Tag: school

A little puddle of pride

Mia2 Comments
puddle of water
Photo: Openverse

I haven’t written about this, but today (April 18) was the last day of my entrepreneurial studies. It took 20 days. I took one course like it in 2018, but I wanted an update. Not much has changed, and I knew about having a business before since my father had one for 30 years. I’ve also studied it alone. I enjoy the small things in life, so I have a little puddle of pride in finishing the course. It might not be significant for others, but you can still feel pride nonetheless.

I don’t know why I keep postponing entrepreneurship. During the course, I felt maybe I’m still not ready for it. I don’t have much job experience in graphic design. Many of my classmates in the course were confident they would have their own businesses. But I’m still torn between whether I should or shouldn’t. I applied for a graphic design job but won’t get an interview because I lack experience. The same would probably be true if I were an entrepreneur. My biggest concern is not finding clients. Then, it’s the financial side of it all. I’ve used to get money in my bank account every month. I don’t have enough confidence to find clients; if you don’t have any, you can’t pay your bills. Registering your company is the easy part. What comes to having a business is a different matter. If I had a better portfolio, things would be easier.

That little puddle of pride takes a bump in the confidence department. But I have to believe in myself and find a way to overcome the uncertainty. If I don’t become an entrepreneur, I might regret it later on. I only need to find the right time to start.

Dancer in the dark

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dancer in the dark
Photo by Khoa Vu00f5 on Pexels.com

My late mother loved to dance, and her aunt was a professional dancer. My late father met my mother at a dance. But me, no, I’m the one who only dances in the dark and alone. I like watching other people dance, though. I watched the Finnish version of Dancing with the Stars, which my mother also watched. I feel my feet don’t cooperate with my brain. I hated discos in school. Dancing was too embarrassing. Other people watching me feel awkward. Maybe they wouldn’t care how I dance, but I don’t want to do it in public.

We had ballroom dancing in one class in school, but even then, I didn’t dance. It isn’t my thing. It’s good exercise, but I don’t care. It isn’t my kind of fun. I once applied to dance education, but luckily, it got cancelled. I don’t know why I applied. It was one of the first education I did after compulsory school, so I had to apply for something. I couldn’t imagine being a dancer. I’m too clumsy for that. I admire people who are great dancers. People who can dance like Michael Jackson are amazing. Especially young kids. For me, it’s easier to dance in my head than for real.

I will remain the dancer in the dark, and there I should stay. I leave the dance to those who like it and can do it right. I will remain to be the viewer.

Bloganuary: I wanna be loved by you

Mia2 Comments
rock giving a heart to another smaller rock
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Bloganuary 2024

The words, I love you, have never been used in my home. But caring about one another is love, too. You don’t need to say those words. Showing that you care is love, which is more important. If you love me, show me how I say.

I feel love when someone shows they care. My parents have shown me they do. Especially my mother. She was also dedicated to how I did in school and kept in touch with my teachers. She always worried about me. Sometimes, it was a little too much for my liking. Even when she was sick, she still worried about how I would manage. I knew she meant well, even if it sometimes agitated me. Now, there are times I wish she was still alive. I wouldn’t need to meet all the problems that might be ahead with my father. Honestly, I’ve felt a little lost after she passed away. She knew about things my father didn’t, so I could ask her for advice. My father always thought about his work, so my mother was the caretaker. This wasn’t a positive example because it also brought sadness.

If I could hatch again from the eggshell of life, I wish I could have the same family without illnesses and deaths. My big sister was a significant part of my life. It was short, but I felt loved by her. She was excited when I was born. I was only 6 when she died, so I don’t have many memories of her besides the photos and videos of her. Sometimes, I think about how things would be if she were still alive. Losing a family member at an early age changes a person. Thinking about the positive memories makes it feel better.

sisters
Me and my big sister, Nina

The closest people in your life make you feel loved. When the world gets cold, your family is the one to count on. They don’t need to say they love you because those are only words. Showing them how is the key to one’s life.