When things go dishevel

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I went to the career coaching thing because I wanted to elucidate my job search skills (and the job centre suggested it). I did get my cover letter and resume updated, but the rest is dishevelled. There is a difference between sending an open application to an ordinary job and to a place where a portfolio is essential. I don’t think I will get any replies from the companies I applied to. They don’t look for people like me. They probably take someone with an impressive portfolio. Honestly, mine isn’t that good. I should get more job experience, but I don’t think I even get an internship. I might sound pessimistic, but you become that when things never go the way you wish. The ‘you don’t know if you don’t try’- thing isn’t what I believe in. I’ve tried that many times, but nothing has come out of it. It has worked when it comes to studying, but never in the job search. One of the downsides of sending open applications is that you never know if they will get in touch with you. It can take ages, or they never do. I’m not gonna wait for it. They say you should be in contact with the companies you sent them to. But that feels awkward, and it feels like you’re disturbing them. You shouldn’t say to me that the worse thing that can happen is if they say no. It will be no, and those words don’t make me feel better. It only makes me feel even more useless and unmotivated. Life shouldn’t be about job search. It’s not a full day job. Will never understand why someone would want to waste their whole day on it.

The only time things aren’t dishevel is when it comes to spare time. I have a lot to do on that front. I went to an ice hockey game a few days ago. Nothing beats a live sports event. I never get to see ice hockey on TV because it’s on a paid TV channel. I only listen to the radio. I didn’t get to the event in time because I took the wrong bus and then got lost. I had to take a taxi, so I lost 15 euros there. If I only wouldn’t have believed the bus app, I wouldn’t have gotten on the wrong bus. I knew what bus to take, but I thought I would take another bus that went the same way. Never be too sure where you are. If you know an easier way to do things, do it that way. I’ve learned my lesson. Next time I go and see ice hockey, I will take the bus that gets closer to the place where the event is held. The trip home went right, so I got home safely.

Things can’t stay the same all the time. They have to elucidate sometime. It has in the past. Anything can happen in this life. Or it might not happen at all. I wish certain things would come more often my way, but I guess that’s too much to ask. I just need to move on. You fall, but you get up again. If, at first, you don’t succeed, you might have the 100th time. Whatever success means to you, it’s the right one. For me, it’s finishing this blog post. Tomorrow it might be something else.

Don’t stand so close to me

people sitting in public transport
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I hate crowded places and there’s usually on events and such. But I also hate it when people stand too close in a queue in the store. I try to avoid serried places as much as I can. Then there are these slow walking people. They don’t have to be old people. Any age can walk slowly. It’s not that I’m in a hurry but it frustrates me to walk behind such person. I feel like Mr Bean in this sketch. Public transport is the worst though.

If it’s a train and the place is crowded, there’s nowhere to sit. People stand really close to you. It feels like you can’t breathe and you want to get out. I went once on to a train which was full of people. Then I realised I was on the wrong train. Luckily the right one was right behind. It was such a relief to get out of there. The real train had fewer people in it. It was in the morning and that train was never full. When you’re in narrow places, it feels like you’re being suffocated. On a bus, it’s the same.

Last year when I studied in another town, I had to take the bus on a Sunday. People kept coming in and no one left. You sit there with all your things and then someone wants to sit beside you. Just when you’re settled down, you have to move them. If you sit by the window it feels like the other person is pushing you into the window. On long trips, this is not a very nice way to travel. They say you should use public transport more often but they probably haven’t travelled in that when it’s crowded. A few times during my trip to the other city, I thought I wish I had a driver’s licence so I could drive to my destination instead. But then on public transport, you can sleep or do other stuff. They’re not always crowded. It really depends on when you travel. In August I’m going by bus to Helsinki to study graphic design so I have to experience serried places again. Luckily it’s just couple times a month.

If you go on events they’re usually in a bigger place. Last year when I went to see Robbie Williams in concert, there was a lot of people but yet there were places you could go to. People weren’t coming at you like they do in public transport. I get anxiety if someone gets too close. Even if someone looks over my shoulder when I’m on my computer, it feels awkward. I lose concentration and stop what I’m doing. It’s different if it’s a teacher who wants to help me but other times it’s not comfortable.

Your chatter doesn’t matter


One of the reasons why I dislike public transport in long distances is the chatter other people make. When I travelled to school, I had to take the bus. I had my tablet with me so I could listen to music but once I forgot it at home. I had to listen to other people’s conversations. I was bored out of my mind by hearing their constant jangle. Why do people have the urge to keep talking? If you got nothing interesting to say than don’t say anything at all. Even worse are those people who talk on their mobiles. The whole trip you have to listen to their nonsense. It should be illegal to talk on the mobiles when other people are around. In a bus, you can’t get away from these chatterboxes. I’ve got sensitive ears and even the slightest noise disturbs me. You can’t really say to these talking people to stop talking because then they get upset. People should really respect other people but these days it’s not obvious for some.

Being social seems to mean, talking a lot. For me, that’s not being social. It only means you love your voice so much, you have to keep talking. You can still be social if you don’t talk much. I’ve been told I’m not social enough. What does that mean anyway? I don’t waste time talking whatever comes to mind. I only say something if the subject interests me. I’m not deaf or mute. I observe and follow conversations. I don’t drift away if someone is talking. Especially extroverted people think if you don’t say anything, then you’re not social. Talkative people should try observing their surroundings. It’s OK to be silent for a while. You don’t have to be like a headless hen who can’t stand still for a moment. Too much noise is stressful.

Some people talk only because of talking so they talk a lot of rubbish. No one seems to have decent conversations where you actually have something to say. Then there are people who talk about things they don’t know about. They think they know so they try to convince you that they are right. But that only makes them look foolish. You see that a lot online. They can even go as far as insulting a person. People like that have no respect for different opinions so they argue. There’s no right or wrong, only opinions. When you write things online only because you want to make a mark, then why waste time in the first place. You should think before writing anything. That goes the same with talking. If everyone could think before speaking, then a lot of nonsense would be avoided.