The report of my trip to Saint Petersburg is delayed further but it’s nothing dramatic, I’ve just been lazy because of the hot weather lately.
Tag: The Daily Prompt
My very own mind palace
A sanctuary doesn’t have to be a place that exists. It can also be in the mind. Sherlock has a mind palace but so do I. It’s not the same kind he has though. Mine is more like a place for my thoughts and feelings that I usually don’t show to other people. It’s an escape from reality. If I didn’t have a place where I can collect my thoughts, I would feel depressed and life in general would be much harder to handle. Some of those thoughts I write in this blog or in fan fiction. Besides writing is cheaper than going to therapy.
Sometimes I’m so deep in thought, nothing is disturbing my concentration. I can listen to music at the same time I’m in my mind palace. It’s only if there’s talking and can lose my focus. Even if I was in my thoughts I can still hear if someone wants my attention. That’s one of my strengths, observant. That’s something not a lot of people have. It can make people upset if I don’t answer them. But I actually do hear even if it doesn’t show.
If I didn’t use my mind as a sanctuary I would get mad. I need a place where I can live in my fantasy world. In that world everything goes as I want it to. If I could live in a different world than I would want to live in there. I think the reason why I sometimes get to my fantasy world is because the bad experiences I had since I was 6 years old. I think about things I wish I could experience and how thing could go. Sometimes I’m a different person in them. It’s not that I don’t like myself, it’s more about getting away for a while. A holiday from yourself, if you will.
I love writing fan fiction. People who read them don’t actually realise I put a lot of myself in them. I’m not much into writing things in detail. I write them in English so my vocabulary is limited. I’m not very good at describing a person in detail. Sometimes I struggle with it so I usually don’t bother with it so much. I mostly write about people who already exist so I feel it’s not very important. I rather concentrate on the plot. I’m not writing a novel after all. I write them because it’s fun and its good practise. When I read fan fiction I wrote years ago and compared them to what I write now, I’ve got better.
That’s where I use my mind palace. I think about a story in my mind and sometimes I close my eyes to imagine how things look. I have to get my thoughts out of my mind somehow. I get to that fantasy place when I feel life is being a pain but I also go there when life is bearable. I’ve always loved writing stories and been good at it. Reading a book is not the only way to develop your imagination. Other people read books, I read fan fiction.
So there you go. My sanctuary is my mind palace. It’s a place I go to whatever I’m feeling. It’s good for collecting thoughts but also a place where I go when I’ve lost something. I close my eyes where I go through my mind and try to remember where I saw the object last. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don’t. In a way I do have a mind palace like Sherlock, except I don’t solve crimes. If you don’t have a special sanctuary, then try your mind. It’s free and you can take it anywhere.
On a journey and back again
Back from Saint Petersburg. Took over 300 photos so it will take some time before I get the report ready. That’s a journey I want to tell you about in later posts, dear readers.
When one journey ends, another begins. Actually life in general is a journey. Some have more and some have a less exciting ones. What I dislike the most is the tension I get when I experience unfamiliar things. It feels like my stomach is in a knot. It’s not anxiety, it’s just a temporary feeling that goes away after a while. It used to be much worse when I was younger. Even going to the unemployment agency was something I hated doing. Any social gatherings made me nervous. My heart was pounding like crazy and I kept thinking about everything that could go wrong. Even if my mother told me it’s just jitters and it will be a relief when it’s over, I was still nervous. She was right though which I only realised when I got older. It’s OK if you make a mistake. It’s human. Everyone gets nervous, even the famous ones.
Next journey I’m going to is an interview for a school I applied to. It’s in a small town in Western Finland. I sent the application before the holiday and there are gonna be an interview next month. It’s a Web Designer schooling, if anyone’s interested. I’m not very good at interviews so we’ll see how it goes. Since it’s in a small town, I’m a bit sceptic about how I’m gonna feel at home there if I get into the school. Living in a dorm again is a bit of a turn off. There are rooms for one but there are not many of those. Sharing a room with another is not my cup of tea. At least I get home on the weekends. The education takes about a year so maybe I manage. You never know what kind a journey it’s gonna be. Another concern is how to get there. The bus is the only thing but which one, that is the question. That’s another journey entirely.
There are some nice journeys and some bad. Even blogging is one. The difference is that you don’t need to go anywhere. I do like going to places but most times I don’t have the courage to do them. Some do things, I dream. If I lived in my head, the world would look different. In your mind things go they way you want them to. But then reality hits you and your dream bubble burst into pieces. If I go through life the way it is and I’m still around when I’m old, then I’ve done something right. My journey through life probably won’t be very eventful but it’s better be safe than sorry.
In my world 