Tag: rdp

I only celebrate birthdays

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kids birthday celebrations
My birthday when I turned 6 in 1983

I only celebrate birthdays and Christmas holidays. I don’t care about Valentine’s Day or Friend’s Day, as we call it in Finland. You should celebrate it every day. You don’t need to do it only on this day. I don’t know why you should have a particular day for it. Maybe it’s just a way to rub it on people doesn’t have friends or loved ones. Either way, it’s an unnecessary day.

When I was a kid, I had birthday parties. It was nice to get presents. We had cake and played put a tail on a donkey. That’s what I had when I turned 6. Birthdays were important then, but as older as you get, you don’t celebrate them the same way. Who wants to get old anyway? The last time I had a birthday party was when I was in 5th or 6th grade. Today all I need is a meal with dessert, and then that’s over. Last year I was at some kind of party, the Duran Duran concert. People only congratulate me on Facebook because that’s what the notifications say. I don’t get many congratulations anymore. Maybe they don’t care. Actually, I don’t get any responses on whatever I post. I only post for myself, so I don’t feel so bad.

I haven’t had any friends since 9th grade, but I have managed without any. The last time I saw my former classmates was over 20 years ago. I don’t even know if they’re still alive. You lose touch with people for different reasons, but that’s life. Some find new friends, but some don’t. In the filmmaking course I’m doing, I won’t have any contact with my classmates when it’s over in August. I talk to them, but that’s about it. Typically, I don’t have much in common with people. They’re not on the same wavelength as me. They’re not asking me anything either, so it feels like people don’t want to get to know me. It’s their loss. I have other things to think about.

Different people celebrate in different ways. Some have big parties where they go dancing, and some celebrate quietly at home. There are no right and wrong ways to celebrate. You do the way you feel like. I only celebrate birthdays and Christmas holidays quietly without a big fuss. For me, other celebrations are only an ordinary day among others.

Things I don’t fancy

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Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

I’m a picky person. I don’t do things if I don’t feel like it. One of them is cleaning. But this post is not about that. It’s about things I don’t fancy. The second dislike I have besides cleaning is job search. I can understand why some people don’t want to work. It’s trying to find a job that is off-putting. Trying to stand out and know how to promote your skills. Even with a good resume, you need to be a circus person. It’s not only companies that have a brand, but people need to be one too. If I could, I wouldn’t look for work at all. It’s difficult and depressive. You shouldn’t stop trying, but how can you when you get rejected. Job search is so strange these days. As one of the Pet shop boys song “Suburbia” says. ‘I only wanted something else to do but hang around‘ I want to do something with my life and not just be.

What I don’t fancy is trying to find the right words to describe myself in the question, describe myself and what my strengths are. I didn’t even know what to write on this blog’s About me page when I started. I don’t have a way with words. I get frustrated when I can’t find the words so I let it be and do something else instead. Why should you do things you don’t fancy? You can’t force yourself to do anything. If the words won’t come, then they won’t.

What I do fancy right now, is to watch something funny on Disney Plus, so I’m out of here.

Between optimist and pessimist

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optimist pessimist made up arrow on road
Made in Canva

After a month, I’m back doing the Rag Tag Daily Prompt. I did Bloganuary, so I concentrated on those subjects. I’m an optimist that you have read this blog during that time. If you found this blog through Bloganuary, then welcome.

If someone asked what I am the most, an optimist or a pessimist. I would answer it depends on the day and what it’s about. I don’t know if there is a word describing how I think about things. I make decisions through my feelings, and if it doesn’t feel right, I don’t do it. I probably think with my gut and my head, but also what I feel in my heart. I’m a dreamer but also realistic. Some days I feel optimistic, but then there are days I feel hopeless. I try to think positively, but then negative thoughts enter my mind. I have never wanted to be like everyone else. I believe in myself. My mother said I can do anything I put my mind to. I was lucky when it came to my parents. They let me make my own decisions. They didn’t expect me to get A’s in school exams. I did my best; if I failed, it wasn’t the end of the world. In the end, grades don’t get you a job. No one will remember how much you got on that final exam or any other test.

What I’m not very optimistic about is getting a job. My mother was always worried I wouldn’t find any. She knew how it was to be unemployed, but I’m in a different situation than she was. I don’t have a family to support, for example. I also have other options if I don’t get any. I’m optimistic about finding something one day. I haven’t given up hope. Right now, I want to concentrate on my filmmaking studies. Maybe I will find something else to do besides that.