Repost: My life is not an open book

Originally published on January 27, 2017

male hands holding an open book
©️Mia Salminen

What you see is what you get, doesn’t really apply to me. I have a filter that protects me from prying eyes. It’s not that I want to hide the real me from others but I’m an introvert and we’re careful. I’ve also learned to be careful from past experiences. At home I can be myself but in public, I’m reserved. I have thoughts some might not understand. My life is not an open book and I want to keep it private. If I open up to a person, it’s someone I trust. The only one who knows the real me, is myself. Not even my parents knew. They only knew what I was when I was younger. I’ve never told them I write this blog for example. Some things you just want to keep to yourself. You need to do it. If I told everyone everything about myself, the mystery would be lost. That’s what life should be about. If you know everything about a person then there’s no surprises. What kind of life would it be?

People post about what they do on social media. Some keep updating things they’re doing at that moment. Who they talk to and where they are. I find that boring. I don’t care what you ate, if you took a shower, baked a cake or went to a birthday party. I don’t care about what your friends are doing or who they got engaged to. That’s what I keep seeing on Facebook. On Twitter I have ‘only’ 6125 tweets in 7 years I’ve been there. I don’t tweet nonsense. From time to time I do post things I do but that’s not regularly like most people do. I’m not trying to make a world record of tweets. When I have something important to say, I tweet it. I also hate selfies. Every time someone post one, I totally ignore it. Especially celebrities. Like they weren’t enough in the public eye already. If I want to see photos of them, I look for real photos taken by pros. Since camera phones were invented people think they’re all photographers.

Everyone seems to want to be like everybody else. I don’t want to be like everyone. I have a natural filter and know what to tell about myself online. If you read my about page, you know why I don’t post private things. Everybody seems to write about that. I dare to be different. Even though I have Instagram, I don’t post there much. To be honest, I find it a bit boring. It’s just isn’t my thing. I was excited at first when I could finally join last year but now I’m not that much. I follow 14 different one’s and that’s fine. For example I follow @cutepetclub because there’s so many cuties in it. Pets that is. I like looking at other people’s posts but when it comes to posting myself, I’m not that keen anymore. Sometimes I just scroll without looking because let’s face it, what people post there is boring.

I don’t have the urge to get people’s attention and that’s the same in real life. One on one conversations is good enough for me. I get really uncomfortable if someone looks at me. I wouldn’t make Youtube videos because I feel uneasy in front of a camera. It was different when I was a kid. I was cute then. I leave those things to others. I don’t go after things because they’re popular. I’m not the victim of commercials. It’s easy to judge someone by the first impression but I’m more than what people see when they meet me. People give up too easily when they do. That’s one of the reasons I find it hard to meet new people. It’s really their loss and not mine. I’m proud of who I am and if I were someone else, I would be my friend. I always say I’m my own best friend because who knows me best than myself.

Repost: Allergic to you

dust on tarmac

I’m not allergic to food or animals but I am allergic to dust, sweat, strong smells and cigarette smoke. I’ve mentioned before about my atopic eczema. If I was allergic to food I could choose what to eat. But when it comes to fragrances, there are things and places that are difficult to avoid. When you’re around people, there’s always someone who wears too much perfume. Or a smoker who has just been outside. That’s the worse smell ever, a person who has just smoked. I can hardly breathe if someone like that is close by. When smoking was still allowed in pubs and cruise ships, my skin reacted to the smoke. It got itchy and I had dry skin for days. Luckily, they forbid smoking inside and now it’s much nicer to travel on ships. Except my skin still gets dry but that’s because of the bedclothes in the cabins that are washed with a strong detergent.

I can’t sweat so running and other “sweaty” things should be avoided. If I do run, my skin becomes itchy and it’s really unpleasant. That’s why I hate it if I’m late and I have to run. I can’t do physical work. Any job where you have to wash your hands often or use strong detergents is bad for me. Even hot weather makes my skin itch. I can’t stay in the sun for too long either. In winter the eczema is the worse. In the summer it’s not that bad. Some people think it’s contagious but it’s not. It doesn’t look very nice but you won’t get it if you touch someone. My allergy is mild compared to what others might have. Some have it on their hands but luckily I haven’t. Mine is mostly on my face and arms. Sometimes my face is so red, that I’m not very willing to go outside. I use an emollient cream which seems to work. Moisturizers that doesn’t contain alcohol is good for me. I have to use fragrance-free products but luckily there’s quite a lot to choose from. Wearing wool on bare skin makes me itchy. When I was younger, I was so embarrassed about having eczema on my arms so I wore long-sleeved shirts all summer. As I got older I noticed wearing short sleeves made it better. It’s the sweat that makes the skin itchy.

House dust and especially during cleaning makes my nose run. I begin to sneeze and sometimes I get 24-hour flu because of it. That’s the reason I don’t like dusting. Dust also makes my face itch. The dust outside in the spring also gives me mild reactions but not as much as inside. Sometimes I think maybe I should hire a cleaner because of my condition but I don’t like strangers touching my things. Besides, housekeepers cost money and I rather clean my flat myself. Anyone with an allergy of any kind knows life isn’t peachy but you learn to live with your imperfections.

The purdy little things

little growing plant
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

“Purdy as in pretty because it’s slang.”

I like using words that sound similar. As is this purdy word. It’s a thang (thing) with slang.

It’s those purdy little things that make the world a better place. We all need something pretty when the place is grey.

I won’t use more colour on this post, even it looks purdy. It was just something I wanted to try. If you don’t try, you never know how things work. It’s been a busy week, so this post is short. This will be a weekend that will feel like a real one. Other times it would just be one day among the others. It’s been early morning from Monday to Friday. I will sleep longer this weekend.

Leave you with this photo I took with my mobile from my balcony. This is what it looked like at 7.38 am one morning this week.

view with a sunset
Photo: Mia, 2022