unemployment – Page 11

loyal graphics — Blog title from ‘The seventh stranger’ by Duran Duran

I must be crazy believing there would be some loyalty left in the world. I for one is loyal so I could almost have a tattoo. I won’t get one because I hate needles. I usually don’t like talking about politics and I won’t now either. But this is something that I feel strongly about. Maybe a lot of you don’t know but in Finland, we have well-fare for unemployed. It’s supposed to be temporary but some people exploit and they don’t even bother looking for work. I call them lazy unemployed. They give other job searchers a bad name. Most of us do want to work. These people who don’t want to work are proud to be without a job. They come out in the media and says how lazy they are. If I were them, I would keep it too myself. I guess they want fame. I wonder what kind of upbringing they have. My parents, especially my mother was very couraging and sometimes even too much for my liking. But work has always been very important. Living on well-fare all your life should not be something to be proud of. I feel really sorry for these young people who don’t seem to even bother looking for work even if they could. But getting free money seems to be alright. Any job experience is good. If someone only takes a job because of the money, they never get anything. I can’t understand how someone wants to be out of work voluntarily. You should at least have some kind of education. I would have been bored out of my mind if I didn’t study at least. Working is not only about money. There’s so much more to it.

As for my own job search. So far I haven’t found anything. There’s this app/software tester job but one of the requirements is having a mobile device which I don’t have. I have only a tablet and it irritates me frequently. It’s also a freelance job but isn’t really a problem though. It’s easy to apply for the job but still, it’s unsure if you get picked. All you need is to create an account and then answer a Google form. You get to choose what you want to test and anytime you want. If you find a bug, you get paid extra. More bugs you find, more you get paid. It is tempting. It’s just the device thing that is a thinker. Besides the tablet, I have the computer. The more devices you have, the better you get things to test. It wouldn’t really matter if I only get pocket money. It still doesn’t replace a full-time job.

Maybe I’m chasing rainbows here but I think as a female in design, I can get a job. You can read about how hard it is for a woman to work in a male-dominated job. But I don’t see it that way. I think what men can do, women can do it too. It’s about the attitude and how loyal you are. I won’t let age get in the way. No horny old man (like that what’s his name again director) will harass me either. They probably think I’m a man anyway. If I can’t find a job in someone else’s business, then maybe I should start something on my own. The problem is my marketing myself thing and also do I still remember what I studied. Last time I designed something was in school. That stopped months ago. All I know right now is, I don’t want to be out of work. If I’m not loyal to myself and what I want to do, no one will.

text When I was younger, I was always nervous when it came to interacting with strangers. I still feel like that sometimes. I was so insecure, I thought I’ll never get over it. Talking on the phone was the worse and still is. I don’t like calling people. I’m always so worried something goes wrong. I plan ahead and wish the situation would be over. That’s the reason why I fear calling to work places. I hate the nervous feeling I get. When I was on the career coaching thing and I had to call to places, it was hell. I prefer using email if I want to contact people. Unfortunately that doesn’t always help and you have to call the person. That’s the reason why I never got a real job. My mother used to encourage me to think it’s nothing to be nervous about. But you shouldn’t say that to an introvert. It won’t help no matter how safe it is. It might be easy for some but it’s not for a person who’s experiencing anxiety in social situations.

In a week, our on the job learning begins in web design. It takes 6 weeks and I have at least 2 clients. If that wasn’t enough, we have to write documentation of our client work. Then there’s an individual vocational skills demonstration plan we have to write. We also have to make a portfolio, hence the reason I bought a domain. There’s so much to do and think about so I’m not sure if I can handle all this stress. I want to pass the exam but what if it gets too overwhelming and I become lazy. I’m also a bit nervous about the clients. I don’t want to promise them something I can’t do. It’s easy to think I can do the job. Everything I’ve learned so far, all disappear and I forget everything. I have to think I can do it. That’s the only way to survive this challenge. Now I’m just calm before the storm. I really hope I won’t begin in the last-minute.

When this school is over in May, another nervous breakdown is near. I really don’t want to handle the job center again. I’m not looking forward to being unemployed. There’s so many people without jobs and I don’t want to experience age-discrimination. There’s a lot of that happening in Finland. They want someone younger and that means 20 something. Employers think someone with experience doesn’t know how to keep up with the times. They don’t want to hire people they have to pay for. Instead they take younger ones with less pay. People with families has to be nervous about their financial issues if they don’t have jobs. At least the only person I need to support, is myself. I don’t know yet what I’ll do. I have thought about it though. You have to be prepared. Have a plan B so to speak. One thing is sure, I want to do something than living on well-fair. Earning your own money is much more satisfying. It has its downsides too but that’s small price to pay.

Keeping calm is the key to nervousness because if you panic, you only become stressed. Take things step by step and do one thing at the time. It can feel impossible at first but there’s a solution to almost everything. Sometimes it scares me for being too relaxed. It feels like I have no care in the world. It’s the people who puts pressure on you but the worst thing is, is the pressure you put on yourself. Introverts are good actors because we might look calm on the outside but the inside is boiling. I rarely show emotions in public because I don’t want strange looks. I don’t like people looking at me which is the reason I don’t dance besides when I’m alone. I get self-conscious and only want to hide. If I had all the money in the world, I still wouldn’t tell anyone. I rather give it charity and help those who need it more than I ever do. Too much money gets me nervous. If only millionaires would share theirs more often but that would be the day.