It seems I never get even tiny chances in anything. If it’s a chance to get someone to like you romantically or getting an internship in a company. The latter is the most important thing. I don’t seem to get any foot between any door. No matter how many times I send applications or ask through email, I never get any replies. We are supposed to find a client or an internship in a company in our web design education which begins November 14 and is to December 11, 2016. I have no luck to find anything. Even social media hasn’t helped. I’m probably the only one in my class without anything. Maybe web design is just not my thing after all. I don’t even think I could make any sites without help. I already struggle with it. If I can’t make one to myself, how can I make for someone else? That’s the reason why I would prefer a company where they make web sites. It seems I never even have a tiny chance. It’s hard to keep up the motivation when I feel like I can’t do anything.

These are times I wonder what’s wrong with me. Why doesn’t anyone give me a tiny chance in anything? Am I too ugly to get hired? I have studied different things but it’s not appreciated enough it seems. Maybe I’m just not good at explaining things. I’ve been on job search courses but those were no help. It doesn’t matter what kind of advice you get, they won’t work. If they work, it happens to other people. Luck doesn’t seem to find me. I have skills but only I seem to know that. It’s not my fault I’m being overlooked. A lot of other people are too so I’m not alone with this problem. I’m old enough and confident enough to know it’s not me, it’s them. The only fight I’m gonna have is with myself.

Tiny things won’t let me down. I’ve learned to enjoy the small things in life. I love walking through fallen leaves. I love the rain. I don’t care if it’s dark outside. I put my rubber boots on and take my umbrella to take a walk. I jump in the puddles like little kids do. In the winter if there’s snow I take long walks. I don’t mind the cold. That’s what warm clothes are for. I take some snow and try to make a ball. I throw it away and maybe I hit a tree. That’s what life is for. Why do adults stop doing these things? You’re never too old. It’s only stuck up people who thinks so and there’s a lot of those people.
I love writing fan fiction. I won’t stop just because someone doesn’t like them. I’m not the best writer out there but that’s not the reason I do it. I write them because it gives me a chance to escape the world for a while. Sometimes I’m so into them, I forget the time. I hate to stop when the words are flowing. When inspiration struck, you don’t want to stop or you have to catch the train of thought again.

Always do what you love the most. That’s how I go by. Tiny stuff but big thoughts. Life would be empty without them.