Blowing one’s horn

Musicians blowing in traditional German horns
Musicians blowing in traditional German horns by Markus Spiske is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Blowing my own horn is not my thing. That must be one of the reasons why I can’t find a job. I don’t know how to brag about myself. It’s also a Finnish thing. We’re not good at it. It’s also an introvert thing. We don’t want to brag about ourselves and make ourselves something special. We like to be low key. But that doesn’t seem to be acceptable in the world. You’re nothing if you don’t want to blow your own horn. It shouldn’t be that way. We should be allowed to be ourselves and not pretend to be something we’re not. Some people seem to have problems with quiet people. Only because you don’t want to be a blabbermouth doesn’t mean you’re strange. Listening to people talk about things you don’t care about is stressful. Noisy people have the same effect.

Because I don’t want to blow my own horn, I don’t know if I could be a good entrepreneur. You need to be a lot of different things. A marketing person, a salesperson, a public speaker and someone who doesn’t give up easily. Most importantly, be good enough at what you do. Maybe it’s only me who thinks I’m good at something. Perhaps the reason why I won’t get hired is that I’m not good enough. They instead take someone with natural talent. I don’t have an impressive portfolio, and I don’t have what the employers are looking for. I’m not confident in blowing my own horn. No matter what I post on social media, I get some likes and sometimes nothing. If I don’t get much attention in my personal accounts, how can I get it on the business one? If I get any comments, it’s usually spam. I wouldn’t trust anyone. I feel it’s unnecessary work if I promote things on social media. It’s not easy to be ignored as a job seeker or/and an entrepreneur. I don’t know how to say something about myself or what I can do. At least when it comes to making it to words. It’s incredible how things disappear from your head when you should think about them. It has nothing to do with memory problems. I tend not to think about complicated stuff like that.

Maybe I’ve chosen the wrong path when it comes to careers. It seems you need to blow your own horn because the competition is tough. There are so many people in the design business, and I don’t know how to stand out. Maybe my destiny is to be without a job. I never wanted an ordinary job, but it has backfired. Only because I don’t know how to blow my own horn.

No work, no play makes her bromide

Photo by Martino Grua on Pexels.com

Sometimes I feel people think I’m a bromide person, especially on social media. My life is not exciting. I have no work, and my interests are not excited either. At least not what other people have. Even if I did work, I still wouldn’t write about it. Life is more than work anyway. People who talk about it a lot have nothing else in their life. Only because I don’t go to parties or anything other people call fun. It isn’t my kind. For me, fun is watching movies, doing things I like, watching comedies, take a bike trip, listening to music. If there are people who think that’s dull, then too bad. I don’t go around telling people parties are boring. I don’t like loud people and loud noises. It’s idiotic and boring to act like an imbecile. I despise that kind of behaviour. I don’t get many followers on Instagram or Twitter. I’ve had Instagram since 2016, and I only have 25 people. The most likes on a post have been 25 or 26. I’ve been on Twitter since 2009, and I only have 75 followers. I’ve never been popular in real life, and I’m not that on social media either. It’s a mystery why some people get many followers, and some not so much. I don’t really mind how many I have, but sometimes it feels useless to post anything. Especially when it comes to posting photos. It was a disappointment in the beginning, but now I don’t expect to get more than 10 likes. Even if I don’t get a single like, I still will be posting on social media. I’m used to “talking to a wall.” Using social media for fun is just that. I don’t care if some people find me bromide. They just don’t know me. Who does care if a person is dull or not? It’s only a matter of opinion. Not everyone can or want to draw attention to themselves.

One of the reasons while I fail in job interviews is that I can’t play fake. They expect you to be something you’re not. You can’t be yourself even if they say you should. That’s only in some kind of fantasy world. The other reason I won’t get hired is that I have nothing special to offer to them. I don’t know why you should be like a celebrity or glamourous to get a job. I’m only a blank and bromide person with a grey personality. Getting chosen for a job is like gym in school, always getting picked last. You know you’re good at sport, but other people still don’t choose you. We all can’t be Youtube stars. The world needs plain people. If someone sees me as bromide, then it’s not my problem. I know myself better than anyone else, and that’s what matters.

Only human after all

human eye
Photo by Ruslan Alekso on Pexels.com

“I’m only human, flesh and blood; I’m made”

That’s what Human League sings in the song “Human”. It’s an 80s band if you didn’t know. I’m not a robot who can’t show emotions. Right now, I’m upset. Nothing works. I can’t play Angry Birds on Facebook. Grammarly doesn’t check my spelling on this post. But then it does it again. I can’t stand it when things don’t work. I should take a deep breath and calm down, but still, I don’t. I can’t help being emotional. Sometimes I just want to scream. And maybe cry. There are so many things that irritate me, and most of those are other people. Especially stupid people. Those who with no common sense. Were they dropped on the head as a child? Or maybe their parents were just dumb. Stupid people get stupid kids. It must be difficult to be stupid. Then again, some are so stupid, they don’t know they are. The world is full of them and other idiots too. As long as you don’t sink to their level. There are smart people in the world too. Stupidity comes in many forms. People who think they’re clever are actually stupid.

It has been proved during the Covid. Some people think the whole pandemic doesn’t even exist. So people just get it, and some die just for fun? They probably believe in conspiracy theories. JFK wasn’t murdered. Man didn’t walk on the moon. And those kinds of things. They act like spoilt brats. They don’t want to wear a mask. They don’t want to keep their distance. They want to live the way they always had. They have become somewhat obsolete. A shame it’s mostly young people. How selfish can someone be anyway? I hate people who only think about what is good for them. How can someone be so in love with parties, and being with friends, not caring at all? The attitude toward this disease is still arrogant. Do they think this vaccine will make it all go away? If we don’t all work together, Covid will be here for years. Should we need to tide young people to their beds or what? Covid is such a nice thing to have. Let’s not care at all. If we just close our eyes and wish it will disappear. So what if old people die? They gonna die anyway. If you live in denial and selfish like that, it will come back and bite you. Karma is a bitch. In Finland, we don’t have a curfew, but maybe soon we will. I think only young people should have it. They are the ones spreading the disease with their stupid parties and gatherings. Decent people shouldn’t need to suffer because certain people don’t care about anything else besides themselves. Sometimes I’m ashamed of humankind. Its unbelievable people like this are alive.

Yet again, I’m wasting my time on this. No one cares if I post this on Twitter. No likes my latest photos on Instagram again, so I have to like my own posts. Why do I bother anyway? It’s not a question; it’s an observation. They should have an edit button on both Twitter and Instagram. Whatever, hashtags don’t help. I still get nada likes. At least I get likes on WordPress from time to time. So bored with social media. I also put LinkedIn on private, so at least I can keep up with things I’ve studied and work. I’m not surprised people get depressed. Using social media makes you feel even more lonely. The best cure is to write your thoughts down or try to find someone to talk to. Sleeping helps, too, if you’re feeling down. Deep depression is a different thing, which I don’t have. Hang on there. It can’t last forever. Enjoying the small things because big things are harder to digest. Best of luck to you all.