Creativity comes in many forms. You can be creative even if you think you’re not. Creativity can be things you do daily. Even thinking about what to eat for lunch or dinner is creativity. The creativity I’m going to write about is creating something from scratch. Creativity is the key to happiness, so here I go.
For as long as I remember, I’ve had a good imagination for storytelling. Mainly in Swedish and English. I never seem to get any ideas for writing in Finnish. Now I only write things in English. It’s more fun, and I’ve learned the English language simultaneously. I also watch a lot of movies and TV shows in that language. Being creative makes me happy. It’s a plus side if someone likes what I write. Otherwise, I wouldn’t post them online. I wish I could have the same enthusiasm for graphic design that I have for writing. I can make up stories, but I can’t write news, so I couldn’t be a journalist. Creativity is no fun when you don’t know what or how to create things. It feels like there are people who are much better at it. A portfolio is an essential thing if you want to work in design. But mine is lame because it doesn’t have any work I’ve been paid to do. But how could I have any when I don’t even get internships? I can’t come up with made-up projects either. My imagination is primarily fictional, but only when I write.
Some are more creative than others. It can also come and go. One day you feel creative, and the other, you’re not. You can’t force it. When I don’t know what to write if it’s blogging or fiction, I do something else instead. I plan things in my head before I write them down. Then there are times when I have a lot to write about. It depends on the day or the mood I’m in. My creativity style is emotional. If I don’t have the “feel”, I don’t do anything. Without inspiration, no one can do anything. If everything is said and done, there is no point in forcing yourself to be creative. I could say the same about this blog post. I’m out of creativity right now. I leave it to another day.
If I could reinstall something in my life, it’s the choices I’ve made. But you can’t go back. You can only live in the present. I don’t regret things, but I wish I could have done things differently. One of them is about occupations. I wish I had known earlier what I wanted to do. I was so into thinking about it, I missed things other people did. I shouldn’t have lived in the bubble. I was too worried about the things that could go wrong. I wished I had been brave. Now I will probably be alone with nobody around me. I could quickly become a recluse. I could live in a place where there are no people around. But I wouldn’t want to be there all the time. I’m a city person, so I need to see other people. I’m not a green thumb, so I couldn’t grow my own food or have a garden. I don’t even change the soil in my late mother’s plants.
Sometimes I think maybe I should have to reinstall my blogging path. Write about something more popular. But that can be changed at any time. I’m not very good at that advice-giving thing that seems to be in many blogs. I also don’t want to be like any other blog. I’m only blogging for fun. It wouldn’t be as fun if I did it for a living. It’s a lot of stress to think about blog subjects. So I wouldn’t want to reinstall my path in blogging. That wouldn’t be me anymore. I don’t want to reinstall myself. I like the way I am. I’ve come this far, and I want to move on. This blog is part of me, and if I reinstalled it, I would also reinstall me. I can not let that happen, do I?
I dislike it when I do a lot of hard work, but in the end, they are futile anyway. It’s a waste of energy, so I prefer doing things with a meaning. Sometimes, when I write a blog post that doesn’t get much attention, I feel I should have done something else instead of writing. I had this feeling when I started to blog quite a lot. Today I still feel like that, but I accept all posts won’t interest people. I write to myself anyway. I would write even if I felt it was futile. If you don’t write, you won’t get better at it. My job is done if I can get at least one person to like what I write. It’s not a competition about how many likes a post receives. This is my 9th year of having this blog which is an excellent achievement for a person who gives up too quickly. I’ve learned to be more persistent. If I only would be one when it comes to other things in life.
I could have done so much more if I hadn’t given up, but you can’t turn back. You just need to look forward and learn from the past. It’s never too late to become better as a person or in whatever you do professionally. Things can feel futile but finding at least one positive thing makes you feel it wasn’t all that bad. I’ve studied photography because I thought I wanted to become a photographer. But that’s wasn’t meant to be. I’ve studied web design because I wanted to become a web designer, but that wasn’t meant to be either. Then came graphic design. All that studying haven’t got me very far. I still feel like I’m a rookie, but it doesn’t feel they’ve been futile. I can do all of those things and more. If I get bored with one thing, I can do something else. I always wanted to do different things. I can combine the things I’ve studied with each other. E.g. photography and graphic design. If I had learned about subjects I wasn’t interested in, things would have felt even more futile. My first education after compulsory school was health care, but I’ve learned how to make a bed, so the bed cheat stays in place. I also learned about psychology at the school, so it’s wasn’t entirely wasted. Maybe I have been persistent in other things in life too. It takes a lot to find what you want to do with your life. It takes longer for some, but it’s not about getting there before anyone else. It’s about the journey. Life is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. I’m only half of the way.