could make decisions faster than I do now.

What kind of environment do you thrive in?

Where I can be alone most of the time.

Future Goals and Aspirations

What are your long-term goals?

To find peace. Since my dad died in February, I still have things to do. Some things take so long. I will sell my flat, but the cleaning and all that takes forever.

What kind of work environment do you prefer?

I need a place where I can do my work in peace. I can work if the music is on, but if someone is talking, it’s a different manner.

What motivates you in your career?

I don’t have a career. You need a job to have that.

What challenges are you excited to overcome?

Excited isn’t the word, but I was happy to finish or leave an education I didn’t like.

What do you hope to achieve in the next five years?

I don’t have a job, and it looks like I won’t either. I hope I can be an entrepreneur by then. But I haven’t even started yet, so maybe it won’t happen. If I do, I hope it succeeds fasten then in 5 years.

Deeper Questions

What makes you laugh?

Comedy. People that have a particular look on their faces in comedy shows or movies. Kelsey Grammar (Frasier) has the best one. That’s what made the show funny to this day. Also, Jim Carrey makes me laugh.

What are you grateful for in your life?

I had parents who let me be me. Without them, I’m not the person I am today. I’m also grateful for having a sister, even if I only had her for six years. Having both of my grandmothers was also a blessing. May they all rest in peace.

What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear used to be dogs, but I got over it. Now, I don’t mind if one sniffs me. I used to be terrified if they got even close. My other fear was losing my parents, but now they’re gone anyway. At least I had them around while growing up. If I lost them as a teenager, then things could be different. Death is part of life, and one day, I will be gone, too. My biggest fear is that I get cancer like my mother or I will get some other illness with lots of pain. I also fear needles. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t donate blood or get a tattoo.

What is something you’re struggling with right now?

To go to bed early and wake up early, too. I don’t have a reason to get up when I don’t have a job.

What is your life philosophy?

You get born, you live a decent life, and then you die.

THE END

A trophy for my efforts

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The reasons why I should get a trophy for my efforts.

On June 2, I turned one year older than last year. That means I’m one step closer to death, but hopefully, I won’t die in many years. I went on a cruise to Stockholm alone for the first time ever. Before, I went with my parents and on class trips. Of course, I travelled alone inside the country. This was the first time I was alone abroad. It was only a cruise, but that’s a start. I stayed on the ship for 23 hours. It was kind of lonely since Finns don’t talk to strangers. But I didn’t need to go through the hassle that I went with my dad. He always wanted to sit and drink beer. But at least then, I had company. A good thing about travelling alone is you can go as you please. If I was tired, I would go to bed. I did that without telling another person if I wanted to sit on deck and read a book. On the cruise, there were a lot of families, so there weren’t young party people. It’s calmer to be on board when there aren’t drunk people there. In general, there weren’t many people on the cruise, which was nice. You didn’t need to queue anywhere. It’s been a heatwave in Finland, so sitting on deck with the wind blowing was nice. The best part of a 23-hour cruise is the buffer and tax-free shopping. I only buy sweets/candy because I don’t like alcohol, and I don’t smoke. Unlike some people in Finland.

For some people, unemployment brings them down or being single. It brings me freedom and confidence that things will get better. The only time I get depressed is when I’m forced to do things I don’t want to do. I’m selective, and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t go for the 2nd best as Madonna sings in Express Yourself. It’s better to be alone than socialise with the wrong people. I have had enough of those when I was younger. Life is too short to have toxic people in your life.

I should get a trophy for tolerating people in the first place. I don’t need to get it from others because I can get it alone. Treat yourself with a trophy of your choice once in a while. I will award myself with sweets/candy that I bought from the cruise ship. I have always had a sweet tooth, no matter how I feel.

Hazy shades of ambivalent

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Many people don’t care about my unemployment, but I write about it anyway. It isn’t my fault no one wants to hire me. I got another rejection from a graphic design job. All those studies I had haven’t gotten me anywhere. I’m getting tired of trying to find something to apply to. I must apply for at least one monthly, or they will take my benefits away. I have ambivalent feelings about the whole job thing. I will never get experience when I can’t even get an internship. I’m getting too old for this shit. I feel like a failure when it comes to work. It’s like people think I want to be unemployed. I’m a healthy person, so that isn’t why I haven’t got a job. The only fault I have is my lack of work experience and my atopic skin, so I can’t do specific jobs. Other than that, I should get something. I only get suggestions for jobs I’m not suited for. I want to do something with graphic design and photography. But how can I get experience when I only get rejections?

I’m worried I’m not suitable for becoming an entrepreneur, either. Even if I had gone to a course about it. Getting people to notice you feels like hard work, and all that paperwork sounds overwhelming. I can’t decide what to do. I don’t have the confidence to succeed without having job experience in the field. I can hardly get any likes on my personal social media accounts. What if I don’t find clients, and if I do, how do I do things? It’s been a while since I designed anything. I try to make up fake projects, but I never have time. I have too much free time on my hands and too much sleep. If I had a good reason to wake up earlier, I would. I should get a grip on myself. I have no one who can give me a pep talk anymore. My late mother was good at that. My late dad wasn’t the same since he had other things on his mind. He had a business, so entrepreneurship should be in my blood. He made jewellery, but my field is different. My cousin has a business, and also my late grandfather, who I never met because he died when my mother was a child. A few people in my family tree were entrepreneurs, so it wouldn’t be surprising if I decided to do it, too.

If there is a positive thing about being unemployed, it is that I can do things that interest me. I can go places without having to think about whether I get off work or not. The downside is the financial side, and the other is not having human contact. Life can become one-sided if you don’t do something else for a change. I wish I wasn’t forced to apply for jobs when there is nothing suitable to apply to. There is more to life than wasting your time on writing applications. Especially when you know you won’t even get an interview. I wish I could leave this wheel of job search forever. I can either accept my current fate or do something about it.

“Why are these things never clear” Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End