Tag: work

Green with envy

Mia8 Comments
green with envy
Made in Canva

Envy is one of the seven sins but it’s also something you feel when you see someone succeeding better than you. There is good envy and there’s bad envy. I don’t think I’ve ever had that bad envy feeling. I can be happy for another person. There is no point of fighting against something you know you’ll never win. It’s better to concentrate on your own things. You should stop comparing yourself to others no matter how hard it might be. Some things are not meant to happen and some things might happen later.

What makes me most green of envy is creative talents like illustrators and graphic designers. Even professional photographers. They make it look so easy even if it’s not. If I practised more I could get better at it but there are so many other things to do so I don’t have time. At the job I’m right now in, there isn’t any photography. We use photos from Pixabay or any other photography place. Maybe I get to do that someday. I’m not that excited about taking photos like I was a few years ago. On boring days at work, I wish I was somewhere else. Mondays and Tuesdays are quiet so I could be doing something else. I wonder why I even bother waking up early.

I’m green with envy when I read about how someone has started a creative business after their education. Like in Helsinki Design School. I’m both envious and admiring their courage. Their work is good too. I feel like an amateur when it comes to coming up with ideas and how to make them a reality. I haven’t really done any graphic design since school in 2019. I don’t have enough confidence to start something on my own. Instead, I have to work somewhere else. But maybe this is a learning process. I get used to working with others and maybe learn something new on this journey. But right now it feels like I won’t make it 8 months in this current job. Especially when I have to wake up early. I would rather stay in bed and start working when I feel like it. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.

Some might be green with envy of me but they shouldn’t because we all got our strengths and we should use them to help those who don’t have the same skills. Everyone can’t do everything and it’s meant to be that way.

Trust me I know what I’m doing

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This is what the word trust came to mind. It’s a quote from the TV series called Sledge Hammer. He always said it but things went wrong. If I said it I would really mean it. I usually don’t know what I want so I would be lying. When I know I want I really mean trust me I know what I’m doing. Like I know now what I’m doing at work. I want more job experience so I can get more confidence to become an entrepreneur later on. I realise more and more that waking up early is not my thing. I want to wake up when I feel like it and I don’t mean sleeping all day. I want to choose my own schedule and not being at work at 9 am sharp. Now I have to wake up after 6 am so I don’t get late for work. My job is 4 hours and 50 minutes but it’s the waking up early that makes me tired. I have to take a nap in the evening because of that. Which is the reason blogging might not happen that often right now. Except for the holidays and Sundays. Trust me I know what I’m doing. And I really meant it. 

Smooth start for a new experience

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Outside the office
My work desk

So two days of my new part-time job done. It’s been a smooth start for a new experience. It’s also been very quiet which isn’t unusual at the place I’m at. You would think it’s boring for doing nothing but it’s more relaxing that the first days of work are like that. The person who took me to this job arrives tomorrow so maybe there will be something to do. Now we’ve only been ‘hanging’ around at our computers. I got very nice co-workers so I’ve been chatting to them once in a while. The place I work at is a non-profit organization for the unemployed. Our jobs are to inform the members about different events and other things. One of my jobs is video and editing but hopefully, I get other things to do as well. It’s still early days. Even if there hasn’t been much to do at the beginning of the week, the days still go fast. It begins at 9 am and ends at 1.50 pm. When spring begins there will probably more work. It’s better to be there than at home. You also get more money when you work or do something useful with your time.

When you begin with something new it should go smoothly at first. It’s not always so. I’ve started something that didn’t go very well in the past. It wasn’t anything shocking but it wasn’t smooth either. Going to a new school or to a new place. Especially when everyone around you is strangers. I always wondered how some people get connected with other people so easily. It’s always a struggle for me. Sure I talk but it never becomes long conversations. For some things goes more smoothly than to others but it’s doesn’t mean there won’t be a struggle to both. Life isn’t perfect even if it looks like that on the outside. Sometimes I wish my life would be more smooth than it has been. Like this finding, something to do that would keep me occupied for more than a week or so. But I can never stick to anything longer. You just need to go with what life gives you and move on if something doesn’t work.