I don’t see dead people


This is not a Halloween post. I don’t like Halloween. You must be ghoulish if you do. Finland doesn’t have Halloween. We got All Saint’s Day. We remember the loved ones who have passed away. We don’t do trick or treating. That has nothing to do with death. It’s not about scaring people either. Death shouldn’t be scary. What should be scary is seeing real dead people. I can’t look at dead bodies.

When my mother’s mother died, there was a photo of her dead body. I just couldn’t look at it. I found it creepy. When my mother died, I didn’t want to see her body. I didn’t want to remember her like that. Seeing your loved ones dead corpse is different from seeing one on the news. I rather not look at those either but I don’t freak out. Dead bodies on movies and in TV shows doesn’t bother me that much since I know it’s all fake. I still don’t watch anything with zombies or other unnatural things. It’s all make-up but it’s really impressively done. It’s too disgusting for my taste. I still can’t watch the whole “Thriller’ music video by Michael Jackson. I always look away when that zombie part comes.

I don’t see dead people and if I did, I would totally freak out. Apparently, there are people who actually can. I do believe there are ghosts but they’re not evil like you see in some movies. They don’t want to scare you. It would be nice if you could come back as a ghost and scare the people who have done you wrong. When I die I hope I can become one so I can haunt people for fun. Sometimes it feels like someone is watching over me since I haven’t been a terrible accident. It’s not a ghost, it’s more like a guardian angel. When I was younger I thought it could be my sister from beyond. Now it could be anyone. I think there is some kind of higher power that looks over us. It can be a ghost or a guardian angel. But like life is, you live and you die. Nothing lasts forever on earth but after death, it will.




Find yourself in the moment

Canada goldenrod fluff
Post title from ‘All you need is now’ by Duran Duran

When I think about fluff I think about fan fiction with no special plot. My life is a bit like fluff. I have my moments but I don’t have a special goal to achieve. I just live for the moment. Don’t ask me what I’ll do in 5 or 10 years since I don’t even know what I’ll be doing tomorrow. I can have plans what I want to do but it takes time before I even try. I guess it’s because what has happened in my life. Unexpected deaths in the family and my school years. I don’t want to think about the future. I’ve had more downsides than upsides so I’ve learned not to expect too much. Life is a mystery and I don’t want any surprises I haven’t waited for. Sometimes I lose faith in me and other people. It’s easier to live for the moment. Less you expect things, less disappointed you will be.

I don’t compare my life with others. I want to be an individual who doesn’t walk the same path other people do. There was a time I wanted things other people had but now I’m happy the way things are. I could always be happier though. Having a job I really like doing is one thing. I also want to see places without having to think I can’t afford it. Money doesn’t make you happy but it’s always nice to have it. I’m totally fine with what I am and I don’t need anyone’s approval. Like I wrote yesterday in One Line Sunday. I’m grateful for what I have. My life is fluff and I don’t need a special plot to keep going.