Tag: rdp

What I value in friendships

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friendships
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I’m old enough to know what I value in friendships. I haven’t been that lucky with that. From my past experiences I’ve learned what I don’t like in a friend. I’ve written about friendships before on this blog. You can find a few links about it at the end of this post. I have a few precedents of it so I know what I’m talking about.

The most important thing is honesty. A person who pretends to be my friend and then find someone else has no place in my life. I had a friend in school like that. There were days when she chose that other girl to spend her time with. I was just a substitute when she had a disagreement with the other one. With honesty, I don’t mean you should judge someone by the way they dress or something like that. Honesty is telling you they have another friend and not pretending they want to be your friend. I rather be told they don’t want to spend time with me than being ignored. It hurts more than honest words. If someone doesn’t want to be my friend they shouldn’t pretend to be so. Fake friends are easy to find. It’s the honest ones you have to search for with cats and dogs. If you had bad experiences of friendships, it’s no wonder you don’t want to get close to anyone or let people in your life.

I value respect in a friend. Someone who accepts you for who you are. A true friend doesn’t tell others how to dress or trying to look a certain way. Friends should respect others opinions and don’t start a fight over something they don’t agree with. We can’t always agree but you shouldn’t stop being a friend because they don’t agree with you. They shouldn’t talk crap behind your back. A true friend doesn’t make up rumours. I don’t know if my so-called friends made up some rumour and frankly I don’t care. They had no respect for me because if they did they wouldn’t have ignored me. A friend who spreads rumours is no friend. Maybe their own life is so empty so they have to make up things. Respect is also about supporting a friend in their life choices. If it’s about careers or relationships. A friend doesn’t put you down and saying you’re doing it wrong or you don’t have what it takes. Being supportive is true friendship.

Trustworthiness is important in any relationship. If you can’t trust a friend, you can’t really be a real friend. I don’t remember if I ever told anyone a secret but that’s not the only way to lose trust in a person. If a friend pretends to be a friend but still doesn’t have any respect for you, you can’t confide in that person with anything. The risk can be that the person tells the other friend what you have told your friend. So you keep things to yourself instead. Once you lose trust in a person it’s difficult to get it back. Sometimes it’s lost for good. It’s better to find new friends than trying to get the trust back. I’m happy I didn’t need to have these people in my life. I went to a Finnish Swedish school and when I got a Finnish only school, I didn’t see the old classmates anymore. I haven’t had any problems like this in my adult life. I’m just more careful when it comes to friendships.

I don’t deny my past experiences haven’t affected my life because they have. It hasn’t made me weaker though. Actually, it’s the opposite. The problem is not about trusting people, it’s about finding someone who has the same interests. Or at least have something in common with. I haven’t found anyone like that in real life. They always seem to be in a different wavelength than me. A true friend is someone you can confide in. They don’t judge you and you can say anything to them without having to worry they don’t want to continue the friendship. When I meet new people I always have to think before speaking so I don’t say too much. I wish I wouldn’t need to worry about that. Since I never had a friend who stands by me no matter what happens, I don’t really know what that’s like. Maybe I find that kind of friendship when I’m really old. Friendships don’t see age. In life, you never know. A friend can appear from anywhere. In this case, patience is a virtue.

Old posts of friendship
Partner in crime
Nothing on the horizon
Hey, fake person

Have a heart

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cobblestone heart
Cobblestone street in Turku, Finland

Have a heart

Have a heart when you smoke in front of your kids

Have a heart when you litter in nature

Have a heart when you kill innocent people

Have a heart when you treat a person like trash

Have a heart when you hurt animals and kids

Have a heart when you don’t care about others

Have a heart when you bully a person who’s not like you

Have a heart when you want to hurt someone who isn’t white

Have a heart when you think someone’s sexuality is a sickness

Have a heart and get rid of your prejudice because life is too short

Have a heart and take others into account

Like Michael Jackson said, “Its all for love… L.O.V.E”

Please have a heart and make this world a better place to live in

 

Midsummer Pond(ering)

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Midsummer sun 2017
Midsummer Eve 2017, Time 03.39 am

Today it’s Midsummer Eve and it’s time to pond(er) about why it’s celebrated. It’s a big day for some in Finland. I think it’s just another reason to get drunk. And damn, Finns are fond of that stuff. Yuck, I rather eat dirt. Fortunately, being drunk is not that cool anymore among young people. Midsummer is the longest day and the sun don’t go down all night. Especially in the North of Finland. Everyone wants to know how the weather will be like so there’s a lot of news about it weeks in advance. One day the weather is gonna be hot and the next rain. As it seems, it’s gonna be cool and rainy. I don’t really mind that. Rather that then a heatwave.

A lot of people go to their summer cottages and celebrate the Midsummer there. But a lot also stay in the city where events are held. In some places, people build a Maypole where they put different flowers on it. Then later people dance around the pole to live music. It’s usually accordion music. This tradition comes from Sweden so Finnish Swedes has taken this tradition as their own. But it’s also become popular among Finnish speaking citizens.

bonfire
From Pixabay

Another tradition is the Midsummer bonfire (Finnish; Kokko) Unless there is a forest fire warning, then it’s forbidden to light one up. It’s a big pile of wood that is lit up in the evening. It used to symbolise banishing evil spirits but now it’s just tradition where people gather around it to watch it burn. It’s just a big fire so it’s nothing special really. When you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. But it is a beautiful sight I don’t deny that. If you ever visit Finland in the Midsummer that’s the one to see. That and of course the whole Midsummer in general.

Midsummer is not only about big bonfires and Maypoles. Also, many music festivals are popular. You could say Midsummer is the beginning of festivals. Many bands and artists who come from abroad are amazed how light it is outside. It depends on the weather though. Usually, it’s only dark a few hours and then it becomes light again. It’s a bit of a myth saying it never gets dark in the Midsummer because that’s not entirely true. Maybe if you’re in the North there’s a better chance. This year people will feel cold when it’s cloudy and windy at the festivals. Rather them than me.

I don’t really care about Midsummer. It’s just two days and then it’s over. I don’t care about festivals, bonfires or Midsummer magic. The only good thing is less traffic and some neighbours are away. I just want to close my eyes and wish Midsummer would be over soon. I won’t be going anywhere this year. Last year I went to see a bonfire with dad and then we went home. Now I don’t know if we go since the weather is the way it is. I don’t mind at all. I just too lazy to bother about the whole thing. If other people want to celebrate Midsummer it’s their business. Every year someone drowns or accidents happen and this year won’t be different. People really should drink less and be more careful out there. I guess that’s one way of getting rid of people from this planet.

So that was my Midsummer pond(ering) Lastly but not least. Here’s a tongue twister in Finnish. Try that if you can. Happy Midsummer Everyone!

Kokoo kokoon koko kokko! Koko kokkoko? Koko kokko
(trans. Gather up a full bonfire! A full bonfire? A full bonfire.)