Tag: postaday

NaBloPoMo15: Face your fears

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Face your fearI wrote about my fear for dogs over here and how managed to get over it. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Facing a fear like that takes years. Some never get over it. There are people who have been bitten by a dog. That’s even worse. Even if they face their fear, in the back of the head, there’s always the thought about the event. But if you let your fear get in the way of living your life, you’ll never get anything done.

People that have never felt fear, won’t understand how it is to be really scared. There was an episode in ‘Friends’ where Chandler is afraid of dogs. He said he didn’t like dogs because he was scared of them. But if you’re scared, it means you can’t even be in the same room. You panic and wants to get out of there. The only reason he was scared of them was because he didn’t know what they were thinking. I wouldn’t call that fear. He wasn’t attacked or any other bad experience. That episode was unrealistic. Someone who’s afraid of dogs won’t get over it in a day. The writer who wrote the episode clearly didn’t know what it really feels to be scared of dogs.

The only person who understands how to be scared of something, is a person who’s afraid of the same thing or have been. If you’re scared of spiders, you can’t tell them, they won’t do you any harm. The same goes with dogs. I heard comments from dog owners that how nice and lovable their pets are. But for a person who is scared, it doesn’t help. That fear will still be there no matter what you say.

The only thing that helps to get over fear, is to face it. It might take years like it has for me. There are fears you can’t get over. My fear of needles has never disappeared. I know it might not hurt but still I try to ignore injections like a plague. Unless it’s really necessary. Blood tests are the worse. That’s one of the reasons I won’t donate blood. Just the thought makes me feel anxious. That’s a fear I know I’ll never get over.

NaBloPoMo15: Introverts and photography

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treat2
©Mia Salminen

When I thought about what to write in day 4 of NaBloPoMo, I had nada. Nothing. I’ve written daily before but today it struggled a bit. After surfing the net about other things, I found this blog post about photography and introverts. I thought about myself. It’s exactly like that.

Sometimes I wonder, if photography really is my thing when it come to careers. Like I wrote yesterday (btw, thanks for the likes 🙂 ) I’m an introvert and things are not easy. For starter when I photograph, I usually do it when no one is looking. It’s like I’m ashamed. A lot of other people photograph and they don’t try to hide it. What’s even worse is when you have an assignment to ask people if they could be photographed, I just can’t do it. That’s one of the reason I don’t like taking photos of strangers.

When Princess Victoria of Sweden visited the country in 2011. There was a moment when she stopped where me and mum stood. I was too nervous to take photos. But then again she suddenly appeared quite close so I didn’t have time to react. At least I got one decent one.

Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011
Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011

That’s what I lacked, confidence and boldness. I guess you learn from practise. If I only bothered practising that is. You only become better if you do.

But is it really worth trying if you don’t know of you get better. Even if I know the basics, it just doesn’t stick in my head. Chosing the exposure or shutter speed is a nightmare to me. I get frustrated when I don’t get the result I want. Maybe I’m just not made for becoming a pro. Posting your photos on a blog is a different thing than photographing for a living. It seems to be so much work to get yourself out there. Even if other introverts have made it in the world, doesn’t mean everybody does. As a photographer, you have to stand out but how, that’s another matter.

I’m not only an introvert but also shy and lack of ambitions. That’s the difference between me and that article I mentioned. You hear or read, you can become anything you want as long as you work hard. The only time I worked hard was mental work. It’s not that I haven’t had support. My parents were really good at that. But somehow I’ve just been too sensitive. I just haven’t had the courage to do anything special. I know I can do things but I just don’t know how to do it.

I sound like a jumbled mess in person, but get me in front of a keyboard and my thoughts flow in a far more structured manner. – Alethia Rains

Exactly my thoughts. With that, thank you. Over and out.

NaBloPoMo15: Dream jobs as a child

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When you’re a child you have these dreams about what you want to be when you grow up. Maybe some does make those dreams come true. Someone wants to become a doctor or a police man. They already know what they want to be at a very young age. Others only have dreams what they want to become but when they get older, they got other interests.

I’ve had dreams what kind a job I wanted to do. When I was 6 I wanted to become a baker. I helped mother in the kitchen. We made gingerbread at Christmas. Then there were times when we made buns or cookies. Just baking in general was fun. But when I got older, it wasn’t much fun anymore. Not to mention early mornings. I’m definitely not a morning person. Bakers needs to get up early and baking in general is too much work. Baking once in a while is nice but to do it as a living is not.

Once I had a small thought about owning a candy store. Eat candy all day. But it’s nothing like that. You are supposed to sell them to other people, not eat them yourself 😀 That was just a thought. But a nice one. I don’t think there are many candy stores anymore. At least not here. People rather buy candy from grocery stores and other stores.

When I became a teenager, I wanted to become a singer. We used to sing at home a lot when I was a  child. I thought I was good. When I listened to old tapes, I realised I didn’t. At least not as good as a singer should be. I’ve always sing along to tunes but that’s as far it goes. I’m not that much into performing either. Even though I’ve been on stage in school plays and such.

When it comes today, I still don’t know what I want to be. But that’s another story for another day.

(Day 2 of NaBloPoMo)