Connection lost at first sight

connection lost
Made in Canva

Ever felt that no matter what you do, you don’t find the connection with something or someone? You think you do all the right things but they still don’t work. You think it’s because of you. You might take it personally even if it isn’t. Some things don’t have an explanation. They just are. I feel or have felt like I’ve lost connection at first sight. When I meet new people I might talk to them but there is no other connection than friendliness. They say you should make connections so in the future you might need their help. But I have never met such people. They don’t even ask to keep in touch. Maybe I’m just not interesting enough. I don’t want to force people to keep in touch with me if they don’t want to. Making connections in job search seems to be important too. But since I never get any, I haven’t found anything. LinkedIn is a joke too. What a bunch of lies that is. No employer search for employees there. At least not in Finland. Here having relatives is very important or be very lucky.

I don’t get many connections on social media either. I really hate making up tags. Especially on Instagram. That spoils everything. It’s full of fake photos anyway. No one wants to be different. I don’t know why I even bothered starting to using it again. Sometimes I don’t even get any likes at all. It doesn’t matter how many tags I use or what kind of photos I have, they will never get more than 1 or 2. More if I’m lucky but never over 12. Using social media for job search are all lies too. You must be really an attention seeker or something special to rock someone’s world. It doesn’t boost your morale, it takes it out of you. I don’t how some get many likes. Are these people following them so they see the post or what? I just don’t get it. Never compare your followers to how many others have because it only brings you down. It’s all shallow about how to get people to notice/follow you. You should do this and you should do that. It takes forever and in the end, it’s all a waste of time. I just don’t want to bother with it anymore. I’m not gonna force out the tags. I just put what comes to mind and leave it at that. I get likes or I don’t, I’m only gonna post for my own entertainment. I’m tired of trying to impress people.

If someone wants to make a connection, it’s probably spam. You don’t see the difference between the truth and the lies because you haven’t had any real connections. Bad experiences make you doubt things. Especially when it comes to the Internet. You shouldn’t even believe what you see in there anyway. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t trust these platforms like LinkedIn in a job search because you never know if the connection might be an imposter. I rather use something else than use it. It only brings me down. So lies and connection do come together. Both of them are bad news in the end.

Trust me I know what I’m doing

This is what the word trust came to mind. It’s a quote from the TV series called Sledge Hammer. He always said it but things went wrong. If I said it I would really mean it. I usually don’t know what I want so I would be lying. When I know I want I really mean trust me I know what I’m doing. Like I know now what I’m doing at work. I want more job experience so I can get more confidence to become an entrepreneur later on. I realise more and more that waking up early is not my thing. I want to wake up when I feel like it and I don’t mean sleeping all day. I want to choose my own schedule and not being at work at 9 am sharp. Now I have to wake up after 6 am so I don’t get late for work. My job is 4 hours and 50 minutes but it’s the waking up early that makes me tired. I have to take a nap in the evening because of that. Which is the reason blogging might not happen that often right now. Except for the holidays and Sundays. Trust me I know what I’m doing. And I really meant it. 

Throw a dart at empty promises

darts on board

Life is like a TV commercial, promises that are said to help you. But the truth is they’re just a shell with no substance. You should do this and you should do that and a miracle will happen. I’ve had so many disappointments in my life I just want to throw a dart at empty promises. One of the promises I dislike the most is these networking channels like LinkedIn. I’ve been there for 5 years and I only have 7 connections. I think it’s just a place where popular people get noticed. Maybe the service just isn’t for Finnish people. Our country is too small for this kind of thing. If you don’t have connections from your past, there is no use for it. Then you hear stories from people who actually have to find a job through LinkedIn and you just think who did they bribe because that person must be really lucky. It’s just too good to be true. LinkedIn in a job search is useless. I will only keep it as a memo for my past educations and work experiences to remind myself. It doesn’t matter if my CV is in this service or sending paper versions to employers. The result will still be the same, no job.

The other empty promises are education. They say it’s important because you have a better chance to find a job. That’s just BS. All these qualifications are useless. You can have hundreds of them but still, no one wants to give you a chance. The same with internships. If you get one you can get your foot between the door, you might get a job there in the future. Yeah right. All you get is a good luck and they shut the door behind you. Then when you get older, it’s even harder to get “your foot between the door” You don’t even have a look in. The the only use you have for your qualifications is keeping you sane. If I wasn’t used to being unemployed, I would be worried and feel unwanted. Lucky for me, I’m alone and I don’t have to support anyone. It’s different for those who have a family. Some of them can’t even afford food. It’s really difficult to stay motivated when there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. All these tips about how to find a job are empty promises. I’ve never got anything by chance. I’m never in the right place at the right place. There are times I just want to give up and live on well-fare the rest of my life. But I want to have meaning with my life. I want a job and not become one of those lowlives who doesn’t even bother looking for a job. But because I’m not suitable for companies images, I don’t get anything.

You shouldn’t give hope to a person who’s been disappointed so many times. Nothing is worse than empty promises. Telling them to be patient doesn’t help either. How much patience must a person have anyway? Will it take years, decades or never? Politicians are known for their empty promises but it shouldn’t happen in daily life. You learn from empty promises by not getting your hopes up. That’s probably the only good thing that comes out of it. If it’s even good. Next someone promises me something, I’m just gonna ignore them because once you lose trust, it’s hard to get it back. Sometimes it’s gone for good.