Recently my brain has been on holiday. I don’t feel like thinking about what to do in the Autumn. Besides the filming course at Helsinki Design School. I’m indecisive, so my thoughts can meander in my head. What I felt at the beginning of the year was not the same. It’s still summer, and my brain is too tired to think about anything serious. My summer plans are already done. I saw Duran Duran and Toto yesterday. Some photos from the concert are below.
I don’t know what I want to do anymore. I don’t know what kind of job I want to do. Time moves so fast. The last time I had a job was 2 years ago. That was a lifetime ago. I get all kinds of suggestions on LinkedIn, but they’re all wrong. The demands in work ads are impossible. I don’t know if I want to do any graphic design work. I might have studied the subject, but it doesn’t mean I can do any of it. I am not motivated to practise the topic because the job search is complex. Becoming an entrepreneur isn’t easy, either. Many of them have photos of themselves online, which I don’t want to do. One is enough. I don’t know if it’s mandatory or not. I can’t find any answers online to that question. I’m a bit disappointed with social media. No matter what I post, I have to like my own posts. How sad is that?! Or I don’t know. At least posting there isn’t a waste of time. Promoting your work online is crucial for an entrepreneur, but I don’t get many likes on my personal accounts, either. Besides, most people only like posts but don’t become clients.
I’m also disappointed people don’t get as excited as I am about the things I experience. Maybe it isn’t anything glamorous and just boring to them. Maybe my interests are just different from others. That’s nothing new. On Facebook, I only post for my own amusement and to fill my memories spot. It’s always nice to see what I did a year before or some years ago. Sometimes I wish my mind wouldn’t be so meandering, but what can you do? It’s a part of my personality, and I shouldn’t stress too much about it.
I got my driver’s license card in the post last week. Now I feel like a real driver. I’ve driven my dad’s car a couple of times, and it’s different since it’s an older car. The first drive was to the car wash. It was a little scary to drive to the machine. Car wash machines have always been scary to me. When I was a kid, I waited outside. The big brushes scared me. Dad was with me. I don’t dare to drive the car alone until I learn to drive it. I’m glad the driving lessons and the driving test is over. I was too worried to make mistakes, so it was more nerve-wracking. The real driving starts now. I should drive a little every day, but I never seem to have the time. All that matter right now is that I have achieved something this year. It’s not over yet, though. The UX/UI design course is over soon. I only have one more video meeting left.
When one thing is over, there should be something else. But I don’t know what. It’s been so hot, so I haven’t had the strength to think about it that much. Summer is still on, so I don’t feel like thinking about what to do in the Autumn.
Maybe it’s the hot summer or because I don’t get many likes with newer posts, but blogging isn’t the way it used to be. I don’t know if if I should break the silence or put on the brake with the whole thing. There are days I think I might write something, but other times I think why I should bother. It isn’t only blogging but writing in general. It feels like all that writing work are a waste of energy when it doesn’t get many likes. I don’t only write for myself. I also want others to read them. I wouldn’t put them online if I didn’t. It goes with blogging and posting fiction, also with social media. Sharing is caring, after all. I could just write things down on paper or private blog. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t post things only to get likes. Internet is a big place, and you never know if anyone actually reads or looks at what you post. They might only click on like by mistake.
I haven’t found a cure for cancer or any other great achievement, but I wish my posts would have more likes after nine years. At least older posts get likes from time to time. Sometimes it feels I’m only starting with blogging. I didn’t expect my blog would attract the same kind of attention as some other blogs do. My life is boring, so I have nothing existing to share. Getting likes or not is not the issue. I don’t know what to write in this blog anymore. Maybe I just need to put on the brake and have a break from blogging a while. Summer is a time when people are outside, so they don’t have time to read blogs. Especially when it’s hot, I’m too tired to think about anything important. When the hot weather stops, I might continue blogging. But you never know, I might still do it. I never know when inspiration strikes.