Some “free writing” Sometimes I wonder why I even bother posting anything on Instagram. It doesn’t matter what I post I get no reaction anymore. It’s doesn’t matter what quality the photos are either. Well, eff you. I rather do something else. It’s a pain to do anything with the tablet I’ve got. I can’t get the whole app to download on my mobile so I scrap the whole thing. They can keep the stupid Instagram. It sucks big time anyway. Even Twitter has become a bore. Especially after they decided to change the whole layout. Their app is crap as well and now they put it on the computer version too.
I don’t know why I bother with anything. Everything goes to death ears. It’s like talking to a wall. At least a wall listens. It feels like everyone hates me and they don’t want me around. But of course, that’s not the truth at all. It just feels like it. I just hate it when I can’t get anyone to get to know me. All the men in this country are idiots too. I’m gonna die alone but I don’t give a damn. It’s like Madonna sings in Express yourself. Let me find the lyrics.
Second best is never enough
You’ll do much better, baby, on your own
Let others waste their time on finding true love from idiots. I’ve got better things to do. Sorry if you don’t agree but that’s how I feel. Feel free to live your life the way you want. That’s not mine. All the good men are taken or they don’t even know I exist. Or they’re famous. I won’t mention who because then you think I’m a fool for liking someone like that. I’m too old to fancy celebs even though I hate that word when it comes to that person. OK, too private.
This free writing should become a habit of mine but not against time. My time would be up ages ago. Free writing means that you write what comes to mind at a certain time. I just can’t type that fast so it takes much longer. My brain works too fast so I don’t have time to write it down. I don’t want to leave write something I don’t know want people to know. That means too personal stuff. What I mean by that you can’t try to figure it out yourself. I won’t give you the answer though. So haha. Smilie here. Or whatever it’s spelt. I don’t have time to check. My program is coming soon so I have to finish this post before that. I have to check out the spelling before I post it.
You can now forget what I wrote in this post in the beginning. That rant is over. It doesn’t take long before I’m over it. I’m not angry for long. At least upset. I don’t know if that’s right English but I have no time to write anything else. So goodbye for now.
Life is full of disappointments, I once wrote on this blog. I try not to flare up when it comes to misfortunes. But sometimes you need to rant about it. I didn’t get the internship that I went for an interview. At least I don’t think so because they never did inform me. They could have at least bothered to tell me. I can’t understand why employers can’t tell the applicants about the results. A no is better than no answer at all. Since there was no reply last week I assume it’s a lost cause. Just as well. The other interns were much younger than me. It wasn’t even a paid job. But that would have been better than nothing. Well, their loss. Looking on the bright side, I can concentrate on my school assignments. It still blows I didn’t get the internship though. It seems I can’t even get free work. It feels like all the educations I’ve had is all unnecessary. I don’t know why I even bother studying anything. I should get work experience but no one gives you a chance. That’s a problem for the young and the older job seekers.
You’re either too young or too old. Even someone over 40 is old for most employers. What are they worried about? They don’t want to babysit or boss their mothers? Job search is a pain and it gets worse the longer you are unemployed. All this propaganda about how to find work doesn’t help. People can give you millions of advice but none of them will help your cause. The job search has become a competition. Is not what kind of education you have, it’s about who you know. It helps if you’re an outgoing and a-happy-go-lucky-really- social person. If you’re not, then there are troubles ahead. After so many disappointments you lose hope of finding any work. You start to think there is something wrong about you. But it isn’t. It’s the job search that is rotten. Employers are too afraid to take risks. It frustrates me when these 30 years something praise how they got a job after a job search in 6 months. That’s nothing, try 10 or more years and then praise it. It’s so easy to brag about your good luck when others struggle for years.
I’ve been to these job search and resume courses but none of them has helped to find me a job. The only thing I got was something to do and once I found an education I applied to (it was the web design education) That didn’t help either to get a job. There is no point applying for any job because I’m gonna get rejected anyway. If I can’t even get this internship without pay, then how can I get a paid one. I’m actually so fed up with this all. I know I should think positive but it’s hard since nothing ever happens. I could just go to sleep and pray for death. Not really though. In a way, I understand people who don’t even want to look for a job. Job search is hard and you get emotionally drained about the whole process. But I wouldn’t want to live all my life on social benefits. My parent taught me better than that. If I had the courage I would become an entrepreneur at this instant but that has its disadvantages too. Feeling unwanted is one of the worst feelings but you just have to continue living. At least I have other things to do. Or else this unemployment would take harder to bear.
New year is so overrated. Things won’t change. The world will still be crazy. It’s getting more ridiculous each year. Maybe it’s not the world, it’s the people in it. No one really cares except those that only care about themselves. It has become a Me, Me, Me world. As long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter how things are with others. There are people who doesn’t have better things to do than follow other people’s lives. Mostly celebrities lives. Who really cares what they do or who they date etc. Why don’t these nosy people get a life. Tumblr is full of these people. The scum of the world. I don’t know what’s more sickening, a child molester or a nosy “fan” who wants to know everything about a celebrity. Just because they’re in the public eye (some more than others) doesn’t mean their private life are a concern to others.
New years resolutions are a waste of time. How can you become a better person if you’re already are one. Why should you try to change yourself just because its new year. It’s new every time. Why not make a resolution some other day. Like in June. Why even do resolutions anyway. You’re gonna break them anyway so what’s the point.
That’s one of the reasons I don’t make any. I’m not gonna promise something I won’t keep. I’m not gonna lie to myself or other’s. Besides life too short to nitpick.
I’m not gonna plan anything. If you don’t expect any, you won’t get disappointed. Live for a day and go where life takes you. Or nowhere in my case. The only thing I know what I’m gonna do is finally seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens next Thursday. I got movie tickets for Christmas so 3 more movies to see. Then there’s Sherlock and The Blacklist is back from hiatus. In entertainment the year will be good. Other stuff, meh.