Tag: studies

Hazy shades of ambivalent

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Many people don’t care about my unemployment, but I write about it anyway. It isn’t my fault no one wants to hire me. I got another rejection from a graphic design job. All those studies I had haven’t gotten me anywhere. I’m getting tired of trying to find something to apply to. I must apply for at least one monthly, or they will take my benefits away. I have ambivalent feelings about the whole job thing. I will never get experience when I can’t even get an internship. I’m getting too old for this shit. I feel like a failure when it comes to work. It’s like people think I want to be unemployed. I’m a healthy person, so that isn’t why I haven’t got a job. The only fault I have is my lack of work experience and my atopic skin, so I can’t do specific jobs. Other than that, I should get something. I only get suggestions for jobs I’m not suited for. I want to do something with graphic design and photography. But how can I get experience when I only get rejections?

I’m worried I’m not suitable for becoming an entrepreneur, either. Even if I had gone to a course about it. Getting people to notice you feels like hard work, and all that paperwork sounds overwhelming. I can’t decide what to do. I don’t have the confidence to succeed without having job experience in the field. I can hardly get any likes on my personal social media accounts. What if I don’t find clients, and if I do, how do I do things? It’s been a while since I designed anything. I try to make up fake projects, but I never have time. I have too much free time on my hands and too much sleep. If I had a good reason to wake up earlier, I would. I should get a grip on myself. I have no one who can give me a pep talk anymore. My late mother was good at that. My late dad wasn’t the same since he had other things on his mind. He had a business, so entrepreneurship should be in my blood. He made jewellery, but my field is different. My cousin has a business, and also my late grandfather, who I never met because he died when my mother was a child. A few people in my family tree were entrepreneurs, so it wouldn’t be surprising if I decided to do it, too.

If there is a positive thing about being unemployed, it is that I can do things that interest me. I can go places without having to think about whether I get off work or not. The downside is the financial side, and the other is not having human contact. Life can become one-sided if you don’t do something else for a change. I wish I wasn’t forced to apply for jobs when there is nothing suitable to apply to. There is more to life than wasting your time on writing applications. Especially when you know you won’t even get an interview. I wish I could leave this wheel of job search forever. I can either accept my current fate or do something about it.

“Why are these things never clear” Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Bloganuary: Dream job in a tangled web

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sleeping person with book on face
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What’s your dream job?

Bloganuary 2024

Wouldn’t it be great if you got paid for sleeping? That would be a dream job for me. But getting back to reality. My dream job is in a tangled web. I like to do many things, which was difficult when I decided what kind of job I wanted. I always wanted to do something creative and something that wasn’t a regular job. I’ve studied this and that, but I had no luck when it came to getting job experience. They’ve mostly been short internships, but employers don’t appreciate them. I’ve never been a go-getter, so maybe I haven’t gotten anywhere because of that. I’ve had dream jobs, but they’ve changed through the years. Perhaps I’ve been naïve for thinking someone would give me a job after my different studies.

When I was 6, I wanted to become a baker because I liked to help Mum in the kitchen. But then I realised you need to get up early in the morning. I’m not a morning person. Once, as a kid, I wanted to own a candy/sweet shop because I thought I could eat them as much as I wanted. But of course, you can’t. It was only something I thought about. Some people know since they are kids what occupation they want and work for it to reach their goals. For some, it can change through the years. Maybe I’ve looked for something that doesn’t exist. When I finally knew what I wanted to do, I didn’t even get an internship to get field experience. Some employers I’ve sent applications to don’t even get in touch. Job search, in general, is a tangled web, and it’s mentally draining trying to impress people. Then you don’t even get a thank you note.

A dream job would be something where you can control what you do. You can work whenever you feel like it, and you would get paid enough so you wouldn’t need to worry about your financials. No one wants to admit they want a well-paid job without struggling to succeed. But you should also love what you do, regardless of your salary. I couldn’t do a job if I didn’t like doing it. I don’t want to be rich. I only want a job that I’m excited about. I’ve been in enough workplaces I didn’t want to be in. Life should be about what you enjoy and not what others want you to do. Money is nice, but it shouldn’t be the only motivation.

 

My unearthly plans for studies

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I must be crazy for applying for the 3rd time for the same Helsinki Design School, but there I am again. I didn’t get a job after studying there for the last two. A lot of new experiences, yes, but that’s about it. This time it’s about making movies and the things that go with it. Some might think spending money on this school is wasted, but it’s my money. I don’t have time to study for more than a year. I get to go to places that I wouldn’t usually get to. Last time I got to go to an advertising company and a print company. Maybe it’s just another education to fill my resume, but at least I do something. It’s a part-time education, so I can search for employment or do something else on the side. I love learning new things. Call it unearthly, but that’s the way it is.

One of my first educations after elementary school was screenplay writing. There was also about filming and editing. I’ve loved movies since I was a kid, so it was natural that I applied for education about them. At the time, I thought about becoming a screenplay writer, but then my interests got elsewhere. I’ve seen behind-the-scenes footage for different movies a lot of times. People think it’s easy to make movies, but there are so many things you need to do. I studied the subject a long time ago so this education I’m going to will be a good update. I only recently realized that what I’ve studied in the past has a lot to do with movies. There are writing, graphic design and photography. The only thing that is missing is sounds, music and wardrobe. There are a lot of exciting things to study in the training program.

The education takes 11 months. Meeting in school two times a month and self-studying. There will also be visiting a film studio and professionals as teachers. There will be early mornings for me again, but in a way, they can be pretty nice. The education begins on October 12 and ends in August 2023. I’m looking forward to it. At least I have that if I don’t find something else to do. I don’t study anymore to get a job; I learn for myself. It’s only a plus side if I do get something else.