Tag: postaday

So where is my Genie?

Mia3 Comments

genie and bottle

Life ain’t easy but it shouldn’t be this hard. Things that come easy for some, doesn’t mean it will happen to you. If it’s love or getting a job. You often see how someone has got lucky and they brag about it like it was so easy. It’s like they’ve rubbed a lamp and the genie comes out. It’s good for them but why would others really care. It only brings jealousy in others. Some can be happy for them but that doesn’t make things better for others. Not everyone is as lucky as them. So where is my genie?

I think mine has a life sentence in jail because I’ve never been that lucky. Sure, my things are better than for some but it could be better. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and think about things you don’t have. I wish there would be a parallel universe where everything you want will go like planned. I could get the guy I want and the job I want. There it wouldn’t matter how you look and the society would be flawless.  In this life, you’re either lucky, not that lucky or really bad luck. I don’t believe in this you can make your own luck. You can’t choose who you meet or being in right place at the right time. You can’t make that kind of luck. You can’t even choose in which country you get born to. Even if you do live in a country with a lot of opportunities, nothing is certain. It was proven today again when the course of entrepreneurship ended that a few of the students got a job. It’s good for them and you can be happy for them. Maybe this isn’t luck but a few of them can start their entrepreneurship already and they even have clients. I’m not even close. I still only think about it. I’m worried my business will fail because I’m not lucky enough. It’s like in space where no one hears you scream. When it comes to jobs, no one ever offered me one. If I even shouted from the rooftop I’m looking for a job, no one would notice. Maybe I’m just being too pessimistic. But if you never really had that genie, you don’t believe anything good will ever happen.

I’ve taken part in many competitions to win products but I never won. Only once which was a box of candy/sweets when I was a child but that’s about it. I see no point in entering because I’ll never win anyway. The same with everything else. If someone asked what is my greatest achievement, there isn’t many. At least nothing to brag about. Wishing good luck to me isn’t really helpful because I never have. My genie must in the parallel universe because it isn’t in this one.

Introduction to introversion

Mia3 Comments
yawning ferret
Looks like screaming but it’s yawning

The biggest mystery seems to be introversion. Like it’s something negative. I really need to fret about this a bit more. You won’t get hired because you’re not extroverted enough. It seems that people see you’re introverted as soon as they meet you. That’s what I’ve experienced at least. I hate meeting new people because it’s like it says introverted on my forehead. People notice straight away that I don’t say much and then they’ve already judged me. In job interviews (well that one I got last year) I got the feeling my answers weren’t that satisfying to the interviewer. I was too quiet. Like that’s a bad thing. I don’t know how long answers you need to have. I’m not gonna make things up that aren’t true. I don’t even get that many ideas into my head at one second. I’ll never get a job because I suck at interviews. Actually in interviews in general. It’s such a turn off to meet people because they seem to notice my introversion straight away.

If something would get me deeply depressed, it would be people suggesting me to change myself. My life purpose is not to entertain people. I shouldn’t need to explain myself to others. I’m tired of hiding my introversion and explain I’m not always quiet. But that’s what people see me as. When I introduce myself (like in school) it feels awkward and it can sound like I’m struggling with the words. Then after that, the others don’t want to talk to me. That’s what I dread the most when my graphic design studies begin in August in Helsinki Design School. Last time I introduced myself to strangers I thought maybe I didn’t say things clear enough. No one really said anything to me after that. Maybe the reasons are something else then I think. Sometimes I obsess about things like that and I can’t get it out of my head. It’s a shame people don’t even bother to get to know me because my first impression wasn’t good enough for them. Their loss anyway.

It’s weird that if a person is extroverted, it’s no big deal. You don’t even need to hide it. It’s a positive thing and no one really cares. But if you’re introverted, it’s the opposite. You’re not allowed to tell about your introversion because that will make you look bad. You have to act extroverted and be very talkative when it’s not in your nature. People wonder why someone doesn’t say much but they never wonder why someone talks too much. You can’t really be neither. You can’t be too quiet but you can’t be too loud either. Nothing is good enough but that’s how society works. People expect the impossible. It’s this and it’s that, there’s nothing in between. Life would be much more fun to live if everyone could be themselves. But people want to take the harder route, then the obvious one. Everyone knows there are different people in the world and yet they can’t accept it. They have the urge to put people into categories instead of letting people be what they are.

Dare to be different should be a world theme. If it was perfect that is. Humans just can’t stop nitpicking. If you’re not like them, they wonder why. It’s the questions and what others think of you which is the most annoying thing. If you tell an introvert to talk more, they will get even quieter. Telling a person what they are, makes them feel they’re not accepted. I guess the reason why introversion is seen as negative is the lack of awareness. It isn’t rocket science. It’s shouldn’t matter if you’re introverted or extroverted (or ambivert) because we’re all different personalities. No one is a typical one. We should work together and not against. There are too much of prejudices in the world anyway. We don’t need more of it.