Tag: writing

Bloganuary: Lie or only denial

Mia2 Comments
lie and truth sign
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I don’t know if it’s a lie or only a denial, but I’m not as good as I think I am. I question my skills all the time. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I keep putting off things. For example, since 2018, I’ve thought about becoming an entrepreneur. I went to a course about it too. I wanted to become many things, but I constantly changed my mind. I kept telling myself I was good at something, but then I didn’t get the response I wished for from others. I thought I was only an average photographer, writer or anything creative. I thought I couldn’t make it professionally. Maybe I’m lying to myself that I could. I’m worried people will see through me, but they don’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me the truth. The truth about that I should choose a profession other than something creative. My photos and designs are plain, and no one would want to pay me because they might make them for free elsewhere. That kind of doubt is often in my head.

Sometimes I wonder if people understand what I’m writing about. Am I the writer that I think I am? It’s not like I’m writing a novel here. I’ve got good feedback about my fiction, and people like my blog posts. But my writing is a hobby. I don’t get paid for it. Writing is the only thing I feel comfortable about. I know I’m good at it. I won’t lie or deny it. It’s other things that I think I’m lying to myself about. There will always be someone who is a better photographer than me. The same goes for graphic design and other creative things. I don’t like the “not being good enough to get paid for”- feeling. I have never wanted an ordinary job where you go at 8 or 9 am and then home at 4 or 5 pm. I can’t sit still and do something boring all day. I need change, and that’s what creative work is. But I can’t get hired because I have no job experience in the field. It’s challenging to get any of that.

As an introvert, it’s hard for me to know what my strengths are. I lie, or I’m in denial that I’m versatile, but am I truly so? Is that even a strength? A killer can be versatile by killing different kinds of people. I like doing different things, and I guess I’m doing OK with them. I wish I was more confident about my skills and not always doubting them. Being honest with yourself is easier than lying. But also, you shouldn’t forget that life does not always go as planned. If you lie to yourself about that, then you’re in denial.

Bloganuary: Memorable gift is not a thing

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a gift
Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

When people think about the most memorable gift they’ve received, they think about something material. But for me, it’s a gift I’m given before birth. Or I don’t know how I got it. It comes; naturally, that’s for sure. I have the gift of imagination. I’m good at making up stories. They say reading books develop your imagination, but I’m not a book reader. There are other ways. You can get it by watching movies or television shows. You can find inspiration from daily life. You don’t get better at anything without doing it all the time. Knowing how to write is a gift a lot of people have. Anyone can write anything, but it doesn’t come naturally for everyone. I’m happy I know I’m good at something. I might not make money out of it, but it’s the most memorable gift ever.

Bloganuary: Repost: Day 1: I write because…

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Originally published 2016/09/26

handwritten

Tallenna

TallennI write because it’s fun. Writing is like breathing. Without breathing, you can’t live. Writing is also good therapy. It’s also easier to express my thoughts. If I talk to someone, I always think first about what to say. When I write things, I have time to think. In a conversation, you might forget what you were supposed to say and when the situation is over, it’s too late. It happens too often. That’s also an introversion thing. It always feels weird when I have to start conversations. When I write, things go the way I’ve planned them.

I couldn’t ever make blogging a living. I’m not good enough to give advice. I’m the one who needs guidance. It would be too challenging to think every day about what to write. I write when I feel like it. I’m not good at keeping up a schedule when it comes to writing. I couldn’t be an author either, even if I’ve always been good at writing fiction. Speaking of that. I love writing fan fiction. It’s also a great escape from reality. You need to live in another world for a while. Especially when bad things are happening in the real world.

When I was younger, I had diaries. I didn’t write anything secret. Unless you mean crushes on pop stars. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If someone found my diaries and read them, I wouldn’t care. I’ve read them, and it’s more of, what was I thinking, kind of thing. But nothing I feel ashamed of. If I was famous tabloids, they would be very disappointed. There’s nothing there that would destroy my career. If I had one, that is.

I started writing at 7 years old, but then it was only a few sentences. Like I said before in this post, writing is like breathing to me. The same with music and photography. I just can’t live without them. I have to get my thoughts out of my head, and writing is better than keeping it all inside. You don’t have to be a great writer to write. It doesn’t even have to be published anywhere. As long as you write, that’s all that matters. That’s how I survive from depression. I feel down at times, but I’m lucky I don’t suffer from it. I could never put myself in someone elses shoes, but I can be there for the person who does have it bad.

These are the reasons why I write. If someone said I should stop writing, I should say, stop breathing. I’ll write until I can’t no more. It’s my life, and you should do what you like with yours. Do what you love, and don’t let other people spoil your mood.

This is a daily inspiration and my 30 minutes is up.

Tallenna