The bad news is that there is no news

September 11, 2019 MiaLeave a comment

Nothing new under the sun. It’s been a while since I graduated from the graphic design course in Helsinki Design School but nothing has happened after that. Why would it? There is never any luck. Nothing ever happenstance to me. Only crap. Many probably already have gained something from the education. I’m always in the same place, year after year. During the education it felt like I wasn’t that good in graphic design and nothing will come out of it. Seeing other student’s work, I felt even worse. The portfolio presentation was awful. I don’t know if I even have any potential since I got no real feedback. My presentations are never any good and I hate situations like that. I’m nervous no matter how I’ve prepared. Standing in front of the others makes me forget everything and no notes help. Maybe if there would only be one of two, then I could get something out of it. I’ll never get any work this way.

All the job listings require at least 2 years of work experience. And a professional degree. If I did get a job interview, I still wouldn’t get it because I’m bad at it. No job search courses have helped either. No matter what others say, there is no use. No LinkedIn and that kind of places work either. People say it does but I don’t agree. It just doesn’t work for everyone. Especially in Finland. Being an introvert doesn’t help the matter. I hate it when you need to brand yourself and you need to have great communication skills. Then when my mother tongue is Swedish, it shows in my Finnish writing. But so what? How should I write then? Should I hire a writer whose mother tongue is Finnish? Then it’s not me who’s writing. The most important thing is being understood, right?

If I want a job I should become an entrepreneur but that also requires work. It also takes time to get started. I don’t have time all my life. I want results right away and not in 10 years. I don’t really know what I want any longer because nothing seems to work. It pisses me off because I never have any luck. I could be unemployed for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t need to do anything. Money doesn’t grow on trees but at least I could just be. I can do what I like. Sleep late. But the laziness strikes. I want to do something and not shy away from work like certain people do. When you read about entrepreneurship, there is a lot of negativity. You’re not allowed to do anything. “Don’t have your own business” “Go work for someone else” What if you don’t belong anywhere? You just don’t feel at home among other people. Is being unemployed much better than being an entrepreneur? I think not. Unemployment cost. At least mentally. You have to be social in the workplace and so on. Finding a job is sucks because it requires so much. Personally, I’m bored with it all. You just have to believe in yourself because no one else will. Let the employers hire young and beautiful people they don’t need to pay so much to. I have educations but no one wants to hire me because I don’t have enough experience in my own field. I don’t even get any free work. Thanks to a certain company. I won’t mention any names since they can come and get me. Maybe not but still. At least I got an interview. I was probably too old for their organisation. I applied twice to another company. That was a paid job. I won’t apply to that again. I got the hint. If I only could get the courage to start something on my own.

Certain people have no idea how the job search works these days. No one gets a job just like that. Not everyone is able to do just any job. Like cleaning. You should get experience in your own field and not take a job away from someone else. If you don’t know anything about today, you should keep quiet. “You can find a job if you’re really trying” Well then apply for that job then, self-centred bastard. Everyone doesn’t have friends in high places. Those who do probably don’t even need to write job applications. They want a job and they get it. In real life, it’s not that easy. A good looking resume doesn’t guarantee you anything. It’s what’s in it that counts and if you don’t have it, you don’t even get an interview. You get the round file or file 13. You’re not welcome to their little club. They don’t like you. Just like school. If you’re not the king or queen of the class, you’re nothing. You’re the nerd no one wants to become friends with. Why should you need to please those idiots? Let them have their little club. I don’t want to waste my time with people like that. I’ll rather be alone. At least I can have a decent conversation and nobody demands anything from me.

Source: https://pics.me.me/

Why do I even bother?

July 9, 2019 Mia2 Comments

sheldon cooper gif — Source: https://are-you-for-serial.tumblr.com/post/123562914844/can-i-get-some-of-those-united-nations-headphones

Got another rejection in the job search. “We have looked at your application but you’re not the one we’re looking for” Not exactly those words but close. I don’t know why I bother applying for jobs. Why should I strain myself with writing applications? It doesn’t matter what I write, I still get nothing. I can’t understand how people waste their time writing hundreds of applications. It’s a waste of time and energy. No wonder people get depressed. Being rejected by anyone is not nice. I rather use my time doing other things than writing applications that only makes my head spin. I don’t even think I study new things to get a job anymore. I study for my own amusement because what else can I do. Job search is like dating. People say “you’ll find someone too” which is the same “you’ll find a job too” I wouldn’t hold my breath I would say to both.

It seems I won’t get a job as a web designer and I won’t get a job in graphic design. Open positions don’t show up every day in that field. I wonder how someone gets hired who have no common sense. Or people who can’t park their cars, bike, electric kick scooters or any other vehicle in the right place or between the lines in a parking lot. Or they can’t close the gate or door behind them. It’s usually people who are incapable of doing daily things by themselves. Maybe they’re just good at lying in job interviews or any other skill to get hired. You either need to be very lucky or be a fake person to get a job. At least in this country. Especially if you’re an introvert with no job experience in your field, you’re officially in the rejection pile. And you have gaps in your work experience. If I was mentally weak, I would too have difficulties to cope with my joblessness. Getting another rejection letter (email in this case) just bounces off my shoulders. I knew I wouldn’t get chosen for the next step anyway so I’m not that surprised. They were probably looking for someone in their 20’s who have just graduated from school. Not someone who’s over 40 who just have graduated from an education. Just as well. I rather move on. I wouldn’t have been up to the job anyway.

I don’t fit in any company. I have the personality of a toilet brush, for starters. Joke aside. I’m a loner who’s not very good company when it comes to being social with a co-worker. That’s what employers are looking for mostly. A person who socialise but at the same time have skills of a superhuman. Who’s living in a dream world, huh? People with jobs have no real idea of how it is to be unemployed. Unless they’ve been one themselves. These days you can’t just go to a company and you get hired right there and then. That’s not how it works. Before judging the unemployed, people should look at the bigger picture. Telling someone to get a job doesn’t help at all. It’s so easy to blame the unemployed when there is much else to it. I have no personal experiences of negative comments but I’ve read a lot of those on the Internet. I feel really annoyed for them who has to hear it constantly. Some people can’t even do any job. They have allergies or other physical problems. Like people with jobs, all unemployed are different.

If people want to write job applications for any job, then so be it. But I only apply for a job I’ve studied. Call me picky but I call it having standards. I see no point using my energy to search for a job I know I’m not qualified for. The quality is more important than quantity when it comes to job search. You only get stressed if you’re forced to look for any job. Job search is unfair. People with connections have a better chance to get a job than someone who hasn’t. It shouldn’t be that way but that’s how it works. Apparently, you can find connections but I don’t know how that really works. I think it’s awkward to get in touch with a person you never even met. This thing about branding yourself to get your dream job is unnatural. Since when have humans become products? If you have your own business, then branding is good but in a job search, I think not. Then only the young and the beautiful will get a job. Why do I even bother with this whole job search thing? It’s too complex when it shouldn’t. I better just be unemployed for the rest of my life. But that’s a destiny I’m not gonna accept.

What a job mentor has given me

May 1, 2019 MiaLeave a comment

A job mentor is someone who helps you with job search and with resumes. You also call them career mentors. As an unemployed, you get to go to different job search courses and you can also get a personal mentor if you like. How fun and you get closer to that job you want. buzzer Wrong, you only get something to do during the day. Maybe you get tips about job search but it won’t help you get a job. It gives the mentor a job. Maybe someone has succeeded to find a job by using these mentors but usually, they’re a waste of time. I should know. I’m been in a lot of different job search courses. But I’m not bitter. There has been something positive too. So this is what a job mentor has given me.

I’ve had two different mentors. One was twice. The first one was in 2008 or 2009. I didn’t have any examination at the time. We searched for internships but we didn’t find anything. Photography was very important to me at the time. The mentor suggested if I would apply for education instead. I was reluctant at first because I didn’t want to study for too many years. She (the mentor) found an education where photography wasn’t the main thing but it had it. It was a 2-year education. It felt really long but after thinking about it, I decided to apply for it. It was an undergraduate degree in visual expression. It was a basic graphic design and it also had photography. Before I applied I went to that school for a week to see how it was to study there. I think that helped me to get in. So after two years, I graduated. When I think back, I wish I would have continued with graphic design after that. I would have much more experience now. Photography was just so stuck in my mind so I didn’t think about any other options. You live and learn.

The second mentor really tried to help to find me at least an internship but again, no one wanted to take an intern. We looked on the internet about different companies and contacted them. Or the mentor did because I hate calling. Either way, no chance anywhere. It’s not the mentor’s fault companies doesn’t want to give a chance. They only want people with job experiences and not someone they think they have to babysit. The only achievement I got from this mentor was an internship in one of my local newspaper as a photographer. But it was only 2 weeks which was ridiculous. That’s actually my last internship so far. At least I got some of my photos published. I had this mentor twice because the jobcentre suggested it. I don’t find this kind of services useful when it comes to job search. In some things, they can be useful but it hasn’t helped my case that much. The same with job search courses where other people attend.

And boy, have I been on those courses. I’ve been to career coaching and job search training. You can find all kinds of tips online and study it by yourself. In the end, it still won’t get you a job. There are too many unemployees and not enough jobs. You need job experience in your resume. It doesn’t mean what you’ve studied. Then you also need to be good at job interviews. Job search is just so complicated so no wonder people get depressed. Nothing is never good enough. My good results from these mentors and courses are two educations. Latest was the web design course in 2016-2017. All of these have been my choices and that’s how it should be. I’ve done at least something and not just be. Many people have been on job search courses and had mentors but felt disappointed. They only think about the negative. I try to find something good about it. Some things wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t attended any of those courses. It didn’t help to get me a job but at least I’ve grown as a person. Maybe that will pay off one day.