Only human after all

human eye
Photo by Ruslan Alekso on Pexels.com

“I’m only human, flesh and blood; I’m made”

That’s what Human League sings in the song “Human”. It’s an 80s band if you didn’t know. I’m not a robot who can’t show emotions. Right now, I’m upset. Nothing works. I can’t play Angry Birds on Facebook. Grammarly doesn’t check my spelling on this post. But then it does it again. I can’t stand it when things don’t work. I should take a deep breath and calm down, but still, I don’t. I can’t help being emotional. Sometimes I just want to scream. And maybe cry. There are so many things that irritate me, and most of those are other people. Especially stupid people. Those who with no common sense. Were they dropped on the head as a child? Or maybe their parents were just dumb. Stupid people get stupid kids. It must be difficult to be stupid. Then again, some are so stupid, they don’t know they are. The world is full of them and other idiots too. As long as you don’t sink to their level. There are smart people in the world too. Stupidity comes in many forms. People who think they’re clever are actually stupid.

It has been proved during the Covid. Some people think the whole pandemic doesn’t even exist. So people just get it, and some die just for fun? They probably believe in conspiracy theories. JFK wasn’t murdered. Man didn’t walk on the moon. And those kinds of things. They act like spoilt brats. They don’t want to wear a mask. They don’t want to keep their distance. They want to live the way they always had. They have become somewhat obsolete. A shame it’s mostly young people. How selfish can someone be anyway? I hate people who only think about what is good for them. How can someone be so in love with parties, and being with friends, not caring at all? The attitude toward this disease is still arrogant. Do they think this vaccine will make it all go away? If we don’t all work together, Covid will be here for years. Should we need to tide young people to their beds or what? Covid is such a nice thing to have. Let’s not care at all. If we just close our eyes and wish it will disappear. So what if old people die? They gonna die anyway. If you live in denial and selfish like that, it will come back and bite you. Karma is a bitch. In Finland, we don’t have a curfew, but maybe soon we will. I think only young people should have it. They are the ones spreading the disease with their stupid parties and gatherings. Decent people shouldn’t need to suffer because certain people don’t care about anything else besides themselves. Sometimes I’m ashamed of humankind. Its unbelievable people like this are alive.

Yet again, I’m wasting my time on this. No one cares if I post this on Twitter. No likes my latest photos on Instagram again, so I have to like my own posts. Why do I bother anyway? It’s not a question; it’s an observation. They should have an edit button on both Twitter and Instagram. Whatever, hashtags don’t help. I still get nada likes. At least I get likes on WordPress from time to time. So bored with social media. I also put LinkedIn on private, so at least I can keep up with things I’ve studied and work. I’m not surprised people get depressed. Using social media makes you feel even more lonely. The best cure is to write your thoughts down or try to find someone to talk to. Sleeping helps, too, if you’re feeling down. Deep depression is a different thing, which I don’t have. Hang on there. It can’t last forever. Enjoying the small things because big things are harder to digest. Best of luck to you all.

Nothing unexpected ever happens

Made in Canva

This is another boring post. Nothing unexpected ever happens anyway. The only thing that has happened is that this blog now has over 800 likes. Small yay. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a weirdos magnet. I don’t mean this blog. It’s more about social media. I don’t know if I bother to use it as much anymore. I rarely get any reactions to my tweets. It depends on the subject, though. I never get decent followers. Maybe I’m being chased by bots. I’m not even sure my followers on Twitter are real people. The same with Instagram. Some of them are real people. But they’re just there. Using social media as a hobby isn’t a big deal. I have no luck in the business one either.

I don’t know why I write this blog post. I have nothing to say. I could have only let it be. I’m so boring, and no one truly cares. No one is maybe a tad extreme, though. Sometimes only writing to myself isn’t enough. Why bother to do anything? Everything is so boring. They were boring long before covid. Nothing unexpected happens to me anyway. If my life was a TV series, it would the most boring ever. I’m so untalented too. My work never gets mentioned on someone’s Instagram. It makes me feel down every time this place (Helsinki Design School) shows their current students work on their account. My assignment wasn’t that good, and I still blow at it. I will never become a graphic designer—any designer for that matter. Many of my former schoolmates have probably moved on, and who knows what kind of great achievements they already have. I’m mostly disappointed in myself for being such a lazy person. I can only blame myself for not being brave enough. I also have awful ideas. Or no ideas at all, so I don’t feel like practising it either.

I don’t feel like writing this post anymore. I only want to watch videos on Youtube or something else online. So nothing unexpected ever happens. Well, I don’t want drama anyway.

Let’s not jinx it

jinx
Made in Canva

Have you heard the saying, if you talk about it, you might jinx it? If there isn’t, then there should be. The sports commentators usually talk about how things might go, and the next, it does happen. For example, in alpine skiing, the commentator says, I hope they don’t drive off, but then the skier does. The same goes for having plans. You shouldn’t tell about them to anyone before you make sure it will become something. But sometimes that doesn’t work either.

I believe I have jinxed a lot of things without knowing it. Or maybe I’m just jinxed. I never get lucky in anything. I shouldn’t expect too much from others. Just because you have things to say, it doesn’t mean everyone else has. Like in writing fiction. When I post my stories online, I don’t get many comments. Even if I have written the story, I would have reactions to them. Sometimes one person might react to them, but not so many others. If the story has a drama part, I don’t get any comments. If I was the reader, I would have things to say. It’s not the end of the world if no one comments, though. I usually write the stories for myself anyway. But sometimes it would be nice if some did give some feedback. Mostly I get likes, but I wish people would comment more on them. Compared to what other stories get, the other writers get much more reactions to their stories than mine. It feels my stories are not good enough to comment on. Therefore I am jinxed. Sometimes it feels I shouldn’t post any stories online. Why am I wasting my brain on writing fiction if I don’t get any likes or comments anyway? But then why shouldn’t I? I love writing fiction, so why should I stop. It doesn’t matter if someone else gets more. I write stories I want to read. That’s the reason why I do it. It’s great if someone likes them too.

I think I’m jinxed on social media too. Not in most places, but on Instagram, mostly. I won’t take it personally if I don’t get likes to my posts. I think the more you have followers, the more you get likes. I only have 23 followers. I don’t know how many of those are real. I use many hashtags and all that, but still, I get only a few likes. I don’t know how it works. I have this love/hate relationship with Instagram. I’ve had it since 2016, and now I have a newer and better phone too. I guess I can be happy I get at least some likes. I also have a business Instagram, but I don’t have much to put in there. I don’t know if I want to post much in there because I’m a bit paranoid it will go the same as it has with the other account. I don’t know how you can promote your business on Instagram anyway. You can’t even click on links in the posts. You need to go to the profile to see links. Facebook would be much easier for that. It feels like anything I put online; it all disappears into nowhere. Someone must see it because why would I get any likes anyway. At least I get likes from my cousin. I’ve used social media mostly for fun, so I haven’t stopped posting there. Too many people only use it to get likes and followers. I think I wrote in a blog post about Instagram being a popularity contest. I can’t find it now. Anyway, that’s what it is. Getting likes does make a person feel loved, but that feeling doesn’t take long.

Jinxed or not, at least I get to photograph a duck.

I better put the kettle on and repost this since this post didn’t get a single like. I guess I have to like my own posts then. Maybe I jinxed it. Perhaps I should make this blog private. It’s like talking to a wall sometimes. Like on social media, in general. Maybe I should take off the like button altogether. I’m so disappointed right now. So bye bye.