I dislike it when I do a lot of hard work, but in the end, they are futile anyway. It’s a waste of energy, so I prefer doing things with a meaning. Sometimes, when I write a blog post that doesn’t get much attention, I feel I should have done something else instead of writing. I had this feeling when I started to blog quite a lot. Today I still feel like that, but I accept all posts won’t interest people. I write to myself anyway. I would write even if I felt it was futile. If you don’t write, you won’t get better at it. My job is done if I can get at least one person to like what I write. It’s not a competition about how many likes a post receives. This is my 9th year of having this blog which is an excellent achievement for a person who gives up too quickly. I’ve learned to be more persistent. If I only would be one when it comes to other things in life.
I could have done so much more if I hadn’t given up, but you can’t turn back. You just need to look forward and learn from the past. It’s never too late to become better as a person or in whatever you do professionally. Things can feel futile but finding at least one positive thing makes you feel it wasn’t all that bad. I’ve studied photography because I thought I wanted to become a photographer. But that’s wasn’t meant to be. I’ve studied web design because I wanted to become a web designer, but that wasn’t meant to be either. Then came graphic design. All that studying haven’t got me very far. I still feel like I’m a rookie, but it doesn’t feel they’ve been futile. I can do all of those things and more. If I get bored with one thing, I can do something else. I always wanted to do different things. I can combine the things I’ve studied with each other. E.g. photography and graphic design. If I had learned about subjects I wasn’t interested in, things would have felt even more futile. My first education after compulsory school was health care, but I’ve learned how to make a bed, so the bed cheat stays in place. I also learned about psychology at the school, so it’s wasn’t entirely wasted. Maybe I have been persistent in other things in life too. It takes a lot to find what you want to do with your life. It takes longer for some, but it’s not about getting there before anyone else. It’s about the journey. Life is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. I’m only half of the way.
How the time goes by so fast. March already, and soon it’s April. I’ve been busy with career coaching, so I haven’t had the time to blog. We have 2-week on-the-job learning at the moment where you familiarize yourself with a job. I didn’t get any, so I stayed at my dad’s business. He’s a goldsmith. I tried to get to at least five places, but they couldn’t take anyone. I didn’t get any the last time I went to a career coaching. It could make me feel I’m not even qualified for free work. But I won’t take it personally. Many are still working from home. So there was no supervisor to show me the ropes. One week is left, and then the course continues for another week. The course has been on Teams, so it will be the first time we meet face to face. The March marches on in this spirit of things.
I don’t packrat educations. In every subject I’ve studied, there has always been something worthwhile. Some people might think I’m too indecisive and see it negatively. It’s better to know about many things, instead of just one. I only see it as an advantage. You should learn things that you like and not what others want you to. Learning should be fun and not something you need to do. The biggest problem is that I think I’m OK with the things I know how to do, but I don’t think I’m good enough. Maybe good enough to have something as a hobby, but not when it comes to working. Even experts have new things to learn, so you can improve in whatever you do. It doesn’t matter at what level you are. There is no such thing as perfect. As long as you like what you’re doing and be as good as possible. On the career coaching course, we concentrate on the positive things. Things that you are good at. That’s what you should do with everything in life. Some are good at this, and some are good at that. If there are things you don’t know, you should learn. Or just let someone who does know how to do them.
Day 14. I’ve had a lot of challenges in my life. Most of them are about education. I have studied things I wanted to. The challenge has been how to stay motivated. I always preferred short educations. The longest has been 2 years. Before I applied, I thought it felt long. In fact, it went pretty quickly. Finding friends has never been an easy task for me. That is a challenge in its self. I have a hard time fitting in. Feeling a part of a group and then trying to stay motivated on the education, that is hard. I’ve noticed through the years that being part of something helps to get through a challenge. I overcame the challenge with help from the teachers and the school psychologist I went to. Without that, I probably wouldn’t have passed the education.
I take you back to 2009, when school started. It was a basic examination in graphic design. Photography was also part of it which is the reason I applied. It was in another city, so I lived in a dorm. I didn’t like to live there. There were too many noisy people. I didn’t have any friends to spend the evenings with. My classmates lived at home. I made my own entertainment. I went outside for walks and so on. The problem with my classmates was that most of them were smokers. It’s a bit unfair for those who don’t. Smokers bond, and they get to know each other that way. Smoking is an awful habit, and I would never start to get friends. All I had in common was education. In time, I get to know them. I’m still in contact with one of them on Facebook. They were friendly people, and we did get along fine. I wished they would have been someone who didn’t smoke. Who knows what they talked about on the breaks. The second year was a little better. There were times I thought about quitting because I felt left out. I wasn’t sure I wanted to study the subject after all. But luckily, I did. There were things I wouldn’t have experienced if I had quit. I got an internship in a local newspaper, and we also learned about portfolios. In 2011 the school was over, but I didn’t continue with graphic design until 2018. I was into photography which was the reason why I studied it in the first place. The education was useful in the future.
I’ve had another challenge that I overcame, but it wasn’t as hard as the one above. In 2016, I studied web design. It was for a year. The challenge in that was when the job learning started. We had one in the Autumn and one in the Spring. We had to find clients by ourselves. I thought I wouldn’t have found anyone, but then I did. The first job learning was complex, but the client was very understanding. Coding was complicated for me. I didn’t know if I could finish the project. Even the start was a challenge. The first one wasn’t crucial. It was only practice. The 2nd job learning was more important. We had to have at least 3 clients. I found two in the end. It would be our last assignment which we would present in front of three evaluators. I was really nervous. I don’t like to do presentations. I don’t know how I got through it, but I did. I passed the course, and I didn’t have to do the presentation again. I had experience with clients and project work, so at least I have something to give. It’s a great feeling when you know you faced a challenge and overcame it. You can be proud of yourself, and the next challenge will feel easier.