Living in a cocoon until regret hits

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Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had.
What would you do differently?

Daily Prompt

I have lived in a cocoon, and there are things I regret. I wish I could have said something to those morons in school that treated me like I wasn’t there. Especially one of them. I don’t know what her problem was. Maybe she thought she was something special. At least I wasn’t bullied as bad as some people are. Some adults have been bullied, so their whole life is spoiled. I was glad I had never had to meet them again. You shouldn’t have people around who don’t appreciate you. The decisions I have made in life have nothing with them. If they thought they would break me, they were wrong. It only made me stronger. What happened then is only pathetic on their part. It was all so silly. They were cowards too. They never dared to say anything to my face. I wouldn’t recognise them on the street anymore. I don’t even remember some of my former classmates’ names. I have met many people, so how can anyone remember someone you knew over 30 years ago. They don’t matter anymore.

I’ve had a lot of times when I didn’t take action when I should have. I don’t know if I regret certain decisions I made in the past. I know I’ve learned something, at least. There have been education that didn’t get me anywhere, even if people said it would help to get a job. Well, it hasn’t, or I would have had more job experience than I have now. I wish I would have tried any job, but I wanted to discover what I wanted to be through education. I see; now they don’t matter. It’s job experience. Sometimes it feels like I’ve wasted my life, and now I’m getting older. I should have at least 20 years of working life left, but I will become a poor pensioner at this rate. I don’t collect pensions because I don’t work. It isn’t even my fault. Some people don’t want to work, but I do. No one wants to hire me, but it’s their problem, not mine. Maybe I chose the wrong profession or something. There aren’t many jobs in the graphic design field. Unless you’re super talented and have job experience. It can be a little frustrating when you finally know what kind of job you like and can’t find anything to apply to. They look for people with job experience and someone for the future. Not someone in their 40s with no experience in the field. Employers never seem to look for workers, either. Job search has gotten so strange these days. No wonder some people don’t want to be in that game. It is one. The only ones that win are the lucky ones.

Living in a cocoon feels safer when you’re not a risk-taker. You can’t regret the things you did in the past because you can’t change that. But you can change what you do for the future. There will be times when you want to take action, but you can’t because that might make you feel unsafe. I live for today, and if it’s in a cocoon, let so be it. I’m not the one who thinks if you don’t do certain things, you will regret the rest of your life. Some things aren’t meant to be, and you have to accept that.

This post has no anachronism in it

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This post has no anachronism in it because I’m a modern person. I don’t know if I understood the word right, though. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t the movies ‘Back to the future’ and ‘Kate and Leopold‘ about that? There are characters in them that come from different times. Anyway, I belong in this time, but I yet don’t belong. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one with sense. I always thought I was a misfit. I wasn’t a typical teenager. I liked staying at home. I didn’t want to spend time in a youth centre or hang around in shopping centres. I didn’t need to be there. People who don’t like staying home must have a reason for not wanting to be there. I have never had that problem. I have never understood getting drunk. I don’t even like alcohol and not forgetting throwing up. It’s ridiculous to drink so much you can barely walk. It’s embarrassing to watch. Drunk people are boring too. Trying to get a decent conversation with people like that.

I was born at the right time. At least, that’s what I thought when I was younger. I’m not sure now. Sometimes I wish I could be younger, and sometimes older. I’m lucky to have experienced the world without computers and with computers. Kids today have no idea how things were in the past. Certain things were better then. We weren’t occupied with mobiles. You talked to people face to face. Parents trusted their kids. Even the music was better than it is today. Young people had respect for older people. Now parents are lost on how to raise their kids. Mental issues have increased, and so on. The list is endless.

The good thing about the present is that things are more accessible. You can buy food without leaving your home. You can use different apps to do many things without queueing anywhere. I’m glad I am the age I am right now. For example, I’m not a novice when it comes to technology. Many seniors have trouble with that. Certain things are complicated for many different ages, like a job search. It has become a sci-fi project where you need to be perfect. People tell you how to answer questions in a job interview; if you answer incorrectly, you won’t get the job. Why are things made so complicated? It’s a competition where only the pretty and lucky ones get anything. Modern technology is one of the reasons to blame for the world’s problems.

It’s good that I’m not a kid or a teenager. They need to see fake photos on social media, and they compare themselves to that. If you get bullied in school, they will also bully you online. There are a lot of expectations from other people. I don’t envy them. A lot of things seem to end up on social media. When I was young, we didn’t need computers and mobiles to feel alive. We lived for real then, and no one bothered what you did in your private life. There was pressure from other people, but they were people you knew. No stranger told you what to do and what to look like. The internet has made life easier, but it has also given more problems. But you can never go back, so you must live with what you have. You should think about the positive side of it all. That’s how you go by.

Delete, rewrite and repeat

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Things don’t always go the way you planned them. If it’s career choices or writing stories. It’s delete, rewrite and repeat. With a pencil and a computer, you can erase them. But with life, you can only move on and not think about what you didn’t do in the past. You have regrets, but it’s too late to delete them. If you get stuck in the past, you won’t grow as a person.

I could have done things differently when I was younger. I shouldn’t have been so careful. My resume would have looked different if I had been in a summer job as a teenager. But I wanted to have a summer break because schoolwork was hard enough. I applied for a summer job once, but I didn’t get one. The positions were drawn, so only the lucky ones got them. I didn’t try again. I helped my dad in his business, but that wasn’t a job that I could put on a resume. You can’t go back and change the past, and I wish employers would understand that too. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I studied different things. Some find their niche by working, but I did it through studying. A shame it’s only job experiences that count.

It’s OK to delete things because you can rewrite them again. You learn new things, and you won’t be the same person when you were younger. Hopefully, you will become smarter and don’t repeat the mistakes you made in the past. It doesn’t need to be a mistake. It might be something you would do differently. Either way, regrets don’t get you anywhere. The future counts, and that’s what you shouldn’t delete.