Tag: NaBloPoMo15

NaBloPoMo15: Introverts and photography

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©Mia Salminen

When I thought about what to write in day 4 of NaBloPoMo, I had nada. Nothing. I’ve written daily before but today it struggled a bit. After surfing the net about other things, I found this blog post about photography and introverts. I thought about myself. It’s exactly like that.

Sometimes I wonder, if photography really is my thing when it come to careers. Like I wrote yesterday (btw, thanks for the likes 🙂 ) I’m an introvert and things are not easy. For starter when I photograph, I usually do it when no one is looking. It’s like I’m ashamed. A lot of other people photograph and they don’t try to hide it. What’s even worse is when you have an assignment to ask people if they could be photographed, I just can’t do it. That’s one of the reason I don’t like taking photos of strangers.

When Princess Victoria of Sweden visited the country in 2011. There was a moment when she stopped where me and mum stood. I was too nervous to take photos. But then again she suddenly appeared quite close so I didn’t have time to react. At least I got one decent one.

Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011
Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011

That’s what I lacked, confidence and boldness. I guess you learn from practise. If I only bothered practising that is. You only become better if you do.

But is it really worth trying if you don’t know of you get better. Even if I know the basics, it just doesn’t stick in my head. Chosing the exposure or shutter speed is a nightmare to me. I get frustrated when I don’t get the result I want. Maybe I’m just not made for becoming a pro. Posting your photos on a blog is a different thing than photographing for a living. It seems to be so much work to get yourself out there. Even if other introverts have made it in the world, doesn’t mean everybody does. As a photographer, you have to stand out but how, that’s another matter.

I’m not only an introvert but also shy and lack of ambitions. That’s the difference between me and that article I mentioned. You hear or read, you can become anything you want as long as you work hard. The only time I worked hard was mental work. It’s not that I haven’t had support. My parents were really good at that. But somehow I’ve just been too sensitive. I just haven’t had the courage to do anything special. I know I can do things but I just don’t know how to do it.

I sound like a jumbled mess in person, but get me in front of a keyboard and my thoughts flow in a far more structured manner. – Alethia Rains

Exactly my thoughts. With that, thank you. Over and out.

NaBloPoMo15: When I grow up

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I did not want to have the same job as my parents did. I’ve always known that. My mother (who passed away 2 years ago this December) were a department secretary. She worked in different places, like hospitals. She did a lot of office work. That’s something I couldn’t do. Maybe for a while but that has never been my agenda.

My father is a goldsmith and he’s got an own business. Making jewelry is kind of dirty job. Even though I’m good in handiwork, it’s not my thing. I’ve helped him in his work shop and I’ve seen how it’s done. There’s a machines and stuff which makes me a bit scared. The workshop gets really dirty and I can’t work in a place like that because I have a sensitive skin.

I’ve always been indecisive when it comes to jobs. I knew what I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to have a “normal” job. I wanted a job that were versatile and where I could express myself. That’s the reason I still haven’t found my calling. I’ve thought too much about what I wanted to do. Nothing has really excited me when it comes to jobs. I had ideas but they haven’t stayed long. I’ve studied different kind of things. Including journalism but that wasn’t for me. One time I thought how cool it would be to interview and meet famous people. I realised in that school that I can’t listen and write at the same time. I also wasn’t very good at writing articles and whatever journalist do.

The only thing that has stayed in my mind the longest, is photography. I went to a photography school in 2001 but I quit because it wasn’t something I wanted to do at the time. I also didn’t understand the developing of the films. If  digital cameras only were more common then maybe things would be different now. I took up photography again a few years later. Even more when I bought a DSLR camera in 2008. I wanted to become a Formula 1 photographer but I think that was only because of a driver I liked. I realised that will never happen anyway. Just too much work.

Recently I’ve thought about if I really got what it takes to become a pro. Maybe it’s an unrealistic dream. I don’t even photograph all the time. During the photography degree course in Helsinki Design School, my motivation dropped. Even though I learned new things there, I still feel indecisive if I really want to do photography after all. There’s not many jobs over here either. Which makes it even harder to keep up the motivation. You really need to stand out to sell your photos and I don’t think I’m not that good. Maybe I should choose an easier profession. But something I already know something about.

One thing’s for sure, I never wanted to do what my parents did. I’m a Gemini and I get bored easily. To keep my motivation up, I need changes and something to look forward. I just gets lazy and don’t feel like doing anything if I don’t. But I’m also an introvert which makes this profession choice even harder. If famous introverts can do it (like J.K. Rowling) then so can I.

(Day 3 of NaBloPoMo)

NaBloPoMo15: Dream jobs as a child

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When you’re a child you have these dreams about what you want to be when you grow up. Maybe some does make those dreams come true. Someone wants to become a doctor or a police man. They already know what they want to be at a very young age. Others only have dreams what they want to become but when they get older, they got other interests.

I’ve had dreams what kind a job I wanted to do. When I was 6 I wanted to become a baker. I helped mother in the kitchen. We made gingerbread at Christmas. Then there were times when we made buns or cookies. Just baking in general was fun. But when I got older, it wasn’t much fun anymore. Not to mention early mornings. I’m definitely not a morning person. Bakers needs to get up early and baking in general is too much work. Baking once in a while is nice but to do it as a living is not.

Once I had a small thought about owning a candy store. Eat candy all day. But it’s nothing like that. You are supposed to sell them to other people, not eat them yourself 😀 That was just a thought. But a nice one. I don’t think there are many candy stores anymore. At least not here. People rather buy candy from grocery stores and other stores.

When I became a teenager, I wanted to become a singer. We used to sing at home a lot when I was a  child. I thought I was good. When I listened to old tapes, I realised I didn’t. At least not as good as a singer should be. I’ve always sing along to tunes but that’s as far it goes. I’m not that much into performing either. Even though I’ve been on stage in school plays and such.

When it comes today, I still don’t know what I want to be. But that’s another story for another day.

(Day 2 of NaBloPoMo)