Don’t call me fastidious

cracked concrete wall
Made in Canva

People might see me as fastidious because it takes time for me to decide. But don’t call me that because I’m not. The only time I can be fastidious is about food or if a painting on the wall is crooked. Other times I’m not. Some people rush to things and they settle for what they’ve got. I don’t go for the second-best. I don’t become friends with someone just to have someone to rely on. I have to have something in common with this person. The same goes for the opposite sex. I think it’s the men that are fastidious because they mostly go for pretty people. Because I’m not typical-looking they don’t even look my way. I’ll rather be alone than be ridiculed because I don’t look a certain way. “Well, you should be like this and look like this to get a date” Sorry to disappoint but I change for no one and I won’t join that fancy dress party no matter how hard I try. Besides, you can’t change a person for what they are. Being independent is much more fun anyway.

I’m not particularly fastidious when it comes to writing fiction either. I’m not that much into detail. Writing what a character is wearing is especially difficult. I prefer the story to small details. I let the reader imagine what they’re wearing. Since I only write for fun I don’t find things like that very important. It would probably be different if I was an author where things like that probably are crucial. I also don’t know how to describe a character’s appearance. I see the word ‘chiselled’ a lot in stories but I have no idea what that looks like. The detail on someone’s face is also hard so I don’t write that kind of stuff. Hair colour and such are easy but that as far as it goes. I write about real people so those who read my fiction know how the characters look like in real life. Stories are made-up.

Some people are fastidious when they watch movies. They find even the smallest mistake. I just want to enjoy a movie and not take it so seriously. Even with movies I’ve seen many times before. I watch movies for the stories and not if someone shirt has changed to some other colour. Making movies is like life, nothing is perfect. It’s supposed to be entertainment and not looking for flaws. I guess these people look at people the same way they search for mistakes in movies. Or they got too much time on their hands can be another option. Trying to find mistakes in movies takes out all the fun of this form of enjoyment.

So don’t call me fastidious because there are people worse than me. Sometimes being fastidious in certain things is not a bad thing though. I can be like that sometimes but that’s not what I should be called. I know my likes and my dislikes so that doesn’t mean it’s fastidious. I just have limited tolerance for nonsense and that should be enough to describe it.

Repost: Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?

Repost because why not use simplicity for a change.

Originally published on February 9, 2018
pen on whiteIn web and graphic design there is a rule called, K.I.S.S (keep it simple stupid or silly) Why must life be so complicated when you can simplify it? Why can’t life be like in design? You shouldn’t need to have so many details. But when you deal with people simply isn’t always an option. We’re one of the most complicated creatures ever lived. It shouldn’t be that way. But what can you do? Some people just make things more difficult than it has to be.

What is common sense to one person, can be something else for another. For example, when I was a child people obeyed house rules. When the clock struck 10 pm, you weren’t allowed to play music out loud or make loud noises. But now it seems people don’t care what time it is. They have loud parties half the night and they don’t care who they disturb. How complicated is it to take others into consideration? Very difficult it seems. We live in a me-me-me society. As long as they have it good, no one else matters. You would think the world is full of idiots. Young people especially. They think they can do what they like without consequences. Fortunately, not everyone is like that. Some do have manners. It’s only that small group that hasn’t. I wonder how they will survive in adulthood if they can’t even behave now.

Any relationships are made complicated because people don’t talk to each other. They only assume what others are thinking. They mostly think about not hurting someone’s feelings. Honesty is much better than lying but you can be discreet about it. There are things you should keep to yourself. You don’t need to comment on everything you see. The limit between positive criticising and hurting someone can be difficult because some get more easily hurt than others. If you’re a sympathetic person, you know when to stifle it. You can put yourself in their place. If it only were that simple to others then there would probably less bullying or sexual harassment in the world. It really depends on how your upbringing was. Your attitude comes from home. It’s the parent’s job to teach their children how to have respect for others. You can’t expect the teacher to teach them everything.

How simple life would be if you only needed to say, no don’t it or go ahead? No one would fight against it and everyone would be nice to each other. People would obey and accept the way things are. But it’s those emotions and feelings that spoils it all. Humans have complicated minds and nothing is simplified to us. Not everything needs to be so complicated though. Being nice to others should be easy. You don’t need to like a person but at least don’t be an idiot. A simple smile can save anyone’s day. Accepting differences is simple but there’s always someone resisting it. It’s really their problem. You shouldn’t let those ungrateful people spoil your life. Life should be as simplified as possible.

I’m not a shoe

friends quote
Made in Canva

The society expects you to achieve certain things at a certain age. You should have kids at 25, a career and so on. But what if you don’t want to have any of those things. Are you a bad person if you don’t? Maybe in some cultures, it is and your relatives do anything to find you a partner. All women should have the right to choose what kind of life they want to live. I’m not a shoe and I don’t want to be one either. If you want to be a shoe, it’s your choice. Some of us want to fight against that. Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky to be born in a country where women have a choice.

I’ve always been someone who wants to be different. Even though at 17 I thought about getting married and have kids before 25 but I lived in a fantasy land then. Now I’m glad I didn’t choose that life for different reasons. Many people study to a occupation and stick to it for the rest of their lives without studying anything else after that. I have had the right to study new things. It does have its downsides but that’s better than be stuck in a rut. You see people complaining about their job without realising there are people who don’t have a job. They should appreciate they have a place where they can go and earn money. Changing your career path is not too late. You don’t have to stay at a job you don’t like. Don’t be that shoe everyone expects you to be. You shouldn’t waste your life on something that you’re not passionate about. You wouldn’t want to wear a shoe that doesn’t fit all your life, would you? If it’s doesn’t fit, get a new one. It’s the same with career choices. If you don’t like your job, educate yourself to something else. Even people with a family have changed careers. Of course, it’s easier when you don’t have one but it’s not impossible either.

Happiness doesn’t mean the same to everyone. For some, it’s having that family with kids. For me, it’s having the freedom to do what I want. I can stay up as late as I want. I don’t need to ask permission from another person to go to places. I can also have crushes without having to hurt someone else’s feelings. It’s much more tempting to be alone than all the drama that people cause. I will never understand the urge people have is to find someone. What’s so bad of being alone anyway? Maybe it’s a thing in the American culture that has spread across the world. You see a lot of these finding the right person in American movies and television shows. If you’ve watched Friends, Chandler Bing says in an episode, “What if I’ll never find someone?” or “What if I die alone?” I would say, what’s the big deal? Be happy you’re single and stop whining, I think when I see it. Some of us aren’t meant to find anyone because we can be happy without relationships. If someone’s purpose in life is to get married and have kids, then so be it but don’t expect everyone else to do the same. Maybe I would change my tune if I found someone worth my time but that will never happen (they are probably taken already anyway) Nah, I don’t need a man to make me feel complete. I do much better on my own. I’m not a shoe because I can also be a purse or a hat like Rachel Green says in an episode of Friends. I can be anything I want and I don’t need anyone’s approval. So be anything you want because you have the right to do so. Everyone doesn’t need to follow the same script of life and other people should respect that.