Repost: My life is not an open book

February 18, 2023 MiaLeave a comment

Originally published on January 27, 2017

male hands holding an open book — ©️Mia Salminen

What you see is what you get, doesn’t really apply to me. I have a filter that protects me from prying eyes. It’s not that I want to hide the real me from others but I’m an introvert and we’re careful. I’ve also learned to be careful from past experiences. At home I can be myself but in public, I’m reserved. I have thoughts some might not understand. My life is not an open book and I want to keep it private. If I open up to a person, it’s someone I trust. The only one who knows the real me, is myself. Not even my parents knew. They only knew what I was when I was younger. I’ve never told them I write this blog for example. Some things you just want to keep to yourself. You need to do it. If I told everyone everything about myself, the mystery would be lost. That’s what life should be about. If you know everything about a person then there’s no surprises. What kind of life would it be?

People post about what they do on social media. Some keep updating things they’re doing at that moment. Who they talk to and where they are. I find that boring. I don’t care what you ate, if you took a shower, baked a cake or went to a birthday party. I don’t care about what your friends are doing or who they got engaged to. That’s what I keep seeing on Facebook. On Twitter I have ‘only’ 6125 tweets in 7 years I’ve been there. I don’t tweet nonsense. From time to time I do post things I do but that’s not regularly like most people do. I’m not trying to make a world record of tweets. When I have something important to say, I tweet it. I also hate selfies. Every time someone post one, I totally ignore it. Especially celebrities. Like they weren’t enough in the public eye already. If I want to see photos of them, I look for real photos taken by pros. Since camera phones were invented people think they’re all photographers.

Everyone seems to want to be like everybody else. I don’t want to be like everyone. I have a natural filter and know what to tell about myself online. If you read my about page, you know why I don’t post private things. Everybody seems to write about that. I dare to be different. Even though I have Instagram, I don’t post there much. To be honest, I find it a bit boring. It’s just isn’t my thing. I was excited at first when I could finally join last year but now I’m not that much. I follow 14 different one’s and that’s fine. For example I follow @cutepetclub because there’s so many cuties in it. Pets that is. I like looking at other people’s posts but when it comes to posting myself, I’m not that keen anymore. Sometimes I just scroll without looking because let’s face it, what people post there is boring.

I don’t have the urge to get people’s attention and that’s the same in real life. One on one conversations is good enough for me. I get really uncomfortable if someone looks at me. I wouldn’t make Youtube videos because I feel uneasy in front of a camera. It was different when I was a kid. I was cute then. I leave those things to others. I don’t go after things because they’re popular. I’m not the victim of commercials. It’s easy to judge someone by the first impression but I’m more than what people see when they meet me. People give up too easily when they do. That’s one of the reasons I find it hard to meet new people. It’s really their loss and not mine. I’m proud of who I am and if I were someone else, I would be my friend. I always say I’m my own best friend because who knows me best than myself.

Bloganuary: Repost: Achievement doesn’t come easy

January 11, 2023 Mia2 Comments

Originally published 2022/06/15

Puzzle bits on a brown table — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Life is a challenge. To achieve something, you need to go through a long process. You can’t wait for things to happen. Achievement doesn’t come easy. It doesn’t need to be anything significant. Some people think that if you haven’t achieved anything big, you haven’t had any real success. But that doesn’t define it. If you’ve struggled through and overcome a problem, that’s an achievement. You don’t need to be wealthy, famous or popular among other people to feel you’ve succeeded in something.

My achievements might not mean anything to others, but for me, they’re everything. They are all my personal achievements. There have been times I wanted to quit, but I kept going anyway. I studied things I wanted, but there was always a doubt that it might not be the right one. I never wanted long-time studies. Two years are the longest. I couldn’t do something that took 4 years or more. Especially when I get older. It’s a shame that despite my efforts in all that studying, I have never got a job. Only one, but that was two years ago, and I was still technically unemployed. Maybe I’m just not that good after all. I don’t have any achievements when it comes to jobs. It feels like I’m being left out. If it’s a job search or posting things on social media. I just want to give them both up because it’s all in vain. Even blogging feels like a waste of time. It’s not easy to stay motivated when everybody else seems to succeed in what they do. Maybe people have forgotten that when someone posts online are supposed to be active. Like posts, maybe comment. Perhaps I’m too dull, and the things I post are uninteresting to others. It might sound pathetic, but I like my own posts on social media because then, at least, it doesn’t feel unnecessary.

It’s not easy trying to achieve something. Maybe it’s easier for some. For me, getting a driver’s license is a big deal. In a month, it’s been a year. I thought I would never get through the driving lessons and the theory. I failed it 26 years ago, but now it is easier. I wish people would have been more excited for me, but I guess it’s no big deal. I was glad to have achieved it. It’s gonna take a lot of practice to get better at it. I have only driven my dad’s car alone once, but that was only a short drive, and there wasn’t much traffic. Driving on the motorway is too scary, and I don’t like driving in traffic. It takes more than a year to learn the process of driving a car. As long as I don’t drive into something or someone, then it’s okay.

I enjoy the small achievements I get. Getting this post finished is one of them. I don’t know what else to do to get some attention to it, but I still write for myself, and that should be enough for me.

My meander thoughts

August 8, 2022 MiaLeave a comment

It's time to inspire text — Made in Canva

Recently my brain has been on holiday. I don’t feel like thinking about what to do in the Autumn. Besides the filming course at Helsinki Design School. I’m indecisive, so my thoughts can meander in my head. What I felt at the beginning of the year was not the same. It’s still summer, and my brain is too tired to think about anything serious. My summer plans are already done. I saw Duran Duran and Toto yesterday. Some photos from the concert are below.

I don’t know what I want to do anymore. I don’t know what kind of job I want to do. Time moves so fast. The last time I had a job was 2 years ago. That was a lifetime ago. I get all kinds of suggestions on LinkedIn, but they’re all wrong. The demands in work ads are impossible. I don’t know if I want to do any graphic design work. I might have studied the subject, but it doesn’t mean I can do any of it. I am not motivated to practise the topic because the job search is complex. Becoming an entrepreneur isn’t easy, either. Many of them have photos of themselves online, which I don’t want to do. One is enough. I don’t know if it’s mandatory or not. I can’t find any answers online to that question. I’m a bit disappointed with social media. No matter what I post, I have to like my own posts. How sad is that?! Or I don’t know. At least posting there isn’t a waste of time. Promoting your work online is crucial for an entrepreneur, but I don’t get many likes on my personal accounts, either. Besides, most people only like posts but don’t become clients.

I’m also disappointed people don’t get as excited as I am about the things I experience. Maybe it isn’t anything glamorous and just boring to them. Maybe my interests are just different from others. That’s nothing new. On Facebook, I only post for my own amusement and to fill my memories spot. It’s always nice to see what I did a year before or some years ago. Sometimes I wish my mind wouldn’t be so meandering, but what can you do? It’s a part of my personality, and I shouldn’t stress too much about it.