Bloganuary: Wouldn’t be good

sheet music on keyboards
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A song that speaks to me is Nik Kershaw’s ‘Wouldn’t be good’. It’s one of the songs of my life. My life is never easy. People don’t understand me; if they walked in my shoes, they would. They think their own life is easy, and they’re all happy. Life isn’t and shouldn’t be easy. We all have our ups and downs. People who have never been through the way I have don’t understand how it feels. I have days that feel like, what’s the point of doing anything. I could sleep all day and only have my hobbies. People who meet me think after the first impression they know me, but they don’t. Strangely, you should be yourself; it’s not enough when you are. I’m reserved because of the things that happened in the past. I trusted someone, and then they deceived me. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t trust people. I need to know the person a bit better before I can put my trust in them. Most of the time, they’re not patient enough trying to get to know me. They only assume what I’m like. Sometimes I wish I could be somewhere else instead.

Wouldn’t it be good by Nik Kershaw

I love 80s music, and this song is one of them. It’s my power song. The lyrics give me good feelings. It makes me think I’m not the only one that feels this way. No matter how you see the lyrics, you have to agree the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Connection lost at first sight

connection lost
Made in Canva

Ever felt that no matter what you do, you don’t find the connection with something or someone? You think you do all the right things but they still don’t work. You think it’s because of you. You might take it personally even if it isn’t. Some things don’t have an explanation. They just are. I feel or have felt like I’ve lost connection at first sight. When I meet new people I might talk to them but there is no other connection than friendliness. They say you should make connections so in the future you might need their help. But I have never met such people. They don’t even ask to keep in touch. Maybe I’m just not interesting enough. I don’t want to force people to keep in touch with me if they don’t want to. Making connections in job search seems to be important too. But since I never get any, I haven’t found anything. LinkedIn is a joke too. What a bunch of lies that is. No employer search for employees there. At least not in Finland. Here having relatives is very important or be very lucky.

I don’t get many connections on social media either. I really hate making up tags. Especially on Instagram. That spoils everything. It’s full of fake photos anyway. No one wants to be different. I don’t know why I even bothered starting to using it again. Sometimes I don’t even get any likes at all. It doesn’t matter how many tags I use or what kind of photos I have, they will never get more than 1 or 2. More if I’m lucky but never over 12. Using social media for job search are all lies too. You must be really an attention seeker or something special to rock someone’s world. It doesn’t boost your morale, it takes it out of you. I don’t how some get many likes. Are these people following them so they see the post or what? I just don’t get it. Never compare your followers to how many others have because it only brings you down. It’s all shallow about how to get people to notice/follow you. You should do this and you should do that. It takes forever and in the end, it’s all a waste of time. I just don’t want to bother with it anymore. I’m not gonna force out the tags. I just put what comes to mind and leave it at that. I get likes or I don’t, I’m only gonna post for my own entertainment. I’m tired of trying to impress people.

If someone wants to make a connection, it’s probably spam. You don’t see the difference between the truth and the lies because you haven’t had any real connections. Bad experiences make you doubt things. Especially when it comes to the Internet. You shouldn’t even believe what you see in there anyway. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t trust these platforms like LinkedIn in a job search because you never know if the connection might be an imposter. I rather use something else than use it. It only brings me down. So lies and connection do come together. Both of them are bad news in the end.

Trust me I know what I’m doing

This is what the word trust came to mind. It’s a quote from the TV series called Sledge Hammer. He always said it but things went wrong. If I said it I would really mean it. I usually don’t know what I want so I would be lying. When I know I want I really mean trust me I know what I’m doing. Like I know now what I’m doing at work. I want more job experience so I can get more confidence to become an entrepreneur later on. I realise more and more that waking up early is not my thing. I want to wake up when I feel like it and I don’t mean sleeping all day. I want to choose my own schedule and not being at work at 9 am sharp. Now I have to wake up after 6 am so I don’t get late for work. My job is 4 hours and 50 minutes but it’s the waking up early that makes me tired. I have to take a nap in the evening because of that. Which is the reason blogging might not happen that often right now. Except for the holidays and Sundays. Trust me I know what I’m doing. And I really meant it.