It snowed in Helsinki and it snows here too. Snow makes Autumn less grey. Love it. I’m like a kid in a candy shop.
Tag: photography
“They never had any adventures or did anything unexpected”
I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the butterfly effect. I didn’t even know what it was until now. I’m a bit like a hobbit (minus the hairy feet) I’ve never had any adventures nor anything unexpected has happened. At least not anything good. I don’t know if things happens for a reason. Maybe they do.
In which case, you were also meant to have it.
And that is an encouraging thought.
– Gandalf in Lord of the rings
Maybe there was a reason why my sister or my mother died so early. Thinking like that makes it easier to move on. My mother’s death was the hardest thing since I remember it. When my sister died, I was so young. Maybe it was better she died then and not when she became an adult. Then again if she still lived today, my mother’s death wouldn’t have hit so hard. Whatever has happened in the past, maybe it’s God’s way to say, “here’s to another beginning”
That’s one of the reasons I applied to Helsinki Design School to study photography. I wanted a new beginning. Only time will tell if it is worth it. Maybe that’s a butterfly effect. If I didn’t apply to this school, maybe I still would just stay where I am. All those years when I studied different things and wondering what I want to do. I even studied photography before but at the time it didn’t feel right. Maybe those efforts will finally pay off. No one knows what kind of people I’ll meet or places I’ll see.
I just have to be more outgoing, even if it’s not in my nature. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t had enough of courage to do things. Hearing class mates telling about themselves, made me realise how much they’ve already experienced. And most of them are younger than me.
If I didn’t go to this school, I would still think there are no jobs in photography. The teacher we had last time, told us there are. Without that encouragement I would have lost hope.
You should never compare yourself with others. Not everyone needs to go the same path. It’s never too late to experience new things. Age shouldn’t be in the way. I used to think when I get to a certain age, things would change for the worse. Even my mother were worried I was getting too old to get a job. Or at least my options were getting thinner. It might be true. Especially when there’s ageism going around in work places. But that won’t stop me from trying. It’s the work places that are missing a lot. It’s their loss, not mine. Or any job seeker for that matter. The butterfly effect would really be helpful right now.
“I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”
First meeting in Helsinki Design School is over. Even travelling back and forth for 3 days, is exhausting. But that’s the only way. Especially when you don’t know anyone that lives in Helsinki. Hotels are expensive too. Rest of the photography course will only be for 2 days so it will be easier. First I thought, maybe I could sleep over at a class mates house but after meeting them, I rather sleep at home. I don’t think I will get that close to anyone. Since I don’t travel much anyway, a few days a month doesn’t hurt.
Finding the school wasn’t that difficult. Using Google Maps helped. I found the place almost immediately. I wasn’t nervous when I got there. When I was younger I was much more nervous going to a new place. Now I was cool as a cucumber. The class rooms had see-through glass so you could watch what other classes were doing. In the hall there were fashion students working. In the class room there were 5 and a half rows of long tables with chairs. All white. People had already arrived and it was quiet. Only a few were talking so maybe they knew each other. Everyone had a file folder and 2 pencils for jotting. When the class started, the Director of Education talked to us about the school and about assignments. Just the basic. We were about 40 student so photography is very popular. There’s only 3 guys and the rest is girls. There were more applicants that they could take. Good I was the lucky one.
The most nervous thing was the introduction about yourself. A total hell for an introvert. I totally screwed that up. I was so nervous I didn’t even know if they understood what I said. Hearing what fellow student told about themselves made me feel like a loser. Most of them were younger than me and they already experienced a lot. Some had been living abroad and some had an own company. Most of them also live in Helsinki area. There’s was one who was from my city but had lived in Helsinki for some time. I felt like an outsider at that point.
As the time processed to Saturday, we already had a team work under our belt. That didn’t go too badly. I usually fear team work. Bad experiences I guess. On Saturday we had another teacher so we had to introduce ourselves again but this time it went better. I was still nervous but at least I got to say something reasonable. We had another team work. Twice. Won’t go into detail. Something about making your own Brad Pitt. OK, that was just my group 😀 That was much more fun.
I’ve always been bad with names but I do remember faces. Being in a big class like this, it’s natural you won’t get to know all of them. I hope I didn’t give a bad first impression. I might be drawn and keep to myself (liking eating alone) but it doesn’t mean I want to be like that all the time. I don’t really talk to anyone. Just when it comes to school work. I don’t really look for a friend. We don’t meet that often and they live in another city. It’s still early days so you never know. We already have a group on FB so that’s a start. It’s about assignment and school things mainly.
Next meeting is October 24. Before that doing assigments. 2 of them. I just hope my printer have color. They are suppose to be printed on a paper which is a shame since my photos look best on screen. Oh well the teachers better accept the quality they become.
In my world 