I have a vivid imagination when it comes to thinking about things. But if I have to write it down, it’s more complicated. It’s easier to live in your head than in real life. I wish I could be more vivid in everyday life. I wish I could get up earlier in the morning. My late mother used to say you have time to do much more during the day if you get up earlier. The problem is that I get to bed late at night. I only get up early twice a month when I travel to Helsinki for the filmmaking course. If I had a job and a reason to get up early, that would be different.
I wish I could be more excited to do made-up design projects to fill my portfolio. But my mind isn’t that vivid for that kind of stuff. It’s challenging to get ideas on your own. No one is there to tell you what you should do. There are websites where you can find made-up projects, but who has the time. I still wouldn’t have any good ideas. I try to practise Adobe programs every day. Especially Illustrator, but I wish I could stick to it too. Other things distract me, though.
Another workweek is done. Now I’ve been at the job for a month. Because of the coronavirus, it hasn’t been longer than that. Now it’s about 2 months left of the contract. I’m already counting the days. It’s been surviving the week. If it wasn’t from the nice colleagues I wouldn’t want to be there. There is not much to do. At least not this week. It’s always quiet at the beginning of the week. A lot of events have been cancelled so there isn’t much to report. The job is internal and external communication. One of the tools is WordPress so at least I get to use the block thing. Not having nothing to do is another thing but the worse part is waking up early. It has never been my thing. I also don’t like going to places. There are days I wish I didn’t have to go anywhere. At least not early in the morning. When you have to make up early, you have to go to bed early which is the bad part. Then you get confused when the weekend comes. Last Saturday I woke up and saw the time being over 7 am so I thought I’ll be late for work. But then realised it’s the weekend and went back to bed. Then on Sunday, you have to go to bed early so the weekend feels really short. Sometimes I wonder if this job really is worth it. At least you get paid something. I also get job experience even though it’s not in the field I want to be in. It hasn’t really been what I wrote about the job.
Days shouldn’t be trying surviving the week at work. Many people stay in their jobs for years which I don’t want to. I want to move on from things I don’t feel motivated to do. Is your life really worth it if you stay at something that bores you? Unfortunately, some people don’t have a choice and they have to be in a job if they like it or not. They don’t have a safety net and get help to their money troubles. I’m glad I don’t live in the States, for example. I would probably be homeless or something. You shouldn’t settle to your destiny. People who have worked where I am now haven’t found a job so they come back. That’s something I want to avoid. I don’t know if I even want to work for someone because then you have to go by their schedule. Working from home has entered my mind. I just hate hurrying. When I was studying web design and we had on the job learning. I could choose my own schedule and the freedom of not having to go anywhere was much more fun. Now it just feels forced and routined. It just isn’t for me. Now I will get through the months that are left of the contract and then we’ll see what will happen after that. At least we get free coffee and something sweet or salty to eat on Fridays at work. The best part is though the people you meet and the great people you work with. Without the atmosphere there, the surviving the week would be much harder to handle.
In my world 