Tag: rdp

This is not an error, it’s my life

MiaLeave a comment
pink colour with error
Made in Canva

First some bad news. I wrote about this education and now I know the result.

I applied to employment training in digital marketing and e-commerce just to have a plan and because I’m interested in it. It’s a long way to that and I don’t even know if I get in the course.

Published on June 27, 2019

I didn’t even get an interview so that was a waste of time. I could have started something but now I’m a bit down. I guess when I apply to an education where you need to explain why you want to be in the education I don’t get a chance. Not always but most of the time. I don’t know why it took so long for them to decide. I applied in June and I don’t even get to the interview. That really makes a person feel unwanted. I could have done something else besides waiting. Deep inside I knew I wouldn’t get in. It was a far-fetched anyway. I could get that knowledge elsewhere. I’ve already tried to study digital marketing on Google but I didn’t pass the test. In the education I applied to was an internship involved which is probably the only reason I applied. Now I don’t get that either.

I don’t why I bother doing anything. My plans all fail anyway. It’s really difficult to keep the motivation going when you feel you’re not succeeding. Never give up they say but how can you be positive when life kicks you in the exhaust. Over and over again. You get an error not once but several times. You feel everyone else does things much better than you. You don’t get over that feeling no matter how people try to put positive thoughts in your head. Many times you see how people have succeeded even if they’ve failed. But I don’t think I feel that lucky. I’m probably had so many drawbacks I’m too afraid to start anything. Maybe if I was in my 20’s I could have better chances but you can’t go back in time. I don’t mean it’s too late but now it’s much harder. Some things just make it too impossible. Some people look at other people on social media and feel depressed about how they look. I look at people’s skills and I feel depressed how bad my skills are. Maybe not bad but I’m insecure about them. I don’t think I get any better no matter how much I practice.

Looking on the bright side. My life is not an error. In some things, I feel secure. Like in writing. I’m good at that and I feel confident in it. I don’t get paid for it but still, it gives me satisfaction. If I did get paid for it, it probably would feel forced. Having it as a hobby, I don’t get stressed and I can write about things I want to read. If I didn’t have anything my life would be much more boring. A person needs to have at least one hobby to escape reality for a while. After that, it’s much easier to cope with life.

At the libary for once

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old library entre
The entry to the library in my town. It was founded in the 1860s

I haven’t been to the library in recent years. I’ve been there but I haven’t got a library card for ages. Not until last week that is. I don’t read books that much but these days you can borrow almost anything from a library. You don’t even need to look for the books in person. You can do that online and let others find them for you. All you need is to pick them up. Of course, when you find it yourself you get the touch and see the book. Or whatever you borrow. When I was a kid I used to go to the library more often. Today I’m just lazy to go. We’ll see how things will go now when I have a library card again.

I do read books from time to time but it’s books about real life rather than fiction. I prefer borrowing books more than buying them. I would never even have time to read all those books. I haven’t even watched some of my DVD’s or Blu-rays. I could soon almost own my own library at home with all the CDs and other discs I have. I wouldn’t have a library with books. It would be about movies, TV shows and music. They say reading books is good for you but my patience is too short. I’ve tried to read ‘Lord of the rings’ a couple of times and I still haven’t finished it. It’s so much easier to watch the movie. I really admire people who read books because I’m bad at it. I’m easily distracted. The last book I read was ‘The Hobbit” I’ve already read it twice. Short books like that are easier to read. I don’t really know why I’m not into fiction books because I used to read them when I was younger. I’ve read biographies or books about photography. That kind of books keeps my interests up. Other times I do something else besides reading books.

I’m more into writing than reading. You can still develop your imagination without reading books. You read all the time. If it’s the news or insights of other people. I’ve seen a lot of movies and I also studied screenplay writing so that way I’ve also practised my imagination. I don’t understand some people complaining about movie adaptions. Like when Lord of the rings movies was out. “It’s not in the books. It’s not in the books” complains. Of course not. The movie is the imagination of the writers and the director. You can’t put everything in a movie. If it’s straight from a book, the movies will take forever. Any books. Making movies also cost money and it take times to do them as well. When you read a book, it’s from your imagination. But when it’s made into a movie, it’s someone else imagination. Of course, you can’t please everyone. If you prefer reading books to watching movies then it’s your choice.

Next time when I go to the library I will try to find a novel that I’m actually gonna finish. I’m not into books with a small font because that’s something I know I’ll never read to the end. It doesn’t matter how good it might be. Books with a small print stay in the library. What’s the point with a library card if you don’t use it, heh? So I will try to make a habit of it.