On Wednesday I went to a job fair. I went to listen to a few speeches and nothing else. One was about why there aren’t many females in ‘Information technology’ and the other was about knowing the right people. The rest of the speeches isn’t relevant to this post. What they had in common was networking. In my opinion, networking is just another word for decorated. You have to be “colourful” and be ready to come out of your shell. In other words, be something you’re not. They say you should be yourself but not exactly yourself. This is very difficult for a shy or introverted person. Especially when you should promote yourself about the things you’re good at. Especially females have this problem. We are too modest about our skills. Not everyone can do everything. Life is a learning process and things you can’t do, you can learn.
I don’t like networking and I wish there was a way to avoid human contact altogether when it comes to that. I also don’t like places with a lot of people gathering around in small spaces. I don’t like pretending I’m outgoing when I’m not. I didn’t talk to anyone at the job fair. Except when I met one of the speakers who’s a Finnish celebrity who works on TV. I wasn’t nervous at all when I met him. I wish I could walk to another stranger to introduce myself that easily. When I went to a job interview on Tuesday I wasn’t nervous either. But I never know what to say so I give short answers. Which is probably one of the reasons I don’t get anything. I also don’t know what to say what skills I have. At least not what could be useful in the job market. I can do a lot of different things but I’m not good at either of them. I’m just average.
In one of the speeches, it was said the worse thing that can happen is a no. But I’m not afraid of that because I’m used to it. The worse thing is when you think you hear a yes but then they change their minds. Or you have so much hope but then it’s smashed to pieces one way or another. Then you think why bother when you get nothing in return. That’s what networking is, disappointments and decorated shallowness. The only person who can succeed is someone who knows how to represent themselves. For other’s, it’s much harder. It’s quite sad how job search is more of a circus these days. It’s not only what you can do, but it’s also about what you could do for them. It’s not real, it’s a decoration and people don’t want to or can’t do anything to change that.
Life is a precious thing and we should all enjoy it as much as we can. We all want something to live for. No matter how we try to clutch to life, there’s always something in the way of our happiness. If it’s another person or the government. There will always be someone who doesn’t appreciate you and try to stop you from trying. We should believe in our own abilities and it doesn’t matter what others think. You can’t please everybody. The most important people are the ones who believe in you and support your decisions. Some people are jealous of others but it shouldn’t stop you from doing things.
I’m still looking for a clutch. I know what I want to do which has taken me years to find. But the problem has been where to find it. I’ve lost my grip on my dreams but I’ve found new ones. I could do so much more if I didn’t have to do things alone. I went to a recruiting event on Tuesday and there was a lecture about personal branding. The man who had it said he wasn’t great at anything but good in a lot of things. That made me feel better about myself because that’s like me.
One of the subjects was also about networking. If there’s something that I should improve is that one. But as an introvert, this is very difficult. Especially when I have trouble approaching strangers. Places like LinkedIn doesn’t help me since I don’t have any former colleagues or friends. The same with Twitter. I’ve only used it for fun. It feels it will take forever before I get anywhere.
I don’t want to get stuck in one place when it comes to working. Projects is totally fine by me. I want to do different things. Working for a company you need experience and I don’t have enough in my line of work. Where should I get experience when you can’t find any work? Voluntary work is one but then you never know if the benefits are taken away. Being unemployed sucks. You want to do things but not everything is possible because there’s always something or someone that holds you back. The clutch shouldn’t be too tight. I need air to breathe. I’ve got stuck in my ways and soon I won’t be able to move. I don’t do new years resolutions but I could try to get out of my comfort zone next year. I did it when I went to see Robbie Williams in concert this summer. I wouldn’t have done so when I was younger. The same with the recruiting event. What I fear the most is a cage where I can’t get out. The cage is the sheltered life I live in now. If a man born without limbs can make something of himself, then anyone can.