Tag: writing

Bloganuary: What is something you wish you knew how to do?

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Day 5. There are a lot of things I wish I knew how to do. But then I could be here all day. I wished I wouldn’t be so indecisive. There are many things I want to do, but I don’t know what I should concentrate on first. This is a problem I’ve had since I had to decide what to do after school at 17. Everything seemed to be too dull for my liking. While I was thinking about what I wanted to do, others had already done more than I have. I feel a bit ashamed that I haven’t had a paying job. I’m an introvert and not very ambitious. I also don’t like taking risks. That’s one of the things I wish I knew how to do. Maybe then I would have more achievements. I just give up too easily at times.

I wish I knew how to tell things about myself. Especially when writing them down. I don’t know what people want to know. What does it even mean, tell something about yourself? Talking about myself isn’t easy. It feels awkward somehow when it shouldn’t. If I could write them down, it would be different. Talking face to face with someone about it is another matter. Even writing them down is difficult. I just don’t know what to say. It’s the same with cover letters in a job search. It’s a pain to get the words out, so I don’t want to do it. I wish I was better at that too.

I also wish I could feel at ease when meeting new people. I don’t know how to start a conversation without feeling I’m bothering them. I’ve tried during the years to be braver, but it still feels unfamiliar. I don’t have much in common with the people I’ve met in the past. I’m not a storyteller. I prefer listening to others. They think I don’t want to talk, so they don’t even approach me. The things people talk about doesn’t interest me. If they talked about the things I like, it would be different. Introverts are misunderstood by extroverts. Being shy is different from being introverted. Either way, we are all different, and people should accept that. We should learn from each other because then we can grow as humans. Not only that, but also grow as an individual.

Been here before

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Some disappointing news first. The Elton John concert was supposed to be this year in Helsinki, but now it’s been postponed to 2023. No new date yet. This is some kind of déjà-vu. Some years ago, a concert was postponed that I was going to attend. Then there were no new dates added, so I didn’t get my money back because I waited too long. The concert was only 50 euros though. Now it’s happened again. I’m not sure I want to go to see Elton John after all. I’m not that big of a fan. He’s just one of my favourite artists. It’s gonna take ages to the concert, and maybe it won’t happen at all. Then it might be too late to get the money back. No one knows what gonna happen until 2023. You can get very ill and die. Maybe I don’t feel like going at all. The ticket wasn’t that cheap, so it would be a shame if I can’t get the money back. At first, I thought, I won’t go after all, but I’m not sure now. If I decided not to go or something else comes up, I hope I get a refund. It would be nice to see him live, though. It’s his farewell tour, after all.

The UX/UI course ended. Every time I study something, and it ends, it feels like I’ve been on the same page before. I have to start things over again. I never get anywhere, job-wise. What is the point of all of this studying if it never pays off? It only gives me something to do, and learning something new is always nice. It feels I repeat things. If it comes to writing this blog or fan fiction. I try to do things differently, but I get the deja vu feeling. It seems that same feeling comes when I see job suggestions on LinkedIn. I don’t why I get things like teaching jobs. Do my profile show I have any education about that? No, the same with some expert jobs. You can’t even stop those suggestions from coming. I wouldn’t be a very good teacher anyway. Also, the tips people share about how a resume should be like are coming out of my ears. If you have nothing interesting to add, it doesn’t matter how they look like. It’s only repeating the same old things.

I can’t think of anything else to say about deja vu.

I can’t think of anything else to say about deja vu. Oh, there it was again 😀

Break the silence or put on the brake

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Maybe it’s the hot summer or because I don’t get many likes with newer posts, but blogging isn’t the way it used to be. I don’t know if if I should break the silence or put on the brake with the whole thing. There are days I think I might write something, but other times I think why I should bother. It isn’t only blogging but writing in general. It feels like all that writing work are a waste of energy when it doesn’t get many likes. I don’t only write for myself. I also want others to read them. I wouldn’t put them online if I didn’t. It goes with blogging and posting fiction, also with social media. Sharing is caring, after all. I could just write things down on paper or private blog. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t post things only to get likes. Internet is a big place, and you never know if anyone actually reads or looks at what you post. They might only click on like by mistake.

I haven’t found a cure for cancer or any other great achievement, but I wish my posts would have more likes after nine years. At least older posts get likes from time to time. Sometimes it feels I’m only starting with blogging. I didn’t expect my blog would attract the same kind of attention as some other blogs do. My life is boring, so I have nothing existing to share. Getting likes or not is not the issue. I don’t know what to write in this blog anymore. Maybe I just need to put on the brake and have a break from blogging a while. Summer is a time when people are outside, so they don’t have time to read blogs. Especially when it’s hot, I’m too tired to think about anything important. When the hot weather stops, I might continue blogging. But you never know, I might still do it. I never know when inspiration strikes.