Bloganuary: It’s only words

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The question is on day 8, What do you like most about your writing? It depends on what I write and in what language. I speak and write three. Finnish, Swedish and English. It’s only words that you put together to get a sentence. They should also make sense. That’s the hardest part. E.g. in Finnish, there are sentences where you need to put a comma, but where are a different matter. Knowing a few languages confuses you. Sometimes I don’t know how to describe things. I might know a word in English, but I can’t remember what it is in Finnish. The Internet is a big help. Knowing what to write can be stressful. I dislike it the most when I can’t find the right words no matter how hard I try. I have that problem sometimes when I write this blog.

I don’t know what I.like the most about my writing. I have always had a good imagination, so maybe that’s it. It’s not my thing to say if I’m a good writer or not. I can be satisfied with what I write, but it’s really for people who read my stuff to judge if it’s good or not. Maybe I rely too much on other people’s opinions, but I wouldn’t post it online if I didn’t. I want to share things and make people feel good. It’s the same with writing this blog and the fan fiction I write. I don’t want to start from a clean slate if I’m not happy about my work. I prefer moving forward and getting better at writing. Not only getting better but also learning new things. I’ve had doubts about my writing abilities. But when someone likes what I write, it feels it’s not that bad.

When I studied journalism years ago, I realised I was better at writing fiction. As a journalist, you need to write about facts, but I like writing fiction because you can use your imagination. Besides, I can’t listen and write at the same time. That’s what you need when you interview people or write an article about something. It’s easier to say what I’m not good at. I couldn’t write a book because I would run out of ideas and get distracted. I’m better at short stories that I can post online. They say to stick to what you know, even if I write about things I haven’t experienced myself. I just have a vivid imagination, that’s all.

Bloganuary: What is something you wish you knew how to do?

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Day 5. There are a lot of things I wish I knew how to do. But then I could be here all day. I wished I wouldn’t be so indecisive. There are many things I want to do, but I don’t know what I should concentrate on first. This is a problem I’ve had since I had to decide what to do after school at 17. Everything seemed to be too dull for my liking. While I was thinking about what I wanted to do, others had already done more than I have. I feel a bit ashamed that I haven’t had a paying job. I’m an introvert and not very ambitious. I also don’t like taking risks. That’s one of the things I wish I knew how to do. Maybe then I would have more achievements. I just give up too easily at times.

I wish I knew how to tell things about myself. Especially when writing them down. I don’t know what people want to know. What does it even mean, tell something about yourself? Talking about myself isn’t easy. It feels awkward somehow when it shouldn’t. If I could write them down, it would be different. Talking face to face with someone about it is another matter. Even writing them down is difficult. I just don’t know what to say. It’s the same with cover letters in a job search. It’s a pain to get the words out, so I don’t want to do it. I wish I was better at that too.

I also wish I could feel at ease when meeting new people. I don’t know how to start a conversation without feeling I’m bothering them. I’ve tried during the years to be braver, but it still feels unfamiliar. I don’t have much in common with the people I’ve met in the past. I’m not a storyteller. I prefer listening to others. They think I don’t want to talk, so they don’t even approach me. The things people talk about doesn’t interest me. If they talked about the things I like, it would be different. Introverts are misunderstood by extroverts. Being shy is different from being introverted. Either way, we are all different, and people should accept that. We should learn from each other because then we can grow as humans. Not only that, but also grow as an individual.

No apparition in the present

road visibility exit
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I have no clue what to tell you. I’m sorry to bother you with this text. There is no apparition in the present situation. I’m not sure what to say about this word. It’s a word I didn’t know about. I can’t even pronounce it. I hope I don’t need to speak it. The word is one of those English words you don’t remember when it’s not your first language. You use some other, an easier word, to say. Searching on Google about what the word means helps like it does when looking for words and their meanings. It’s pretty challenging to put this word into a sentence. I’m more into being invisible than being an apparition. Maybe I’m embarrassing myself with using it wrong. Or perhaps it’s right. That’s all I got.

I shall now disappear, like a phantom into the night.