My late mother loved to dance, and her aunt was a professional dancer. My late father met my mother at a dance. But me, no, I’m the one who only dances in the dark and alone. I like watching other people dance, though. I watched the Finnish version of Dancing with the Stars, which my mother also watched. I feel my feet don’t cooperate with my brain. I hated discos in school. Dancing was too embarrassing. Other people watching me feel awkward. Maybe they wouldn’t care how I dance, but I don’t want to do it in public.
We had ballroom dancing in one class in school, but even then, I didn’t dance. It isn’t my thing. It’s good exercise, but I don’t care. It isn’t my kind of fun. I once applied to dance education, but luckily, it got cancelled. I don’t know why I applied. It was one of the first education I did after compulsory school, so I had to apply for something. I couldn’t imagine being a dancer. I’m too clumsy for that. I admire people who are great dancers. People who can dance like Michael Jackson are amazing. Especially young kids. For me, it’s easier to dance in my head than for real.
I will remain the dancer in the dark, and there I should stay. I leave the dance to those who like it and can do it right. I will remain to be the viewer.
I used to fear things but became more fearless as I got older. I guess it was because my mother died and I had to be. I didn’t like to talk to strangers, so I didn’t speak to them. It wasn’t because of fear; I felt awkward and wanted to leave. Still, there are days when I don’t feel like talking to anyone, but it isn’t about fear. It’s about being an introvert. Or maybe I don’t have the courage on that day. I think before I speak. Some days, I’m fearless and have no trouble talking to a stranger. The only thing I still fear is talking on the phone. No way I want to do that. I prefer Emails. I don’t answer unknown numbers. Unless it’s essential.
I’m also fearless when I drive a car. I’ve had my driver’s license for almost 3 years and didn’t know if I dared to drive alone. My dad was always with me, but now, when I had to drive alone for a month, I realised it wasn’t that bad. I guess I’ve learned to drive the car. That’s what experience gives you. I still don’t like driving in traffic or on the highway, though. I fear I get in the way or I crash into someone. I drive my dad’s car, which is an older car, so I had to learn how to drive that; it’s only now that I have enough confidence to drive it. The car was a new model in driving school, so driving was different. Both vehicles have a stick shift, but there were 6 gears in driving school when my dad’s car had 5. Driving is fun when you’re fearless.
I can be fearless when it comes to trying new things. Like food, but I want to know what it contains. I’ve cooked new things, and some of them have been good. I have even cooked it again. My mother and I used to try different recipes. She’s the reason why I know how to cook. When you cook yourself, you know what you get. The two ingredients I dislike the most are mushrooms and broccoli. I’m not so fond of cheese either, but in certain foods, it’s alright. I can’t stand it when they put mushrooms in many things. If there are, I take them out. I’m not that fearless that I eat anything.
Being fearless doesn’t mean parachute jumping or rock climbing. It can also be mentally fearless or being fearless in everyday situations. It can be a temporary feeling that might come back, or it may not. We’re all different and see the word differently. That’s something we have to appreciate in other people. You shouldn’t understate opinions about what the words mean to them. You can agree to disagree, but it’s pointless to argue about it. No one should be that fearless to hurt feelings.
I was always good at sports in school. My favourite was Finnish baseball (pesäpallo). It’s almost like baseball but doesn’t have a pitcher in the middle. I can’t explain it, so go and look at what it is. The other sport I liked was ice skating, but I haven’t done it in 30 years or so. I also did slalom skiing, but the same with that. The last time I did it was in 2011, but my mother got sick in 2012, and we didn’t do it anymore. I still have the gear but don’t know if I will ski again. I started to ski when I was 6 years old. We went to Lapland once a year to ski for a week. We had a cabin that my dad owned with some of his friends. When he sold his part of it, we went to a hotel. We went to Lapland for at least 30 years. It took about 13 hours to drive to the North of Finland. We won’t do it again because it’s tiring and stressful. Those were good times, though.
Now I only watch sports on television. My favourite sport is ice hockey. I’ve been to my local team’s games several times. Sometimes, they show their matches on the free channels, but I mostly listen to the games on the radio because if you want to watch ice hockey, you have to pay for them. Fortunately, it’s free to watch when Finland plays in the world championships and other international tournaments. I only follow the Finnish ice hockey league, so no NHL for me. Unless they show games with Finnish players. Watching ice hockey on site has a unique atmosphere. It feels like you’re with people with the same piece of mind. In Finland, there could be more noise in the ice rink, like in the NHL, but the fans are the only ones keeping the noise here. Without them, the rink would be quiet. But still, the atmosphere is different when you watch it at home. Watching sports on-site isn’t cheap, so all you can do is watch on television. But that’s better than no sport at all.
It is difficult to think what life would be like if there weren’t sports to watch. I also like to watch sports with excitement. I used to watch Formula One, but it has become boring. Consistently, the same teams and the same drivers win. All of my favourite drivers have retired, too. They also don’t show the races for free anymore. It has been like that for at least 10 years. My life used to surround it. I couldn’t do or go anywhere when there was a race weekend. When all of that stopped, I felt a relief. So, in a way, they did me a favour: the TV people and the people who make the rules in F1. I was free of all the restrictions that the sport had on my free time. I still plan my weekends on what sports are being shown on TV, but it doesn’t matter if I miss an event or don’t see it from the start. Watching motorsport like F1, you need to see the beginning because that’s the most exciting part. Some say motorsport is not a sport, but they don’t know how much the drivers do training during the off-season and how much strength they need to make it through the races. Not just anybody can fit into those cars. Unfortunately, with all those technical things those cars have these days, you don’t know who is the best driver.
If the question is, what is more interesting, summer or winter sport? I would say winter sports because there is more to choose from. But I also watch summer sports when Finns are competing. The Summer Olympics in Paris is this summer, so I’ll be watching some of that. Athletics mainly, but maybe something else. As long as it’s Finnish athletes. Supporting your country is the best thing about sports. Perhaps they don’t fight for the medals, but all the emotions that come with it are essential. Without sports, life would be dull. I’m glad I found the love for it. I wasn’t a big fan of sports the way I am today when I was younger. I watched some of it as a child, but that was only because my dad watched it. Now I think I know more about sports than he does. Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I don’t understand sports. A lot of females follow sports and know what it’s all about. It’s like anything in life; studying the subject lets you learn about things. It doesn’t matter what gender or sexuality you are. Sport is for everyone who likes it. You don’t need to understand it, but it helps. I’m tired of hearing some people think girls only watch sports because of the good looks of an athlete. There are those, too, but don’t fall for that stereotype nonsense. You’ll be surprised how much women know about sport. Even more than some men do.
I love watching sports; the only sport I do today is cycling. Everybody needs a hobby they like, and those are mine.
In my world 