Bloganuary: I wanna be loved by you

rock giving a heart to another smaller rock
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Bloganuary 2024

The words, I love you, have never been used in my home. But caring about one another is love, too. You don’t need to say those words. Showing that you care is love, which is more important. If you love me, show me how I say.

I feel love when someone shows they care. My parents have shown me they do. Especially my mother. She was also dedicated to how I did in school and kept in touch with my teachers. She always worried about me. Sometimes, it was a little too much for my liking. Even when she was sick, she still worried about how I would manage. I knew she meant well, even if it sometimes agitated me. Now, there are times I wish she was still alive. I wouldn’t need to meet all the problems that might be ahead with my father. Honestly, I’ve felt a little lost after she passed away. She knew about things my father didn’t, so I could ask her for advice. My father always thought about his work, so my mother was the caretaker. This wasn’t a positive example because it also brought sadness.

If I could hatch again from the eggshell of life, I wish I could have the same family without illnesses and deaths. My big sister was a significant part of my life. It was short, but I felt loved by her. She was excited when I was born. I was only 6 when she died, so I don’t have many memories of her besides the photos and videos of her. Sometimes, I think about how things would be if she were still alive. Losing a family member at an early age changes a person. Thinking about the positive memories makes it feel better.

sisters
Me and my big sister, Nina

The closest people in your life make you feel loved. When the world gets cold, your family is the one to count on. They don’t need to say they love you because those are only words. Showing them how is the key to one’s life.

Bloganuary: The present is here

thoughts
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Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

Bloganuary 2024

I’ve learned through the years that thinking about the present is better than thinking about the future. Maybe about the near future, but that’s about it. Things change, so I don’t want to plan far ahead. You won’t be too disappointed if you live in the present. Sometimes I think about the past. Sometimes, you should think about where you have been.

Sometimes, I dream about people that I used to know. I see dreams about my mother where she is alive, but I never talk or see her. It’s been 10 years since she died, but she still appears in my dreams. There are days when I think about how things were in the past. Things were different then, so I like returning to those days. Only the good memories, though. Bad memories only appear when something comes up in the present. Maybe not about my life, but other people’s similar experiences. As I said at the beginning of this post, I only think about the near future, like next week or a couple of days. No time like the present.

To be more vivid everyday

two vivid parrots
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What do you wish you could do more every day?

Daily Prompt

I have a vivid imagination when it comes to thinking about things. But if I have to write it down, it’s more complicated. It’s easier to live in your head than in real life. I wish I could be more vivid in everyday life. I wish I could get up earlier in the morning. My late mother used to say you have time to do much more during the day if you get up earlier. The problem is that I get to bed late at night. I only get up early twice a month when I travel to Helsinki for the filmmaking course. If I had a job and a reason to get up early, that would be different.

I wish I could be more excited to do made-up design projects to fill my portfolio. But my mind isn’t that vivid for that kind of stuff. It’s challenging to get ideas on your own. No one is there to tell you what you should do. There are websites where you can find made-up projects, but who has the time. I still wouldn’t have any good ideas. I try to practise Adobe programs every day. Especially Illustrator, but I wish I could stick to it too. Other things distract me, though.