Tag: talking

Advent Calendar 2024 – Day 9

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Christmas balls, stars and light part 9
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Day 9

The worst feeling in the world is jittery. I used to hate it, but as the years have gone by, I’m not as jittery as I was when I was younger. I still don’t like giving speeches or talking in front of a big crowd. Talking to strangers is easier the older you get. You don’t have anyone who could speak for you. If you’re worried about talking to people, you don’t get anything done. I thought I would never get over my jittery when I was a child and a teenager. Even when I went to the store, I wanted to leave there as soon as possible. The more I interacted with other people, the less jitter I felt. Life experiences also make you feel confident and care less about what others might think about you. I still get jittery when I should call a stranger on the phone, and that’s something I should work on. I’m worried they won’t get the message I want to say, and things won’t happen as they should. That’s one of the reasons why I prefer writing an email. But you need to call on the phone for certain things.

Life is easier when you don’t feel jitter, but a little jitter isn’t bad. Everyone can feel it at first. Even people in the public eye might feel jitter in their stomachs before a speech or standing in front of an audience. No one has died of jittery. It doesn’t matter if we make mistakes. We’re human and not perfect. It’s not the end of the world if you screw up. Next time, you can do better. Besides, no one really cares if you make mistakes, and they might not even notice. Things feel much better once you no longer have that negative jitter in your stomach.

Not that fearless any longer

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I used to fear things but became more fearless as I got older. I guess it was because my mother died and I had to be. I didn’t like to talk to strangers, so I didn’t speak to them. It wasn’t because of fear; I felt awkward and wanted to leave. Still, there are days when I don’t feel like talking to anyone, but it isn’t about fear. It’s about being an introvert. Or maybe I don’t have the courage on that day. I think before I speak. Some days, I’m fearless and have no trouble talking to a stranger. The only thing I still fear is talking on the phone. No way I want to do that. I prefer Emails. I don’t answer unknown numbers. Unless it’s essential.

I’m also fearless when I drive a car. I’ve had my driver’s license for almost 3 years and didn’t know if I dared to drive alone. My dad was always with me, but now, when I had to drive alone for a month, I realised it wasn’t that bad. I guess I’ve learned to drive the car. That’s what experience gives you. I still don’t like driving in traffic or on the highway, though. I fear I get in the way or I crash into someone. I drive my dad’s car, which is an older car, so I had to learn how to drive that; it’s only now that I have enough confidence to drive it. The car was a new model in driving school, so driving was different. Both vehicles have a stick shift, but there were 6 gears in driving school when my dad’s car had 5. Driving is fun when you’re fearless.

I can be fearless when it comes to trying new things. Like food, but I want to know what it contains. I’ve cooked new things, and some of them have been good. I have even cooked it again. My mother and I used to try different recipes. She’s the reason why I know how to cook. When you cook yourself, you know what you get. The two ingredients I dislike the most are mushrooms and broccoli. I’m not so fond of cheese either, but in certain foods, it’s alright. I can’t stand it when they put mushrooms in many things. If there are, I take them out. I’m not that fearless that I eat anything.

Being fearless doesn’t mean parachute jumping or rock climbing. It can also be mentally fearless or being fearless in everyday situations. It can be a temporary feeling that might come back, or it may not. We’re all different and see the word differently. That’s something we have to appreciate in other people. You shouldn’t understate opinions about what the words mean to them. You can agree to disagree, but it’s pointless to argue about it. No one should be that fearless to hurt feelings.

Bloganuary: Don’t let me be misunderstood

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prove them wrong
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Day 9. All the people do is assume wrongly about me. Especially when I meet new people. They think I’m quiet because I don’t start talking to strangers. They don’t even bother getting to know me. It’s their problem and not mine. It’s an introvert thing. I only speak when I have something to say. If people would only bother to ask me something. Why must I be the first one to start anyway. I’m not good at starting conversations. I’ve tried to be more outgoing, but it feels weird. It’s not in my nature to do so. No one knows how it is to be me. If people knew me, they would see I’m not what they think I am. Don’t assume you know me because I’m more than meets the eye.

When I was younger, people thought I was quiet at home too. I was shy around other people, but I was totally the opposite at home. The people I’m close to know I have my own opinions. I’m not afraid to say what is on my mind. Out in public, you need to think about other people’s feelings. You can’t act the same as you do at home. I don’t hurt other people’s feelings on purpose. People think I don’t have opinions, but I do. I just don’t say anything because I don’t like conflicts. Sometimes I have nothing to say, period. I don’t know why I should talk all the time. I don’t like my voice that much.

It’s a shame the world is made for extroverts. If you’re not talkative, they overlook you. If it’s about finding friends or jobs. One of the reasons I’m not good at job interviews is that my answers are short. It doesn’t matter how much I prepare. I always forget to say what I’ve planned. Once when I was an intern in a newspaper, they said I wasn’t social enough. So because I didn’t babble nonsense at work, I’m not social? You can be that even if you don’t talk a lot. I’m an observer, and if I have things to say, I say it. I’m an introvert and not mute.

They say you should be yourself, but then when you are, they think you’re weird. Nothing is ever good enough. I’ve learned through the years that you can’t please other people. They will understand you if they want to, but if they misunderstand you, they will. You can only be the person you know you are. You should focus on the people who do understand you. At least a little.