Tag: scared

Bloganuary: Nothing to be scared of

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woman looking scared
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What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

Bloganuary 2024

I wouldn’t call it being scared, but becoming an entrepreneur is worrying. I’ve been to a course about it and researched about it. But the course was some years ago. I still haven’t gotten around to it. It’s a big step to take and many things to think about. You can’t claw your way to success. At least I don’t have it in me. What worries me the most is the financial prospect of it. The other is if I have enough skills to run a design business. I don’t have work experience in the field I’ve studied. I don’t even know what kind of services I want to provide. I don’t know if I can ask the right questions and if I fulfil clients’ requests. Even getting clients is a worrying thing. Networking is not my strongest suit, and neither is my portfolio. I only have schoolwork there. I don’t have any family or friends for whom I could do projects to fill it. I’m like a fish out of water compared to others. Many graphic design entrepreneurs have the same services and much more experience than I do. How can I compete with that? And they are younger too. They also show their faces, which I don’t want to do. It won’t help much if someone says I should do it because I’ve tried, but there never seems to be enough time to start.

If I got a part-time job, I could run a business on the side, but it is a different matter if I have the strength to do it after work. If I had a job, I would at least get paid. The trouble with having a job is getting up early in the morning. As an entrepreneur, you can have your own schedule and don’t need to go anywhere. You also don’t need to endure the pain of applying for jobs. If it was easy to find a client, becoming an entrepreneur would also be easier. It’s more challenging when you don’t have a great portfolio. The business owner makes it look so easy, but the truth isn’t as easy as it looks. Maybe I need more confidence in myself. I didn’t think entrepreneurship would be for me, but not finding a job has changed that thought. The other reason why I started to think about it was when I worked with clients during web design education in 2017. I could do the projects at my own pace, which felt good.

I should claw myself out of this insecurity and just do it, or I’ll regret it. I only need to get a grip on myself. I know I don’t want to be without work forever. Life must be something more than just being without anything to do. If no one else won’t give you a purpose, then you should give it to yourself.

Bloganuary: Conquered my biggest fear

Mia2 Comments
no more fear
Photo: Free WP photos

My biggest fear was dogs. I was chased by one when I was 6 years old. I was walking in the park with my mother when I started to run down the hill. Then a woman had her dog running free, and the dog began to chase me. I have never run so fast in my life. After that, whenever I saw a free dog, my legs started shaking, and my heart started beating fast. I avoided every opportunity where there was a dog. Even if they were on a leach, I was terrified. I couldn’t go to friends who had dogs. I was also scared of other animals. But for some reason, bunnies didn’t have the same effect. One friend had a cat, so they had to put it in another room when I visited. I told people I didn’t like pets, but I was scared of them. I didn’t dare to tell anyone because I thought they would let their pets attack me out of spite. Every time a dog approached me, my legs shook. Fear limits your life, and I thought I never get over it.

But I don’t know what happened years later. I didn’t do anything. My fear of dogs disappeared when I became an adult. I was over 30 or something. Suddenly, my legs weren’t shaking, and my heart was calm. If a dog smelled me, I wasn’t scared. I still don’t touch them, but I have conquered my biggest fear. It’s liberating and feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I don’t need to avoid dogs. I can visit a person with one without any fear. I fear other things (like needles) but it isn’t as bad as the one I had towards dogs. They are pretty lame compared to that one. Some fears disappear in time without reason, and some you need to face. Conquering fear is an achievement in itself, and it’s something to be proud of.