Happy Birthday, Tom Hiddleston

loki drawing
Drawn by me

It’s a bit weird to wish someone you don’t know personally a happy birthday. He won’t see it either. Birthdays are celebrated every day. It’s no big deal. I don’t care how and with who someone has a birthday. If it isn’t someone I know and who I actually interact with. Wishing a happy birthday to a stranger is a bit strange. I don’t know why I should feel that way. It isn’t like I’m ever gonna meet him. That’s only in my fantasies where my sanctuary is. There he would actually like me the way I like him. In real life, not so much.

But any way. Happy birthday, Tom Hiddleston.

My very own mind palace

Source: http://www.leadernetworks.com/tag/the-social-mind

A sanctuary doesn’t have to be a place that exists. It can also be in the mind. Sherlock has a mind palace but so do I. It’s not the same kind he has though. Mine is more like a place for my thoughts and feelings that I usually don’t show to other people. It’s an escape from reality. If I didn’t have a place where I can collect my thoughts, I would feel depressed and life in general would be much harder to handle. Some of those thoughts I write in this blog or in fan fiction. Besides writing is cheaper than going to therapy.

Sometimes I’m so deep in thought, nothing is disturbing my concentration. I can listen to music at the same time I’m in my mind palace. It’s only if there’s talking and can lose my focus. Even if I was in my thoughts I can still hear if someone wants my attention. That’s one of my strengths, observant. That’s something not a lot of people have. It can make people upset if I don’t answer them. But I actually do hear even if it doesn’t show.

If I didn’t use my mind as a sanctuary I would get mad. I need a place where I can live in my fantasy world. In that world everything goes as I want it to. If I could live in a different world than I would want to live in there. I think the reason why I sometimes get to my fantasy world is because the bad experiences I had since I was 6 years old. I think about things I wish I could experience and how thing could go. Sometimes I’m a different person in them. It’s not that I don’t like myself, it’s more about getting away for a while. A holiday from yourself, if you will.

I love writing fan fiction. People who read them don’t actually realise I put a lot of myself in them. I’m not much into writing things in detail. I write them in English so my vocabulary is limited. I’m not very good at describing a person in detail. Sometimes I struggle with it so I usually don’t bother with it so much. I mostly write about people who already exist so I feel it’s not very important. I rather concentrate on the plot. I’m not writing a novel after all. I write them because it’s fun and its good practise. When I read fan fiction I wrote years ago and compared them to what I write now, I’ve got better.
That’s where I use my mind palace. I think about a story in my mind and sometimes I close my eyes to imagine how things look. I have to get my thoughts out of my mind somehow. I get to that fantasy place when I feel life is being a pain but I also go there when life is bearable. I’ve always loved writing stories and been good at it. Reading a book is not the only way to develop your imagination. Other people read books, I read fan fiction.

So there you go. My sanctuary is my mind palace. It’s a place I go to whatever I’m feeling. It’s good for collecting thoughts but also a place where I go when I’ve lost something. I close my eyes where I go through my mind and try to remember where I saw the object last. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don’t. In a way I do have a mind palace like Sherlock, except I don’t solve crimes. If you don’t have a special sanctuary, then try your mind. It’s free and you can take it anywhere.