“I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”

HDSFirst meeting in Helsinki Design School is over. Even travelling back and forth for 3 days, is exhausting. But that’s the only way. Especially when you don’t know anyone that lives in Helsinki. Hotels are expensive too. Rest of the photography course will only be for 2 days so it will be easier. First I thought, maybe I could sleep over at a class mates house but after meeting them, I rather sleep at home. I don’t think I will get that close to anyone. Since I don’t travel much anyway, a few days a month doesn’t hurt.

Finding the school wasn’t that difficult. Using Google Maps helped. I found the place almost immediately. I wasn’t nervous when I got there. When I was younger I was much more nervous going to a new place. Now I was cool as a cucumber. The class rooms had see-through glass so you could watch what other classes were doing. In the hall there were fashion students working. In the class room there were 5 and a half rows of long tables with chairs. All white. People had already arrived and it was quiet. Only a few were talking so maybe they knew each other. Everyone had a file folder and 2 pencils for jotting. When the class started, the Director of Education talked to us about the school and about assignments. Just the basic. We were about 40 student so photography is very popular. There’s only 3 guys and the rest is girls. There were more applicants that they could take. Good I was the lucky one.

The most nervous thing was the introduction about yourself. A total hell for an introvert. I totally screwed that up. I was so nervous I didn’t even know if they understood what I said. Hearing what fellow student told about themselves made me feel like a loser. Most of them were younger than me and they already experienced a lot. Some had been living abroad and some had an own company. Most of them also live in Helsinki area. There’s was one who was from my city but had lived in Helsinki for some time. I felt like an outsider at that point.

As the time processed to Saturday, we already had a team work under our belt. That didn’t go too badly. I usually fear team work. Bad experiences I guess. On Saturday we had another teacher so we had to introduce ourselves again but this time it went better. I was still nervous but at least I got to say something reasonable. We had another team work. Twice. Won’t go into detail. Something about making your own Brad Pitt. OK, that was just my group 😀 That was much more fun.

I’ve always been bad with names but I do remember faces. Being in a big class like this, it’s natural you won’t get to know all of them. I hope I didn’t give a bad first impression. I might be drawn and keep to myself (liking eating alone) but it doesn’t mean I want to be like that all the time. I don’t really talk to anyone. Just when it comes to school work. I don’t really look for a friend. We don’t meet that often and they live in another city. It’s still early days so you never know. We already have a group on FB so that’s a start. It’s about assignment and school things mainly.

Next meeting is October 24. Before that doing assigments. 2 of them. I just hope my printer have color. They are suppose to be printed on a paper which is a shame since my photos look best on screen. Oh well the teachers better accept the quality they become.

Busy, busy bee

As you probably know, my photography school started today. So it’s gonna be busy, busy. I will update this blog but maybe not as much. Especially the days I spend my days in school. Plus the travelling. It’s only gonna be 2 days and once a month. This week it was 3 days.

The first assignment is finding 10 photos that defines me. But how to find 10, that’s the problem. And I should send the assigment to the teacher this evening. A little panic arousing. But the real panic will be tomorrow (Friday). We are suppose to explain why we chose those. I totally crew up my presentration today. I just don’t like talking about myself to 39 other strangers. They might think I’m a total weirdo. But let them. Maybe tomorrow I will be less nervous. I should get cracking.

“And then she lied to me. She told me she was just tired. But the truth was, she didn’t want to me my friend no more”