Tag: pets

Bloganuary: Conquered my biggest fear

Mia2 Comments
no more fear
Photo: Free WP photos

My biggest fear was dogs. I was chased by one when I was 6 years old. I was walking in the park with my mother when I started to run down the hill. Then a woman had her dog running free, and the dog began to chase me. I have never run so fast in my life. After that, whenever I saw a free dog, my legs started shaking, and my heart started beating fast. I avoided every opportunity where there was a dog. Even if they were on a leach, I was terrified. I couldn’t go to friends who had dogs. I was also scared of other animals. But for some reason, bunnies didn’t have the same effect. One friend had a cat, so they had to put it in another room when I visited. I told people I didn’t like pets, but I was scared of them. I didn’t dare to tell anyone because I thought they would let their pets attack me out of spite. Every time a dog approached me, my legs shook. Fear limits your life, and I thought I never get over it.

But I don’t know what happened years later. I didn’t do anything. My fear of dogs disappeared when I became an adult. I was over 30 or something. Suddenly, my legs weren’t shaking, and my heart was calm. If a dog smelled me, I wasn’t scared. I still don’t touch them, but I have conquered my biggest fear. It’s liberating and feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I don’t need to avoid dogs. I can visit a person with one without any fear. I fear other things (like needles) but it isn’t as bad as the one I had towards dogs. They are pretty lame compared to that one. Some fears disappear in time without reason, and some you need to face. Conquering fear is an achievement in itself, and it’s something to be proud of.

An open letter to the dog that chased me

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This dog has nothing to do with it

I was 6 years old. I was taking a walk in the park with my mum. There was this small downhill. We were walking down and I started to run. What I didn’t know was, that there was this women with her little dog. That was you. She kept you running free. As a 6-year old, you don’t see what’s coming next. I was just running down the hill when you decided to run after me. Maybe it was just a game for you but for me, it was a fear for my life. It changed me forever. It used to be me that ran after dogs when I was younger, until you came a long. I was scared every time I saw one of your kind. My legs were shaking and my heart pounding faster when I saw dogs running free. It wasn’t just dogs I became scared off but other pets as well. Especially cats. The only animal I wasn’t scared of were bunnies.

My friend had a cat and when I came to visit, they had to put it in another room. I never told anyone I was scared so I just told them I didn’t like animals. I couldn’t even go to kids parties incase they had a cat or a dog. The reason I didn’t tell people, was the fear of them letting their dogs attack me just to make fun of me. Now when I think about it, maybe they wouldn’t have been that cruel. I was just embarrassed to be scared of something that was silly to them. For me it was real fear.

I don’t blame you though. You were just a dog that didn’t understand you did anything wrong. It’s your masters fault. It was her that should have kept you on a leash. It wasn’t a park for dogs. It was her job to keep you in control. It was she that should have command you to come to her. She was your master and she did a bad job. Maybe she was like you, didn’t understand what was happening. But how could anyone know that chase would have affected a 6-year old so deeply. All I did was just running down that hill.

So that you won’t feel so bad about it. When I became an adult, that fear disappeared. I still feel a little shaky if I see a free dog coming towards me. I don’t think I will never get used to dogs but I feel much safer when they are on a leash. They can even come close and it wouldn’t scare me. I do trust dogs but what I don’t trust, are the people ownners. There are dog people who doesn’t seem to understand that their pet can still be dangerous no matter how nice they seem to be. They still have that animal instinct after all.

There is a saying “face your fear” and I think I’ve just done that. Even if I’m not scared the way I used to, it won’t make me want a dog. But that has nothing to do with you.