Tag: personal

teach cubes on table

Teach me until I’m impeccable

MiaLeave a comment

No one is impeccable and no one can teach you to be it. But you can be as impeccable as you can in your own mind. Humans are supposed to have faults. Even people who seem impeccable are not. You have to know them in person to know how they’re like. Some people think they’re above everyone and they’re the only ones who have the right to be on this planet. It’s useless to compete with people like that. You should use your energy to more useful things than trying to please other people. I’ve known people personally who thought they’re better but for real they’re were only showing their own faults. You don’t need people in your life that only wants to bring you down. It’s a cliché but life is short. There should not be toxic people in anyone’s life. What you don’t know you can learn.

There can be people who might not like what I write or they don’t agree. If it’s blogging or writing fiction. But you can’t please everyone. The same goes with other things. I wish someone could teach me drawing for example. I used to do it when I was a kid but then later not so much. I think I got some kind of resentment towards drawing when in 6th grade we had a group assignment where we would draw a character and it was totally ignored from my schoolmates. I’ve thought I couldn’t draw at all so I didn’t. Even when I studied graphic design in 2009-2011, I didn’t like it at all. My teacher said that I was afraid of drawing but in my opinion, it was because of what happened in the early years. It felt I would be judged for not knowing how to draw. But then when I studied graphic design again last year, the teacher we had said, anyone can draw and it’s about finding your own style (is ugly a style, I wonder). We also learned how to find inspiration and how to brainstorm ideas. I’m never gonna be impeccable in drawing and I’m not planning to become an illustrator but I wish I was more comfortable with it. You can only learn if you practice but it’s hard to when you don’t have the confidence to do it.

The only creative thing I have absolute confidence in is writing. It’s such a natural thing for me. I have no problems commentating online either. Someone is shy to interact on the internet so they don’t activate themselves that much. Sometimes you just wanna observe things. Some don’t have the urge to express their opinions online. For me, it’s easier to express myself by writing. Especially in English. It’s actually more natural for me than writing in my own language. Besides, certain words sound better in English than in Finnish, for example. Of course, since this blog is in English I write it in that language. Practise (practice) makes you impeccable. Or as impeccable as possible. I got an ‘A’ in English in school in my primary school leaving certificate and my English has improved so much after that. And I’m still learning. If I only would feel as confident in other things than I am in English.

Graphic design is something I would want to get better at. Maybe the most cynical would think, this person hasn’t done much graphic design so how can they call themselves a graphic designer. Or think I’m not good enough to be that and that I should do something else. Or I don’t if anyone would think that. It was just an example. I’m just too critical about myself. Design educations have taught me all I need to know so I don’t need to go to school again. I rather spend money on something else. In schools, they teach you the basics and I don’t need a repeat in that. There is also a lot of information online where you can self-study. There are schools where they offer Bachelor’s degrees in graphic design (also in Helsinki Design School) but why should I go. I already have degrees in graphic design. Maybe if you don’t have a talent you need to have a fancy degree. I know graphic designers who don’t have a bachelor’s degree but still have a career. In the end, it’s the job experience that counts and not what kind of degree you have. It’s not like graphic design is operating on humans. Creating something isn’t super science. The most difficult thing is to know what kind of design you want to master.

I would rather learn things good than become impeccable because if you’re already there, there is nothing new to learn. You can teach yourself things you’re interested in. It’s more fun that way.

Finally orchestrated what I want

Mia1 Comment
Made in Canva

Finding something that satisfies you the most can be difficult. Especially when you’re young and need to decide what you want to do with your life. You think you have to decide there and then what you want to do for the rest of your life. But it’s not that easy. You can’t decide on your whole life. It changes and your opinions changes. You’re allowed to change your mind. What you thought as a teen doesn’t necessarily apply when you’re an adult. It shouldn’t even be like that. You should grow and move on. Experiences change you. People change you. You should become wiser as you get older. Maybe still make the same mistakes because in certain things you never learn. When you finally orchestrate what you want, you feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

It took me years to discover what I wanted to do in life. I tried to study different things but I didn’t find anything that I would feel passionate about. Nothing seemed to feel right. I was so concentrated on what job I wanted to do so I missed out on other things. You can’t really miss anything that you never had though. I was independent and I didn’t need anyone else. My priorities were elsewhere so I didn’t think much about it. I’m also very hard to please in certain things but that will remain private. I didn’t want a so-called normal job. I wasn’t looking for a miracle either. If you want things done, you need to do them on your own terms. I was lucky to have parents who supported me to choose what profession I wanted. Some parents might push their kids to the limits and that can cause other problems later on. I was free to do what felt most natural. My parents knew I couldn’t be told what to do so they didn’t force me to. I’m still like that. Apparently, before I learned to walk, they wondered when do I actually start to do that. I crawled a lot and one day I just stood up and started walking. That’s a story my dad told me. Maybe I was just careful or I was afraid to start walking. It could also be because I didn’t want to get rushed. I wanted to do it in my own time and that’s how my life has been. I don’t like rushing things because then the quality won’t be good. In that sense, I’m a perfectionist. In certain other things, I’m not that fussy.

When I finally find that thing I want to do, I don’t get to do them. That’s graphic design. At my current job (which I’m temporarily laid off from) I don’t get to do much design. I was only there for two weeks until this coronavirus came. The job is mostly internal and external communication. Now when I have free time I could practice the programs but now I think about something else instead. I don’t even think I’m good enough to be a graphic designer but I still want to do it. I’ve thought about the web design but that seems too much work. I can hardly update my own website. I would like graphic design to be the main thing. When my current job contract ends I wish I didn’t need to look for a job in the open market. Maybe this break from the job is a sign for me to start something on my own. The time is probably not right now because businesses are in trouble and it’s harder to find clients. This would be a good time to at least think what kind of services I should have. I’m just glad I don’t have to think about what to do in life anymore. Finally orchestrated what I want and that is a relief.

Perspicacity is out of focus

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Perspicacity is out of focus

There are a time and place for everything. It’s time to play and there is time to work. But I don’t do any of that. OK, maybe play but not work. I’m not gonna write about that thing that is out there right now. I don’t know how to use the word perspicacity in a sentence. But life is a learning curve and maybe someone with English as their first language can correct me at some point. This post has no perspective whatsoever. I don’t know why I even write anything. But I got a lot of time on my hands because my workplace is still closed. I wouldn’t be there now anyway because it’s only part-time. Grin emoji here. My Easter holiday would be starting today but now it’s at least one more month. Maybe even longer. My job contract will be very short but no can do.

I use blocks now on WordPress because it’s quite handy. I especially like how much easier it is to put links to open to a new tab. Before I had to click here and then there which was time-consuming. I won’t go into more detail because this is not a tutorial. I hope you understand what I mean. If you’re used blocks that is. Or you may not. I don’t know how other people handle things. I still use the Classic Editor though. When I don’t need anything fancy. The block editor is useful when you want to have, well blocks. I’m also getting the hang of how the blocks work. Maybe because we use that at work so I need to learn it. Speaking of getting the hang of it.

I also start to get hang of using Mac. I’ve used it before but not as much as I did with Windows. It’s a bummer that the Office programs are not on this Mac so I have to use it on my other laptop. It’s a shame you have to download it from the internet and pay for it yet again. It was easier when you got it on a CD. It’s not even called Office anymore. The first time I used Mac it was called Macintosh and it was when I was on 7th or 8th grade. It looked much different then. Next time I used a Mac was in 2011 when I was on the job learning in my local newspaper. Mac and PC look different in graphics. Like the time can be seen up on the screen on Mac when in PC it was down on the right. At first, I kept looking down on the time when it was actually up on the right. I got a Mac because I wanted a change and I’m not a big fan of Windows 10. I haven’t regretted the change one bit. Except for that damn Word that isn’t there so I can’t write my fiction on this laptop.

Are you still up? Continuing with the perspicacity or the lack of it. There are so many different things on this blog post so it’s not interesting to everyone. You could say this is free writing but that’s not the curve I’m looking for. If it was it would be even more out of focus than it is now. I don’t know about you but sometimes I get fiction ideas during my night sleep. Which is the reason why it takes longer for me to fall asleep. Some people have trouble sleeping because they worry but for me, it’s the stories in my head. I sleep but I’m still awake. Well, my brain is. When I finally fall into a deep sleep it’s early morning and then I sleep until noon or longer. The next night can be the same. It’s a price to pay when you’re a writer. You can’t choose the time when inspiration comes. Coming up with a story is one thing and the other are names and titles. Internet is a good place to find answers to this. I don’t want to use the same character names in my stories. I mostly use first names only but somethings last names too. Maybe titles are the most difficult things to come up with. I have this story but I don’t know what to call it and it’s frustrating. But it will come up when I start writing on it. Now the story is only in my head. Maybe I only write it for myself and if I continue or think it’s worth posting online I will do so. Like I mentioned earlier in this post. I’ve got a lot of time on my hands so I have time to think it over.

So this curve and perspicacity has not ended on this blog post so thank you for reading (or just looking at the photo above 😁)