One on one vs Group talk


Introverts understand that one on one is prefered better than a big group. Especially if there are extroverts in them who keep talking. It’s also very noisy if there are more groups than one. This is common in team work.

I don’t get it how some people can talk about anything that comes to mind. I always think before I speak because it’s a waste of time talking about nothing special. The best conversations are one on one, with a person you know something about. Even better if it’s with a person who likes the same thing as you. With total strangers it just feels weird. If you don’t have anything in common, it’s more difficult to have a decent conversation.

What I dislike the most is when I’m the one who has to start a conversation. That’s unnatural for an introvert. It’s different when I talk to someone I know. If it’s not, I just want to get out of there or do something else. This what has happened during the career coaching. Group work with a bunch of people who doesn’t even talk to you at other times. Particularly if it’s pair work. I hate that. I’m not able to come up with anything if the other person doesn’t start the talking. All there is this silent awkwardness.

If it’s group work, it should be at least 4 people in it. Then there’s always someone saying something. They shouldn’t be best friends either because then they could have inside jokes or just leave you out of the discussion. There is one positive side of group work though. You hear other thoughts and not just from one person. One person know one thing and other knows another.

The truth is, the best conversation is not in a group or one on one, it’s the conversation you have in your own mind. Who knows you better than yourself. You can think what you like without having to hurt someone’s feelings. If someone heard those conversations, they would probably understand where you’re coming from. Or they may not. Some conversations shouldn’t be said in public. People are not as open-minded as you would think. Sometimes you need conversations by yourself.

A blessing and a curse


Describing yourself is the hardest thing. Especially when it comes to job searching. The career coaching I’m attending at the moment, we’re talking about CV’s and how to make one. I for one don’t really know what my strengths are. I can do a lot of things but I don’t know how to put them into words. We Finns are not used to toot our own horn. We don’t want to brag about ourselves and our skills. We think we sound too self-absorbed if we do. It’s also because of jealousy of other people. Succesful people are usually seen as arrogant because they’re confident and proud of their work. That’s something some Finns can’t stand.

It’s a blessing and a curse to be as versatile as I am. I’m sure some of you out there who are multitaskers know what I mean. I’m not best at anything but good in lot of things. That’s a blessing.
The curse is, I don’t know what I want to do more. That’s what makes job searching so difficult for me. I don’t know what I really want. There’s a lot but I can’t describe it what it is. So when I showed my CV to the coach and she said I should write what kind of photographer I am (that’s the main thing for me) and what are my 5 most important skills in that area. That’s makes me go hmm, I don’t know. I don’t even know what those are. I can’t rate myself like that. No one has really told me. It’s much easier to know what you do on your free time and what you like then. But you can’t make a living of it.

What I do know is that I’m good at listening. That’s a rare gift. People can talk about anything and they think I don’t hear. But I actually do. I observe. I can concentrate on my own things but I still hear what people talk about. I don’t eavesdrop on every word but I still hear. When my mother told me to do something (chores and such) and I was doing something else, she thought I couldn’t hear her but I did. It could get a little annoying to be disturbed if I were in a middle of a story I were writing. Just because I do my own, doesn’t mean I become hard of hearing.

It’s so much easier to know what you can’t do. You try to be positive but the negative thoughts come creeping in anyway. I could give a long list about things I can’t do the top of my head. You just have to find something positive out of the negative and you’ll be out of the water. And when you do, you should not be afraid to toot your own horn because you deserve it.