Living on my own

pawns
Made in Canva

A lot of people complain about their relationship status. They’re trying to find The One. Finding that partner to make them feel alive. Some of them are afraid to die alone. What’s so bad about that anyway? You probably gonna do that anyway. No one knows how they’re gonna die. So that’s not really a good reason. Maybe some need someone in their life but I don’t. I like living on my own. I’m like Peter Pan who don’t want to do adult stuff like dating. Who would even want to date me? I never even liked anyone enough to date them. Only men who I can’t have. Relationships have too much drama. I’ve got other things to do and think about. Unless someone like Tom Hiddleston comes along (Which he isn’t) Then I could consider dating.

I don’t find anything good about being in a relationship. Men probably want someone who can substitute their mother. I don’t know what’s so wrong about being single. You read about these celebrities having a new relationship as soon as the old is over. Where do they find a new one that fast? Is there a store where you can find them? Then they only date other celebs. What’s that about? Being an ordinary person is not good enough for them? When I see celebs actually being married or dating a so-call normal person, I salute them. But they probably met through a friend or working behind the scenes in something. I don’t mean I would want to date a celebrity. In some cases, I hate the word ‘celebrity’ because they’re more than that to me.  A shame no one of these people is ordinary that you can meet in your local store.

Living on your own is so much better. You can stay up as late as you like without having to hear, “Close that television and go to sleep, will you?” You can clean your flat when you feel like it. You only need to wash your own clothes. You don’t have to take care of anyone else but yourself. You can watch anything on television without having to argue about it. You can meet your friends when it best suits you. Just to mention a few. Not everyone wants to have other people around all the time. If you want company you can go outside and see other people.

If you want an ordinary life with a husband and 1,5 kids then it’s your choice. But don’t go around telling others they should too because it’s so ‘wonderful’ There are people who don’t want that kind of life. Relatives are the worse in this case. They expect you to be like everyone else. Everything that goes on in your life, is no concern of theirs. You should be allowed to keep things to yourself. I don’t go and tell people how to live their life so I expect them to do the same. What I dislike the most is people telling me what to do. Forcing others to do things they don’t want to won’t help anyone. It just makes people agitated and conflict will arise. You need to accept differences and let people be (or do) what suits them the best.

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?

pen on whiteIn web and graphic design there is a rule called, K.I.S.S (keep it simple stupid or silly) Why must life be so complicated when you can simplify it? Why can’t life be like in design? You shouldn’t need to have so many details. But when you deal with people simply isn’t always an option. We’re one of the most complicated creatures ever lived. It shouldn’t be that way. But what can you do? Some people just make things more difficult than it has to be.

What is common sense to one person, can be something else for another. For example, when I was a child people obeyed house rules. When the clock struck 10 pm, you weren’t allowed to play music out loud or make loud noises. But now it seems people don’t care what time it is. They have loud parties half the night and they don’t care who they disturb. How complicated is it to take others into consideration? Very difficult it seems. We live in a me-me-me society. As long as they have it good, no one else matters. You would think the world is full of idiots. Young people especially. They think they can do what they like without consequences. Fortunately, not everyone is like that. Some do have manners. It’s only that small group that hasn’t. I wonder how they will survive in adulthood if they can’t even behave now.

Any relationships are made complicated because people don’t talk to each other. They only assume what others are thinking. They mostly think about not hurting someone’s feelings. Honesty is much better than lying but you can be discreet about it. There are things you should keep to yourself. You don’t need to comment on everything you see. The limit between positive criticising and hurting someone can be difficult because some get more easily hurt than others. If you’re a sympathetic person, you know when to stifle it. You can put yourself in their place. If it only were that simple to others then there would probably less bullying or sexual harassment in the world. It really depends how your upbringing was. Your attitude comes from home. It’s the parent’s job to teach their children how to have respect for others. You can’t expect the teacher to teach them everything.

How simple life would be if you only needed to say, no don’t it or go ahead? No one would fight against it and everyone would be nice to each other. People would obey and accept the way things are. But it’s those emotions and feelings that spoils it all. Humans have complicated minds and nothing is simplified to us. Not everything needs to be so complicated though. Being nice to others should be easy. You don’t need to like a person but at least don’t be an idiot. A simple smile can save anyone’s day. Accepting differences is simple but there’s always someone resisting it. It’s really their problem. You shouldn’t let those ungrateful people spoil your life. Life should be as simplified as possible.

Forlorn away from success

blue pearlsIt seems that everything I do or do in this life so far hasn’t given me any success. I feel forlorn and cursed. Maybe people find me uninteresting. Especially when it comes to job search. Studying doesn’t seem to help to get a job. I don’t know what I should do so someone could find the connection with me. Nothing has come easy for me. In social media, Tumblr blog, personal life etc. For example, I had to start my Tumblr blog all over again because I wanted to delete my previous one. To make a long story short. It took me at least 5 years before I even got followers there and I need a way to get them back. Should I wait another 5 years? OK, it’s not the end of the world if people don’t follow me. It didn’t take overnight to get followers on this blog either. My point is, it can feel frustrating to work so hard and yet you don’t get much back no matter what it is.

It’s mentally exhausting to have a thought you’re not qualified for anything. I might say I don’t mind if things won’t happen the way I wish. But that’s just a defence mechanism. I don’t want to be famous or anything but I don’t want to be ignored either. Maybe it’s an introvert thing or a Gemini thing but I want things but I’m not confident enough to do anything about it. Sometimes I dislike myself. I’m probably the most indecisive person I know. I really don’t practice what I preach. It’s so easy saying to other people what to do but doing them yourself is difficult. I really hope there is no one like me out there. I could not handle a person like me. I guess my weakness is putting myself down. I know I can do anything but I’m too much of a coward to do anything. When things go wrong, I usually blame myself. But like everyone else, I have a dark side.

I really had some anger issues when I was younger. I had moments when I totally lost it. I could throw things and stomp as loud as I could. All of this happened at home. I never showed that side of me in public. I didn’t hurt other people, just myself. Sometimes I could be so frustrated, I hit myself. I didn’t know why I was so angry. To this day, you don’t want to see me angry. I still got easily irritated but it’s only because the way people behave. I have my pet peeves like anyone. I get over my anger easily though. I learned there are things you can’t do anything about. If I don’t get what I want, I don’t get upset. How other people behave, it’s not my fault. I can’t make people become friends or employers to hire me. As an adult, you can’t have tantrums like some kids have in public. I really hate being angry. I become a really unpleasant person. I swear like a sailor and I might say hurtful things. That’s a side I don’t want other people to see. But people shouldn’t act like idiots either. What goes around, comes around.

Most time I’m a calm person. I have manners and take other into account. When you get to know me, you can see I can be silly too. I just hate being the one who has to take the initiative. In school, I had to start a conversation to get to know people. Never the other way around. I got the idea they didn’t want to be my friend. Even now in adult education. They say you should network with your classmates but they didn’t even ask if they could keep in touch. I guess I wasn’t that interesting to them. Oh well, people come and go. I rather am forlorn than be with the wrong people. The same with relationships. I might be picky but at least I have standards. I always want someone I can’t have anyway. For some having someone in their life is really important but for me, it’s not the end of the world. Besides, there are so many other interesting things to think about then relationships. Freedom is so much more appealing so I stick with that for the time being.